Complex analysis: Men are slobs!
Australian men are complaining of a lack of sex. Could they be the problem, asks Wendy Frew....
As sex therapist and social commentator Bettina Arndt explains in her book The Sex Diaries, many men - though otherwise happily married - are starved of the sex and affection we should all expect from our relationships.
Low libidos, long working days and onerous household chores have been cited - among other things - as reasons why some men want it more often, only to find their women cringing at their creeping hands in the bedroom.
In 2007, Arndt asked 98 "ordinary Australian couples" to keep a diary for six to nine months. They were meant to confess the very personal issue of how they negotiated sexual relations with their partner...
But somehow in the ensuing debate, the complexity of human responses has been ignored when it comes to apportioning blame. It seems it's all a woman's fault.
The author of the article concludes that it is not women's fault, but men who are "going to seed:"
Let's face it, many men lose their attractiveness.
Cocooned in married bliss, well fed and watered, with someone else changing the sheets and washing the towels, they quickly go to seed. Their beer bellies swell, body parts droop, and their breath goes sour, and don't they get all of us in the mood.
How many men fret about their wardrobe? How many take particular care with personal hygiene? Many men think three days of facial growth is sexy, far more than for whom it actually is. They think an old Rolling Stones T-shirt is chic, when it's just plain shabby. And most wouldn't be seen dead in a gym, claiming it's too metrosexual, too homosexual or anything but the truth: it's just too hard.
Most women are generous in praising the virtues - physical and mental, if not emotional - of their menfolk [my emphasis]. Few women would demand their partner visit an Ashley & Martin hair-loss clinic, for instance. Hair loss is a natural, if unwelcome, process and bald men can look hot. And which woman would insist on their fella dyeing his hair or having pec implants?
Women are generous in praising men's virtues? Men are cocooned in marital bliss? What crack has this woman been smoking? Male bashing is alive and well and women are the majority of complainers when it comes to being disgusted with the opposite sex. Women may not be totally to blame when it comes to lack of desire, but to say that men are just unattractive slobs is hardly a suitable answer either. The author talks about a lack of complexity of human responses and then gives a simplistic answer to the problem herself. Maybe she needs to take her own advice but that would require actually treating men as human beings, a trait she obviously lacks.