"I don't understand why someone becomes your financial responsibility just because you married them"

There is an interesting article in the WSJ that I somehow missed (thanks to the reader who emailed it) --Men Receiving Alimony Want A Little Respect with an added caption: "Modern Males Say Living Off the Ex-Wife Is No Cause for Shame." Some of the women are up in arms about paying their ex large sums of money:

To Ms. Friedman, that financial history fails to support the argument that she should send thousands a month to her ex-husband, with whom she had no children. "I don't understand why someone becomes your financial responsibility just because you married them," says Ms. Friedman, who earns about $500,000 a year as the supervising producer of the soap opera "The Bold and the Beautiful."

I agree with Ms. Friedman, why should someone become your financial responsibility, especially after the two of you are divorced and have no children? Yet, men have been held to this standard for some time now, and women are now earning larger paychecks. If men are still responsible for alimony, then women should be also. If women want to be free of alimony, they should fight to end the whole thing, for both men and women, especially for those with no children.

Ask Dr. Helen: Are Men Keeping Other Men Down?

My PJM column is up:

Male judges who deny men access to their kids, male professors who bypass men for tenure, and certain male presidents who sexually harass women all help fuel anti-male bias.

Read the column and let me know if you think men are also playing a role in the anti-male bias in our society.

See Jane Hit

Several readers (thanks) have emailed this news story about a group of girls who attacked another girl and posted the video on YouTube and bragged about their crime. Two boys, it was said by news sources, (click on the video to hear the news anchor discuss this) served as lookouts while the beating took place. Notice how times have changed. It used to be the girls serving as accessories to crimes, and now, in some cases, it's the boys.

Why were the girls angry? It seems that the victim, Victoria Lindsay, posted some negative stuff on MySpace about some of her peers and they were upset. Rather than confront her for what she did and talk to her about it, or insist that she take down the MySpace insults, they beat her up and put up the video for the world to see. Many of the news sources asked "why" and had psychiatrists such as this one on Fox News (click on the video in the middle of the page) discuss the "pack mentality" where kids get together and feel more powerful as a group and do things that they might not do alone. The victim's parents blamed the beating on the internet:

Her parents blamed the Internet for the incident.

"These Web sites are creating a space for criminal activity, beating, fights," Patrick Lindsay said. "MySpace, MTV's 'Jackass,' they are enticing our children and desensitizing out children. Now, if they create the best shock video, they are the heroes. They think it is top dollar..."

Rubbing his wife's back as she tried to gain her composure, Patrick Lindsay vowed to get justice for their daughter.

"I'm very upset with these Internet sites," he said. "As far as I'm concerned, MySpace is the anti-Christ for children. I'm going to carry this as far as I can.”

While the need to get "shock video" and a pack mentality may play a part in why girls become violent, there is more brewing in these types of girl crimes. Psychologist James Garbarino, author of See Jane Hit: Why Girls Are Growing More Violent and What We Can Do About It, explains some of the cultural reasons that girls are turning to assaulting others. In the book, Garbarino discusses the "New American Girl":

...Girls are hitting people more than in the past, and this represents a challenge to adults charged with responsibility for rearing and teaching those girls.

Second, girls are getting physical and learning the very positive message that their bodies can be physically powerful in ways that are not sexual. These very positive changes in girls result from unleashing them from the traditional bonds of femininity and are evident in assertiveness, participation in sports, and active rather than passive psychological coping strategies...

...more and more of the aggression displayed by girls is physical. This aggression is often displayed in a positive light, both in it's own right and as a positive alternative to relational aggression...

The ongoing "feminist" mantra of "you go girl" with the culture telling girls that they are both "empowered and entitled" can be a lethal combination. Our society tends to let girls off the hook, and tells them they are not responsible for their actions or society denies that girls and women can engage in violent assaults. This simultaneous denial and acceptance of female violence just feeds into a sense of entitlement for girls as well as a sense that they can do no wrong.

Sometimes, this causes them to go overboard, like in the case described above. Girls are told that it is okay to be angry and physical yet, they do not understand the boundaries of violence. No adult wants to take this on--men are afraid to interact, engage with, or even teach young girls about the boundaries of violence due to fear of sexual harassment or molestation charges and women feel kind of proud that their daughters are so "empowered." So girls do not get the guidance and help that they need in channeling anger and can end up wrecking havoc on others and at the same time, ruin their own lives in the process.

An interesting video and story by Roger Simon on anti-semitism over at Pajamas Media--take a look.

Bromance

Here is an interesting article in the Seattle Times about guys forming deeper bonds due to the delay in marriage (Hat Tip: Instapundit):

In a 2007 episode of NBC's hospital-based comedy "Scrubs," the show's two main characters, J.D. and Turk, break into a musical duet proclaiming their mutual affection. "Guy love. That's all it is," the song goes. "Guy love, he's mine, I'm his. There's nothing gay about it in our eyes."

Turk and J.D. are two straight male doctors who are, without a doubt, in a bromance, a relationship defined as "the complicated love and affection shared by two straight males," according to urbandictionary.com....

Experts say the prevalence of these friendships can in part be explained by the delay in major life milestones. Fifty years ago, a man could graduate from college, get a job and get married all within a couple of months. But today's men are drifting, as opposed to jumping, into the traditional notion of adulthood.

"The transition to adulthood is now taking about a decade longer than it used to," said Michael Kimmel, a sociology professor at Stony Brook University in New York whose upcoming book is called "Guy Land: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men." One set of men Kimmel interviewed for the book were fraternity brothers at Dartmouth College. Following graduation, seven of them squeezed into a two-bedroom apartment in Boston.

No mention of a marriage strike as the reason for this, just that men are delaying adulthood, whatever that means. Oh well, it's nice to have friends along the way.

"People think that if you can bombard people with numbers and jargon, you have more legitimacy"

Sometimes, those numbers and jargon are called facts--something Walter DeKeseredy, a professor of criminology at the University of Ontario Institute of Technology refuses to consider-- when it comes to domestic violence research. In an interesting article in the National Journal, Neil Munro looks at the politics of domestic violence:

Proponents of the rival perspectives have amassed studies and facts to buttress their arguments. Feminist-affiliated groups cite surveys from battered-women's shelters to bolster their claims of male violence; family-conflict advocates and groups of divorced fathers cite data collected in surveys of men and women. The different perspectives "have historically been fueled rather than resolved by research, which has ... generated a variety of findings, some flatly contradictory ... [and has] left little room for cooperation," according to a report by participants in the Wingspread conference.

Advocates on either side charge the other with dishonesty and bad intentions. Murray Straus, a sociology professor at the University of New Hampshire, says that feminist groups deserve credit for launching the campaign against domestic violence. However, they "have created a climate of fear that has inhibited research," he wrote in the July 2007 issue of the European Journal of Criminal Policy and Research.

Straus and like-minded researchers are "advancing a political agenda that supports the goal of fathers' rights groups," responded Walter DeKeseredy, a professor of criminology, justice, and policy studies at the University of Ontario Institute of Technology. "People think if you can bombard people with numbers and jargon, you have more legitimacy, but it is a struggle about whose side you are on -- and our side is on the side of women, and we're proud of it."

So Professor Dekeseredy admits that he is proud of the fact that he overlooks statistics and methodology, which is basically what "numbers and jargon" are--and just sides with whatever studies favor women? What kind of research is that?

Grand Rounds is Up

Cardiologist Dr. Wes is hosting Grand Rounds at his place:

All 36 (or so) posts have been included, and have been assembled by their appropriate cardiovascular term.

So grab a cup of coffee, sit back, relax and enjoy this week's Best of the Medical Blog-o-Sphere!

Go check it out.

How to turn the US into a Wonderland

Pam Meister has an interesting column at Pajama's Media entitled, "Teens who Hate America":

My oldest daughter, a sophomore in high school, recently complained to her father and I about some of her schoolmates’ declarations that they “hate America.”

When I asked if she could elaborate why they would say such a thing, she said she really couldn’t remember because she was so disgusted that she did everything she could to block out the conversation. She also confirmed that she didn’t say anything to them at the time.....

My daughter may not want to know why these kids might hate their own country, but I can make a pretty good guess. Think about it: what would you believe if you were raised on a steady diet about the failings of the dullard in the White House (who was nevertheless crafty enough to “steal” the 2000 election); about our “reduced standing” in the world since he took office; how capitalism is causing the earth to go up in a jolly blaze of global warming; how we are a nation of evil “haves” and powerless “have nots”; how our foreign policy is to blame for 9/11 and the Middle East considering America to be the “Great Satan”; and how the majority of Americans are a bunch of bigots and racists? Add to that the constant barrage of anti-war and anti-America rhetoric from groups like Code Pink and World Can’t Wait, and the complicity in these sentiments by the mainstream media and the entertainment industry — what would you think? After all, if the likes of Bill Maher, Michael Moore, Keith Olbermann, Susan Sarandon, and the brain trust on The View say it’s so, why would a teenager argue?

Funny, if a Democrat gets in the White House next year, my guess is that the US will suddenly become a wonderland where pretty ponies and butterflies live. Luckily, I don't think that all teens are dumb enough to fall for this propaganda.

Can blogging give you a heart attack?

Blogging can be hazardous to your health according to a NYT's article (registration necessary) entitled, "In Web World of 24/7 Stress, Writers Blog Till They Drop" (Hat tip: Protein Wisdom):

Two weeks ago in North Lauderdale, Fla., funeral services were held for Russell Shaw, a prolific blogger on technology subjects who died at 60 of a heart attack. In December, another tech blogger, Marc Orchant, died at 50 of a massive coronary. A third, Om Malik, 41, survived a heart attack in December.

Other bloggers complain of weight loss or gain, sleep disorders, exhaustion and other maladies born of the nonstop strain of producing for a news and information cycle that is as always-on as the Internet....

The pressure even gets to those who work for themselves — and are being well-compensated for it.

“I haven’t died yet,” said Michael Arrington, the founder and co-editor of TechCrunch, a popular technology blog. The site has brought in millions in advertising revenue, but there has been a hefty cost. Mr. Arrington says he has gained 30 pounds in the last three years, developed a severe sleeping disorder and turned his home into an office for him and four employees. “At some point, I’ll have a nervous breakdown and be admitted to the hospital, or something else will happen.”

Funny, I had a heart attack before I started blogging. Now I am fine. Coincidence? I think not. Some bloggers actually see their craft as therapeutic. Perhaps it depends on your mindset. And as I have said before, I think many people who blog don't feel well to begin with. If they did, they might be out doing less sedentary things. So, some, though not all, may come to the keyboard already with health problems.

Update: Ann Althouse has more thoughts on whether or not blogging is a "young man's game."

Charlton Heston Dies at 83

Sadly, I just read that Charlton Heston died last night. I have long admired Heston and his work and was really honored once when he wrote a review of my book, "The Scarred Heart" in the American Rifleman magazine. He will surely be missed.

Update: I keep in my home office a plaque signed by Heston that reminds me of why it is so important for all of us to continue to keep this country free and to fight for second amendment rights. The plaque reads:

So that this nation can long endure, I urge you to follow in the hallowed footsteps of the great disobediences of history that freed exiles, founded religions, defeated tyrants and yes, in the hands of an aroused rabble in arms and a few great men, by God's grace, built this country.

--Charlton Heston, at Harvard Law School, 1999