Complex analysis: Men are slobs!

Reader Jeff emails an interesting story about Australian men being sexual turn offs to women:

Australian men are complaining of a lack of sex. Could they be the problem, asks Wendy Frew....

As sex therapist and social commentator Bettina Arndt explains in her book The Sex Diaries, many men - though otherwise happily married - are starved of the sex and affection we should all expect from our relationships.

Low libidos, long working days and onerous household chores have been cited - among other things - as reasons why some men want it more often, only to find their women cringing at their creeping hands in the bedroom.

In 2007, Arndt asked 98 "ordinary Australian couples" to keep a diary for six to nine months. They were meant to confess the very personal issue of how they negotiated sexual relations with their partner...

But somehow in the ensuing debate, the complexity of human responses has been ignored when it comes to apportioning blame. It seems it's all a woman's fault.

The author of the article concludes that it is not women's fault, but men who are "going to seed:"

Let's face it, many men lose their attractiveness.

Cocooned in married bliss, well fed and watered, with someone else changing the sheets and washing the towels, they quickly go to seed. Their beer bellies swell, body parts droop, and their breath goes sour, and don't they get all of us in the mood.

How many men fret about their wardrobe? How many take particular care with personal hygiene? Many men think three days of facial growth is sexy, far more than for whom it actually is. They think an old Rolling Stones T-shirt is chic, when it's just plain shabby. And most wouldn't be seen dead in a gym, claiming it's too metrosexual, too homosexual or anything but the truth: it's just too hard.

Most women are generous in praising the virtues - physical and mental, if not emotional - of their menfolk [my emphasis]. Few women would demand their partner visit an Ashley & Martin hair-loss clinic, for instance. Hair loss is a natural, if unwelcome, process and bald men can look hot. And which woman would insist on their fella dyeing his hair or having pec implants?

Women are generous in praising men's virtues? Men are cocooned in marital bliss? What crack has this woman been smoking? Male bashing is alive and well and women are the majority of complainers when it comes to being disgusted with the opposite sex. Women may not be totally to blame when it comes to lack of desire, but to say that men are just unattractive slobs is hardly a suitable answer either. The author talks about a lack of complexity of human responses and then gives a simplistic answer to the problem herself. Maybe she needs to take her own advice but that would require actually treating men as human beings, a trait she obviously lacks.

Knoxville Tea Party

Knoxville will be having a Tea Party protest on April 15th. Glenn and I will be there covering it for PJTV. Here's the website for those who are interested.

PJTV: Some non-PC advice for Obama's Council on Women and Girls

Amy Alkon and I have some advice for Obama's Council on Women and Girls in today's PJTV segment.

You can watch the show here.



If you have some complaints or comments for Obama's Council, you can go here to the Office of Public Liaison.

"The U.S. government is set to offer an online emotional rescue kit! "

So states Drudge on a developing story. Apparently, this emotional kit is to help people deal with the stress of the financial crisis. Isn't this kind of like an abusive spouse providing you with tips on how to cope with his or her abuse? As Libertarian Harry Browne once said, "Government is good at one thing: It knows how to break your legs, hand you a crutch, and say, "See, if it weren't for the government, you wouldn't be able to walk."

Update: Fausta's Blog: The government is not here to help.

"Stewart's ex-wife said he had been reaching out recently to family members.."

A man killed 8 people in a nursing home in Carthage, North Carolina Sunday morning, and police have no motive as of yet. What struck me was the information provided by his ex-wife:

While authorities declined to comment on a possible motive, Stewart's ex-wife said he had been reaching out recently to family members, telling them he had cancer and was preparing for a long trip and to "go away." Sue Griffin said she was married to Stewart for 15 years, and while they hadn't spoken since divorcing in 2001, he had been trying to call her during the past week through her son, mother, sister and grandmother.

"He did have some violent tendencies from time to time," Griffin said. "I wouldn't put it past him. I hate to say it, but it is true."

Prior to many of these brutal attacks, the perpetrator often tries to reach out to others. Most of the time, no one listens or responds, perhaps with good reason. People want to believe that these attacks "just happen"--and there is nothing anyone can do.

In my experience, this is not true. Anger is sometimes depression and frustration turned outward. If the underlying emotions can be addressed, sometimes tragedy can be averted. I have witnessed this first hand over my career and it is unfortunate that so many people--particularly men--have few places to turn. People are afraid of violent tendencies, especially in men and many fall through the cracks. I am not defending what this man did, for there is no excuse here. But understanding the causes of this type of violence and treating a person prior to a rampage is imperative in stopping it.