Are You a Sucker or a Moocher?

I am reading a copy of a new book by Charles Sykes called>< A Nation of Moochers: America's Addiction to Getting Something for Nothing. Sykes is also the author of similar titles on entitlement including The book is good for those who feel like suckers, playing by the rules and paying for those who don't. As you read the book, you can really understand why it is that people vote for wealth redistributionists like Obama. "Roughly 60 percent of American households actually were receiving more government benefits and services than they were paying back in taxes and the Tax Foundation estimated that under the 2009 federal budget, 70 percent of households would take in more than they contribute." Why not keep the gravy train going at little or no expense to themselves? But what about the producers, those who are paying? One of the central questions of the book is whether we are at the "tipping point." The author asks:

When do independent, self-sufficient men or women realize that they are society's suckers, being made to work for the benefit of an ever-growing, ever-shifting, and increasingly insistent and more grasping class of moochers? When do they decide to jump the line? Are we already there?

In one of the last chapters, Sykes states, "Finally, we need to recognize that mooching simply recycles wealth; it does not generate it." We all lose if we let the moochers among us dictate our demise. The book gives some suggestions on how to change things but ultimately, it is up to us, by who we elect and our political class to make those changes. If the same losers end up in office, what are the chances? This is one reason that moochers should not be encouraged, either through policy or culture. If we make it more unpleasant to be a moocher, perhaps there would be fewer moochers among us. So, are you a sucker or a moocher or somewhere in-between? Are you a sucker who has reached the "tipping point?" What do you feel you can do about it, if anything?

"You Have to Practice Happiness."

Amy Alkon has a good interview up with psychologist Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky on her book The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want. Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky says that the components of happiness are estimated to be 50% genetic, 10% life circumstances, and 40% of happiness comes through your thoughts and actions: the latter is where one can practice to improve their life. Do you agree with this analysis?

Is a Good Blogger Thick-skinned or Well-Read or Both?

Do you think that a book on the technique of blogging can help you be a better blogger? I'm not so sure but I did pick up a copy of Writing for the Web: Creating Compelling Web Content Using Words, Pictures, and Sound to see if maybe I was missing something. Somehow, I feel that good bloggers are those who have good topics, read a lot of blogs, read and write and practice their craft fairly frequently. But, in order to stick with blogging, I think you need a thick skin. It seems like a number of fairly good bloggers quit because they feel upset, fed up, insulted or demeaned. I once had the head of a medical program write to tell me he was upset because he saw something negative about himself in another blog that I had linked to; I had actually defended his position to some degree but he blamed me for linking to someone who thought he was less than perfect. I don't think he would do well in the web world where negativity is often the name of the game. Anyway, a book on blogging technique? I suppose it could be useful. Lynda Felder's book makes some good points. She talks about the importance of making a commitment to writing either daily or weekly, pursuing your passions, keeping content fresh, and writing succinctly. The book seems most helpful for those who are new to blogging or who want to add more images, sound and video to their website and need information on style and substance. What qualities define a good blogger in your opinion?

"Sixty to 90 percent of jobs are found informally - mainly through friends, relatives, and direct contacts."

I thought about the above statistic as I read a new book called The 11 Laws of Likability: Relationship Networking . . . Because People Do Business with People They Like. The author, Michelle Lederman, gives good advice on how to network in a more relaxed and authentic way. If you are looking for a job (or trying to build your business), her advice can be invaluable.

My favorite chapter was one on "The Law of Perception" that discussed nonverbal body language and how important it is in a job interview or in business dealings. Making eye contact, standing tall, and pausing at the right time can all lead to positive perceptions whereas lack of eye contact or staring, slouching and coming off as insincere and fake can give a negative impression that loses you a job interview or potential client.

I used to think it was unfair that people had to get others to like them or had to know someone to get a job but I realize that this analysis was unfair itself. Why would someone want to hire someone or do business with someone who is not recommended by a person that you think highly of? Is a complete stranger with no known background a better bet? I doubt it.

Facing Violence

I received a couple of copies of Rory Miller's new book Facing Violence: Preparing for the Unexpected from the publisher and immediately started reading the book. What I like about the authors of violence prevention books at YMAA Publication is that they focus a lot on the psychology of violence, preparing your mind and understanding what violence is and isn't. However, I often feel that they offer up similar advice to those who are thuggish types who tend to escalate violence and those who are minding their own business and encounter violence out of the blue. In my opinion, the psychology between these two is immensely different and should be reflected in how to think and respond.

In the first chapter and throughout the book, Miller discusses the legal and ethical aspects of violence. He talks about how laws set the standard for behavior and you will be held to it. "You must know how the law limits what you can and cannot do--and then you must adapt your training to work within those limits."

Miller goes on in the book to discuss how most middle class types have little idea about how criminals think (true enough) but focusing on how to defend yourself constantly to a jury is not exactly the best mindset for what to do when facing unexpected violence. Say you are coming out of a movie and someone jumps you with a knife? "Gee, what would the law say to do here?" is not going to help you survive. Knowing when to fight and when to flee is paramount here, not second guessing jury decisions. Sorry Mr. Miller, but as the saying goes, "I would rather be judged by a jury of twelve than carried by six."

I think regular people have enough problems displaying or even thinking about violence. Overcoming that in this culture is hard. As much as experts lament the "culture of violence" that we have in our society, the truth is, in our day to day lives, most normal people are not used to violence and have no idea what to do when it strikes unexpectedly.

Miller does a good job in this regard. He discusses the ethics of knowing where your line is before you come in contact with violence. He talks a lot about "breaking the Freeze." Freezing is "the state of not moving when you are in danger." Miller does a great job here of describing how to practice getting out of a freeze. He tells the reader to practice doing hard things and gives other suggestions.

Overall, a very good book for learning specific techniques when confronted with violence and a good manual for young guys (or older ones) who tend to be hot-headed and need to learn to manage their anger. However, the real people who need this book will never read it. They will be too busy disregarding the law, not worrying about the legalities of what they are doing and clearing their minds of anything but their next criminal act. For those who are not criminals and predators, but just innocent potential victims, a clear mind allows focus and forethought on the task in front of you. If it is unexpected violence, a plan is good, a head clouded with legal fears is not.

John Hawkins interviews Warren Farrell about his book Why Men Are the Way They Are.

Reagan's Journey

I am reading a new book on Ronald Reagan that just came out this week entitled Reagan's Journey: Lessons From a Remarkable Career. The author, Margot Morrell is a leadership expert who describes Reagan's journey from an "introverted boy" to "The Great Communicator." She highlights the strategies and tactics he used to become successful and "offers a model for leaders and managers in every walk of life."

Some advice from the book includes:

Keep in touch with your network of friends and supporters.

Maintain good relationships with opponents and rivals. You never know when you will need their help and cooperation.

Find a life partner or trusted confidant who is supportive of your goals and dreams. That person will be integral to your success.

Forge strategic alliances. Seek out business partners whose strengths and talents complement your abilities.

Surround yourself with positive and upbeat people who support your success.

Good advice.

Cross-posted at the PJ Tatler.

Med school: Up close and personal

I am reading a new book by Dr. Anthony Youn, a plastic surgeon called In Stitches. If you ever wanted to know what it was like to take the MCATs and make it through medical school, this is your book. If you are already a doctor, this book will take you back to that time and the sacrifice that one makes to get through this grueling process.

Youn starts out as a young nerd with Coke-bottle glasses and progresses through the book to become a well known plastic surgeon with a blog at www.celebcosmeticsurgery.com You know you've hit the big time when you have a blog, right? Okay, perhaps not but it's fun. Anyway, Youn provides engaging descriptions of his youth as a nonviolent Korean kid who in fifth grade watches as the only other Asian kid in his class beats up some bullies using Bruce Lee techniques:

Karate, I know, is an Asian stereotype. Wiping out a swarm of fifth-grade douche bags, though is cool. And since I'm standing next to Kirby when he does it, I, too, have become cool. For the moment.

Of course, things get worse for this poor nerd in college which he calls the worst four years of his life. Then, he goes to med school partly because his dad wants him to but mostly, he admits on page 56 because "Chicks love doctors" and "mainly, I want to get laid." It is not until he is 25 that he gets a girlfriend.

By the end of the book, he is on his way and his feelings about being a doctor change. "I want to fix people.".."I want to make them look different if they need to, or even if they want to. Because maybe I can make them...better."

I guess that's a better reason than wanting to get laid, or maybe not.

Is there such a thing as "too much kindness?"

I just received my copy of Barbara Oakley's new book Cold-Blooded Kindness: Neuroquirks of a Codependent Killer, or Just Give Me a Shot at Loving You, Dear, and Other Reflections on Helping That Hurts. Now, that is some subtitle. The book, I must say, is awesome. Okay, I wrote a blurb for it (along with Joyce Carol Oates and Steven Pinker who felt the same way) basically saying as much, but it really is a fascinating read from start to finish.

The book tells the story of Carole Alden who murdered her husband and asks some pertinent questions that no one else ever seems to ponder: "Is kindness always the right answer? Is kindness always what it seems?"

Oakley uses science to help us explore the darker motives behind excessive kindness. I am interviewing her for a PJTV show soon and hope to share more with you.

Have any of you experienced someone who was "overly kind" to the point where you felt they were actually destructive?

If we had more altruists like Andrew Breitbart , the world would be a better place

I received a copy of Andrew Breitbart's new book Righteous Indignation: Excuse Me While I Save the World! and immediately started reading. I find Breitbart's enthusiasm and restless indignation of the liberal media refreshing and candid. His book was exactly the same.

I have heard Breitbart speak about how he became more right-leaning but it was interesting to read the story of his transition from default liberal to conservative/libertarian when he saw Clarence Thomas raked over the coals because of his political leanings. But even more importantly, Breitbart saw what the media did to shape the story line without evidence because they were in collusion with the Democratic party with no regard for free speech or the truth. Breitbart has spent the rest of his career righting this wrong.

He has done it at great personal expense to himself and his dedication and sheer determination in this regard are worthy of respect, even if you do not agree with his politics. Most people have trouble standing up to the smallest of confrontations; Breitbart has taken on the mainstream media and is winning that war. His book is a testament to all that he has done from being Matt Drudge's "bitch" to becoming a one-man army for free speech and freedom for all, despite one's political leanings.

Read the book, it is quite a journey.

Cross-posted at the PJ Tatler.

The Bad Mother

Journalist Nancy Rommelmann wrote me about her new book The Bad Mother: A Novel and wondered if I would be interested in the topic. "Yes," was my answer when I saw that the story centered on the lives of Hollywood's transient population of street kids.

Maybe the street kid angle caught my interest as a psychologist or, more likely, it may be that I just got back from LA and Hollywood last week and I kind of missed it and figured the book would let me know more about the area from a different perspective. A cab driver told me about the kids and characters that hung around in Hollywood who were sometimes on drugs and sometimes lost. I wanted to know more. I was not disappointed. Rommelmann's skillful portrayal of the characters shows their unattractive side in a way that is realistic, shady and pulls the reader into a world they may never otherwise encounter.

The characters in the novel are based, in part, on Rommelmann's experiences chronicling the "under-told stories of Los Angeles's various shadow populations for the LA Weekly and the LA Times; a crew of Mexican gardeners working the Hollywood Hills; cop groupies hanging out at the LAPD's favorite bar, an East Coast heiress-gone-alcoholic begging for change at Venice Beach, and the dream-broke residents of Sunset Boulevard's $40-a-night motels."

Maybe these stories should be untold, they are depressing. The kids in the book are around 13-18 (mainly on the younger side). They shoplift, have sex with older men (and women) for cash, use drugs and have kids that they seem to have no business keeping. The girl, Mary, one of the main characters, has a baby at 13 that leaves the reader wondering throughout the book why in the hell she kept it.

Although the reader has to feel sorry at some points for the lives of these teens, it often seems to be of their own making. The babies who are born to the teen moms on the street never asked to be part of it. Sadly, they are the ones who will probably suffer the most.

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Back Pain

I just got a new book in the mail called The Complete Idiot's Guide to Back Pain which seemed appropriate since I just got back from physical therapy to help me deal with back pain caused by the computer. Anyway, the book was written by Jason Highsmith, M.D. who is a neurosurgeon and Jovanka Millivojevic, a health writer and fitness expert.

The book is easy to read and follow as it should be since it's one of the "Complete Idiot's Guides." I was glad to see that the authors focused on those of us with sedentary jobs that still wreck havoc on our backs. The computer has definitely caused some wear and tear on my neck and back but that doesn't mean I will give it up.

There is a chapter on Ergonomics that discusses solutions for daily back pain culprits, how to make adjustments for your back at home, work and play and how to get a good night's sleep. Another chapter on neck pain and how it relates to back pain was good as it discusses the neck's anatomy and different syndromes that can produce back pain. Since the book is written in part by a surgeon, it gives good information on different types of surgeries of the neck and back and talks about the latest and greatest treatments of back pain such as stem cell research and clinical trials.

Exercising for a Happy, Health Back and a chapter on Pilates and Yoga had good advice for do-it-yourselfers and included some exercises to lengthen and strengthen the back.

Well, I think I'll go try out some of these exercises, my aching back could use it.

I am in the middle of reading Dick Morris and Eileen McGann's new book Revolt!: How to Defeat Obama and Repeal His Socialist Programs. The book gives the authors' game plan for tackling Obamacare, the crippling of free speech on talk radio and the internet and how to stop cap and trade. As most of you probably know, Morris was Bill Clinton's political consultant for 20 years, and is now a commentator for Fox News.

The chapter that I found most helpful was entitled "How Obama has screwed up our economy" in which the authors discuss why tax hikes won't cut the deficit, and how tax cuts stimulate the economy. They give examples such as when Reagan agreed with a Democratic Congress to raise taxes in 1982. "The deal was that for each dollar in tax hikes, they would cut $3.00 in government spending. ...But although the taxes went up, the spending never came down. In fact it rose. From 1983 to 1988 federal outlays increased 808 billion to $1.1 trillion." The authors also point out that when Clinton cut the capital gains rate from 28% to 20%..."growth averaged 4.6% over the next three years--1.6% higher." Morris points out that part of the growth during the Clinton administration was due to this capital gains cut (along with a booming tech bubble and economy). Interesting stuff.

Is "Manning up" the answer?

"I don't think so," I thought as I read an email about Kay Hymowitz's new book, Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men into Boys. The book has a foreword by Christina Hoff Sommers, the author of Who Stole Feminism? so I am hoping that it gives men a fair shake--though given the title, I have to wonder [Oops, just found out I was confused by the literature I received. Christina Hoff Sommers did not write the introduction to the book--she is giving the introduction at a luncheon for the book]. Here is the description from Amazon.com:

In Manning Up, Manhattan Institute fellow and City Journal contributing editor Kay Hymowitz argues that the gains of the feminist revolution have had a dramatic, unanticipated effect on the current generation of young men. Traditional roles of family man and provider have been turned upside down as “pre-adult” men, stuck between adolescence and “real” adulthood, find themselves lost in a world where women make more money, are more educated, and are less likely to want to settle down and build a family. Their old scripts are gone, and young men find themselves adrift. Unlike women, they have no biological clock telling them it’s time to grow up. Hymowitz argues that it’s time for these young men to “man up.”

Okay, I haven't read the book--it just came out, but I am hoping that she is not blaming the problem on men and telling them to "man up" by giving women the marriage and family they want while putting themselves at risk. I am disturbed by one of the book blurbs by Richard Whitmire, author of "Why Boys Fail" who says:

“Kay Hymowitz does an exacting job describing the growing flock of man/children we're seeing, and she lays out the disturbing reality of the ‘marriageable mate’ dilemma that once affected only black women but has now become a broader phenomenon. Not only are there fewer college-educated men to marry, but many of those men who are available are little more than man/children—not anyone you would want your daughters to marry!”

If the blame is put on men because of their immaturity, Hymowitz still doesn't get it.

When someone tells you to "man-up," what do you think they are trying to tell you?

Update: So Glenn just got a nice autographed copy of the book in the mail. If I get a chance to read it soon, I will post more about it.

Update II: I just did a review of the book for Pajama's Media that will be up soon.

Economics 101

I am attempting to read Thomas Sowell's excellent new updated book Basic Economics 4th Ed: A Common Sense Guide to the Economy. I say attempting because the book is 689 pages long and filled with detailed information including a new chapter on the history of economics. I took economics in college but it's been awhile and Sowell's book really brings the layperson up to date on what economics is and how principals of economics apply around the world.

Sowell uses British economist Lionel Robbins classic definition of economics:

Economics is the study of the use of scarce resources which have alternative uses.

It sounds simple enough but the next 600 or so pages of Sowell's book are required just to understand this simple enough definition. Sowell notes:

...economics studies the consequences of decisions that are made about the use of land, labor, capital and other resources that go into producing the volume of output which determines a country's standard of living. Those decisions and their consequences can be more important than the resources themselves, for there are poor countries with rich natural resources and countries like Japan and Switzerland with relatively few natural resources but high standards of living.

Why is this? How do politics play a part? These are the questions I have and as I travel through the book one page at a time, I am learning the answers. Perhaps you have other economic questions such as the role of prices and why they are important, or you want to know more about the economics of international trade, or you just want to know about the different theories of economic thought in a fun and easy to read format. It's all in this book and more than I care (or you would want to read) to write about in a blog post.

Cross-posted at the PJ Tatler.

Fat Head filmmaker Tom Naughton has a good interview up with Gary Taubes, author of Why We Get Fat: And What to Do About It.

Burning other people's money

I am reading a new book by Michael Prell called Underdogma: How America's Enemies Use Our Love for the Underdog to Trash American Power. The title pretty much describes the book which defines Underdogma as "the reflexive belief that those who have less power (underdogs) are good, and that those who have more power (overdogs) are bad."

The book is a fascinating look at why so many people admire the underdog and hate those who achieve or are successful. From a psychological standpoint, the chapter on "Personal Underdogma" really helped to understand the motives behind so many people's desire to tax and take money from the so-called "rich" even if it means that their own wealth will suffer. The chapter describes a very important study conducted by a pair of economists at the Universities of Oxford and Warwick in 2001:

"Are people willing to pay to burn other people's money? The short answer to this question is: yes. Our subjects gave up large amounts of their cash to hurt others in the laboratory. The extent of burning surprised us...Even at a price of 0.25 (meaning that to burn another person's dollar cost me 25 cents), many people wished to destroy other individuals' cash."

--"Are People willing to Pay to Reduce Others' Incomes?" Daniel John Zizzo & Andrew Oswald, July 2, 2001

Author Prell notes that the researchers called this Phenomenon "the dark side of human nature." He calls it Personal Underdogma.

Whatever name is used, it is a problem that needs a solution because as long as jealous citizens and politicians are willing to sabotage success even at expense to themselves, and thus society, losers will prosper and winners will lose. This can't be good for any society.

Update: Cross-posted at the PJ Tatler.

Why we get fat

I am reading Gary Taubes' new book Why We Get Fat: And What to Do About It. He is the author of the popular book Good Calories, Bad Calories: Fats, Carbs, and the Controversial Science of Diet and Health and this new book seems to be an extension of further research into what makes us fat. I kept looking for something new here as it seems lots of diet books tout the low carb, high protein one that Taubes does, and this book delivers by providing more understanding into the science behind why we gain weight and how to change it.

Many times, people think that being fat is just a lack of willpower. I never have as I have met too many people who do not seem to eat all that much and are still significantly overweight. I, like most people, have also met many people who eat all the time and never seem to gain weight. Those latter people often like to think of themselves as paragons of virtue when it comes to food, but as Taubes points out in the new book, these people simply process carbs differently. In a chapter entitled "Why I get fat and you don't (and Vice Versa)," Taubes explains why people get fat in middle age:

...the conventional wisdom that those of us who fatten as we move into middle age do so because our metabolism slows down, probably has this cause and effect backward. More likely is that our muscles become increasingly resistant to insulin, and this partitions more of the energy we consume into fat, leaving less available for the cells of muscles and organs to use for fuel. These cells now generate less energy, and this is what we mean when we say that our metabolism slows down. Our "metabolic rate" decreases. Once again, what appears to be a cause of fattening--the slowing of our metabolism--is really an effect. You don't get fat because your metabolism slows; your metabolism slows because you get fat.

Overall, the book seems like a good one to add to your library if you want to learn more about the science of eating and how to stay slim. It takes a fairly scientific topic that is rather dry and makes it digestible for the average dieter.

Great book title

I found this book Surviving Your Stupid, Stupid Decision to Go to Grad School over at a blog post on why not to go to graduate school (via Instapundit). I had to laugh at the great title and went over to Amazon to check out the book and found it to be pretty straight forward on the downsides of a graduate school education. The book deals with:

• advice on maintaining a veneer of productivity in front of your advisor
• tips for sleeping upright during boring seminars
• a description of how to find which departmental events have the best unguarded free food
• how you can convincingly fudge data and feign progress

I would have given other tips and advice about grad school such as staying out of the department or the school for that matter, even for free food--who wants to hang around with professors and others that are already making your life miserable? Spend your time away from them and give yourself a break. Anyway, the book looks good. I wish I had read it before considering graduate school years ago.

Presenting to boards and councils

I am reading a new guide by Michael Wade entitled How to Make Presentations to Councils and Boards. The book is a great tool if you want to learn to be effective making presentations to boards and councils. For many new activists out there who are speaking up at city council meetings, school boards and other political arenas, there is a lot of good advice packed into a very short and succinct guide (57 pages). Wade focuses on some psychological techniques such as not worrying about being smooth or flawless. Rather, "a speaker who is not perfect can project a genuine nature that wins over the audience." Techniques and approaches that are unique to council and board meetings are prevalent throughout the book, and even work for meetings that are less formal. So even if you just want to give a persuasive talk to your Home Owner's association, this book might help.