Sunday, April 08, 2007

At Least Google Listens

I was looking at the CoolTools4Men site and came across this link to an article entitled, "Men talk to Google not girlfriends." CoolTools pointed out that the article was a bit biased against men: "a silly piece, written in a misandric style, but it underlies the trend towards men spending more time interacting with their computers than with women." The article is a little dated, having been written in 2004, yet, it does bring up the interesting point that men seem to turn more to their computer for advice more than their girlfriends:

Men talk to their search engines more than their girlfriends, work colleagues or even their families, research has claimed.

A poll conducted by MSN Search found that search engines are the first port of call for nearly half of men seeking advice. Family are consulted by a third, while partners are the sounding board of choice for only one in four men.

In comparison, the study into gender search patterns reveals that women still opt for more traditional advice options, with one in three rating family as their number one choice for help and information.


Naturally, the article has to have the added twist of dissing men for turning to a search engine rather than a partner:

Male search vanity apparently knows no bounds. Almost a third of men admit to searching for themselves online and awarding themselves an average 80 per cent satisfaction rating for their general searching abilities. By contrast, just over one in five women have searched for their own name.

One in 12 men admitted to looking up ex-partners to uncover what they've been up to since splitting up, compared to just four per cent of women.

A typical male search query uses just two words, compared with three for women. Women are also more patient about investigating different potential routes.


There must be some good reason that men turn to the internet rather than to their girlfriends to get advice. Perhaps Google has the added advantage of actually providing some real advice and listening to a guy's problems without interruption and personal interpretation. Maybe when you balk at being talked at instead of being listened to, the internet provides a good place to go:

MSN Search marketing manager Clare Bolton said: "Search services have become so central to our lives that in many cases they're being treated like trusted friends.

"Men in particular seem to be turning to them like a mate in the pub to give advice, provide entertainment and even help out in rating potential girlfriends."


If men trust Google more than their girlfriend, what does that say about the way they perceive women's listening skills? Perhaps women who complain that their guy spends more time on the computer than he does with them should read Warren Farrell's Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say: Destroying Myths, Creating Love. It couldn't hurt and it might teach a girlfriend the listening skills she needs to see her guy's Google searches for advice become a thing of the past, or at least recede into the background.

73 Comments:

Anonymous JKB said...

The problem may be the age old complaint about men "helping" when women have a problem. Men seek solutions, women seek empathy. Girlfriends don't offer solutions, Google does. Girlfriends offer consolation that men take as patronizing, Google offers information that can be used to overcome the problem. Girlfriends say "It's okay," Google gives you options for how to fix it.

10:56 PM, April 08, 2007  
Blogger DRJ said...

I agree with JKB. In addition, I think men are reluctant to confide in women because women are more likely to reveal the confidence to selected friends and family.

11:34 PM, April 08, 2007  
Blogger Passionate Man said...

I agree with jkb. Women don't want solutions. Men do. Google is where you find the solution someone else has found. It's a lot faster and efficient than polling a bunch of people who probably don't know the answer. After all, if you have a plumbing question and Uncle Joe is a plumber you respect, you'd go to him. If he's not, you would'nt bother asking him...you'd go online and find the website of the plumber who was generous enough to post on the question and then you'd be done with it.

Women don't care about solutions...they just want to whine to anyone who will listen.

11:37 PM, April 08, 2007  
Blogger Joe said...

This underlying implication is that men are now seeking less advice from their significant others. Not only is this utter rubbish, I've observed the opposite. My father didn't ask my mother about shit. This was typical of my dad's peers. But, BUT, when they did, it was REALLY important (not just emoting for the sake of emoting crap.)

1:40 AM, April 09, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The last time I brought up a relationship issue with my wife, she got nearly hysterical. Looking online hasn't really helped, but ast least it didn't make me feel like an ass.

1:42 AM, April 09, 2007  
Anonymous Mad William Flint said...

These things really seem orthogonal to me. If I want a piece of information, such as an answer to a question or quandry, I'm going to go to the source most likely to provide me with an accurate answer for a minimum amount of work.

Intimacy doesn't enter in to it.

If a woman wants me to make a gesture of asking her... I don't really know what to say to that.


The notion that I somehow anthropomorphize Google and compare it on an emotional level with people is really quite stupid.

Besides, it hates it when I do that

2:23 AM, April 09, 2007  
Blogger jw said...

It's rare to find an article from the press which does not diss men: Misandry is the norm, the press IS misandry.

For the most part, I agree with jkb, a man Googles a topic because that is where he will find solutions. There's also the very real problem of anonymous 1:42 which many men face: For some women these days 'the man is wrong' defines all of their relationship skill set.

3:59 AM, April 09, 2007  
Anonymous Paul Parmenter said...

Just a few comments made so far, but they seem to say it all.

When men have a problem they simply want an answer that fixes it so they can move on. They don't want the question used as an excuse to wallow in an emotion-fest that dances round and round the problem for ever, bringing up irrelevant issues that just obscure the real point. Yet sadly that is too often where involving women drags us.

Google doesn't answer back, doesn't blame us, doesn't use our question as an excuse to tell us everything that is wrong with us, and won't inform the rest of the world how stupid we are because we don't know the answer. That's why Google is so often better than a woman.

Any more daft questions?

5:14 AM, April 09, 2007  
Blogger Oligonicella said...

It's not necessarily vanity to want to know if search engines turn up your name, or rather, in what contexts. Perhaps the author inlaid a bit of the reason they searched?

"If men trust Google more than their girlfriend, what does that say about the way they perceive women's listening skills?"

I don't think men trust Google any more than you trust your screwdriver. They use it as a tool. Tools get used. If men found discussing things useful with women, they'd do that more.

8:05 AM, April 09, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The study was conducted by MSN Search, which makes me a bit suspicious.

If the average man and the average woman are searching for different information, you might expect them to follow different search stratergies.

It looks like they picked the right results from the poll, and then published that.

8:38 AM, April 09, 2007  
Anonymous anonymom said...

"When men have a problem they simply want an answer that fixes it so they can move on." This is true. It is also true that women want an answer that fixes things. The thing is that women ALSO want to talk about it with someone without the someone giving The Answer. The men I know who dislike "just talking" are sometimes upset because I gave her the answer--what more does she want? We don't want the answer from our boyfriends! We can get that from Google.

8:51 AM, April 09, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Update: Having looked at that site I was amused by the article complaining about Chivalry dying.

Equality and chivalry would seem to be logically incompatible.

8:53 AM, April 09, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon 8:53.

Women want equality but they also want preferment in several different areas. You cannot be equal and not equal at the same time. If I want to answer a question about using a certain software feature I am not going to ask my girlfriend. I will search for it. I do not see why men's "fix-it" attitude is a problem. It's how things get done. You accomplish the task and move on not wallow in it.

9:14 AM, April 09, 2007  
Anonymous Cousin Dave said...

So I think the whole thing is kind of silly. It's like comparing my wife to an encyclopedia -- it's a non sequiteur. It would be silly for me to go ask her what the proper ratio is for mixing mortar for laying glass block, or how to compensate an externally compensated op-amp. It's the same for her; she isn't going to come ask me what the proper color shades are for an authentic recreation of an Art Deco bedroom. She has books for that.

I am darn straight going to consult her on anything that effects us. If I'm considering, say, taking a new job, I would definitely go to her for advice. Of course, I might use Google too, but for different purposes: to find out how the company compares in pay to the average for that line of business, or to find out what its benefits package consists of. The two things just aren't comparable.

BTW, I know there are a lot of guys out there who can't consult their wives or girlfriends on important things like job changes, without it becoming merely an excuse for their SOs to browbeat them. I'm fortunate that way; my wife is a lot more understanding of the give-and-take in a relationship. She works in a field populated mostly by women, and she's told me some horror stories about how some of the women she works with are worse-than-clueless in relationships.

9:48 AM, April 09, 2007  
Anonymous Viola Jaynes said...

This is again an interesting post about how different men and women can be. I have to agree that women don't just look for an "answer"...we like talking about things. Our men, on the other hand like solutions to issues. I think both are valid and needed.

9:50 AM, April 09, 2007  
Anonymous johnmc said...

In society men are rewarded for divining solutions and not fretting over relationships. Its the age old situation, if your sink is stopped up, and you ask the man of the house to solve it do you feel better than a wrench is in his hand or the phone?

I bet if you queried men as to how the view the internet, most I would hazard they treat as a tool like any powersaw or plane. It is something to be used to solve a problem.

Personally I don't use the internet for affirmation, never have.

10:41 AM, April 09, 2007  
Blogger Peregrine John said...

Looking to the 'net for affirmation? Come on. They're just making things up, now.

10:54 AM, April 09, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

actually men don't talk to google... the perform an information search... if I want 100 pieces of information about the prostate, why would I ask frineds or family, who are likely to give a few opinions, and no more. Dished up with those opinions will be various other questions back, and it turns into a cumbersome situation, instead of a quick set of information. As for men looking themselves up, what percentage of that is a security excercise to find out if there are any personal information leaks? "one in 12 men versus 4% of women"? Er, why not say 8% of men? I suppose it wouldn't sound as good/bad or something...

Flip side of the coin is that this was done years ago, an ice age in internet time... has anything changed? Perhaps... except for having to explain in detail WHY you want to know something if you ask your girlfriend... for example the difference between your meaning of the word "fine" and her meaning...

11:00 AM, April 09, 2007  
Anonymous Bugs said...

I think this survey is crap.

Having said that, I think that in general, men like to feel competent, able to handle whatever situation comes up. Asking their SO's - or anyone - for advice might make some men feel less competent. Google is a safer option: a search engine doesn't know you don't know how to do something.

Mostly, though, I agree that it's a matter of efficiency. You need info, Google has it, and there you go.

As far as communication styles go, when I listen to men's discussions a good many of them seem to be along the lines of "I know more about this subject than you do." They don't seem to share their knowledge as much as show it off. Maybe women involved in this kind of discussion feel the man is trying to dominate them by making them feel ignorant. Normal for men, uncomfortable for women.

Women's conversations can involve one-upmanship, too - mostly over who deserves the most sympathy for whatever emotional hurt they've been through. To men, this often seems to go on far longer than it needs to. It's like "Ok, you win, you're pathetic. Let's have a hug and move on."

I think men and women in general understand each other well enough to work around these differences. Without experts and surveys, we wouldn't know there was a problem.

11:11 AM, April 09, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know that the vanity search is necessarily vain: I use it periodically (particularly when I'm working on a job application) to make sure my name isn't popping up in some context that's likely to cause me problems with a prospective employer. I assume, as I think a lot of people do, that they'll Google me right off, and I need to know what's going to pop up - it may well be someone else's folly that I have to answer for.

11:12 AM, April 09, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WARNING:
If you send a letter to the editor of an on-line publication, newspaper, magazine, etc., be advised that your opinions may be posted aloing with your name, and that they may be there for some time to come.

I speak from experience...

Rusty.

11:43 AM, April 09, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello,

Perhaps the reason men turn to a search engine is because, when they were young, everytime they asked their mother a question she would tell them to "Go look it up at the Library"...

That's MY experience in the matter.

12:46 PM, April 09, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

RE: Women's Listening Skills -- The times I've tried to share my feelings about something I was worried or uncertain about, she tended to take over the conversation by becoming more emotional about the issue than I was. What started as my reaching out for help and comfort from her turned into me trying to console her instead. If I didn't try and console her, then I was accused of "not caring."

I felt robbed -- it wasn't worth the effort to try and share.

That soon turned into "Why don't you talk to me?" Because I don't like being trampled, and that left me with no way get any comfort from her about anything the least bit emotional.

Chuck

12:51 PM, April 09, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I asked my girlfriend why a Humboldt squid was named a Humboldt squid. She did not know.

I asked her where I could find a Humboldt squid. She did not know.

I asked her what a Humboldt squid likes to eat. She did not know.

I asked her how long a Humboldt squid lived. She did not know AND she became somewhat more than a little put out that I kept asking her questions about something that she neither knew nor cared about.

Oddly enough, ye olde interweb search engine "knew" all of the answers to my questions.

This is easily summed up with Robert Heinlein's story about the farmer who tried to teach his pig how to sing.

The story? Ask your wife. Or, save a step and go look it up on the innerweb.

12:59 PM, April 09, 2007  
Blogger poorsingledad said...

robert hillman

fourty year old single man in ontario canada

raised four children alone in poverty for the last 12 years

want a wife i dont want to talk to google
I want to talk with a woman that loves me

if you have some ablilty to help
us financially

anyone thats reading this
then for the love of god
please help us

robert hillman
R R # 2 Monkton Ontario
canada
N0K1P0

children are alisha arieal amber matthew

1:07 PM, April 09, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A poll conducted by MSN Search found that search engines are the first port of call for nearly half of men seeking advice.

This isn't wholly unexpected behavior in the species whose males, I understand, used to roam the largest territories of any predatory species. When men need something, their first thought seems to be to hunt it down.

Kralizec

1:21 PM, April 09, 2007  
Blogger Brian Dunbar said...

men seem to turn more to their comtputer for advice more than their girlfriends:

Advice about .. what? The article simply doesn't say. Me .. if I needed to know 'how-to' drop a transmission .. ya I'll go to Google first. My wife is a woman of many talents but auto repair ain't one of them.

1:40 PM, April 09, 2007  
Blogger Pyrthroes said...

Encountering a timely post, from the deliquescence of today's Episcopal Church to baselines for measuring the terrestrial height of Everest, I may forward it to my active, educated wife of 25 years. Invariably, she erases it unread. Whether because it comes through me, or for lack of intellectual curiousity, or --as some would have it-- because text messages represent impersonal, non-fuzzy collations of "mere words", the result's the same: She prefers literalism to abstraction, and without a face and voice to make things "real", she cannot rationally engage a topic-- any topic.

Thus, women can't read maps. When Darwin intelligently designed Nature's Way, he ensured that females-of-the-species knew one thing and did it well (how to reproduce), while males died young competing for female favors, altruistically defending their in-group's corporate survival ("life after death", the ultimate abstraction). Our weapons are a hand, an eye, a Blade of Grass... whereby ladies fair repose safe-kept, binding their foredoomed Warriors of Reality to cooing Little Ones.

Women subliminally know better than to trifle with Search Engines (not "search organisms"-- note the terminology.) Deep down, like my beloved wife they perceive Google as a threatening weapon-of-rationality, not a plaything or a tool. Facts are dangerous! Who knows what horrors lurk in cyberspace, forcibly refuting the Sisters' blinkered preconceptions-- how does a wordless femme subdue some syllogistic hoplite brandishing Google as his Sword of Wit?

1:53 PM, April 09, 2007  
Blogger Duck said...

In addition, I think men are reluctant to confide in women because women are more likely to reveal the confidence to selected friends and family.

I second this. I went into my marriage thinking that what passed between me and my spouse stayed within the relationship. I thought of the relationship as a sort of firewall, a safe place to express feelings and such. I found out to my dismay that women cannot keep anything about themselves secret from their network of female friends. You marry a woman, you marry her network. She will compare your behavior to the behavior of her friends husbands and you will hear about it if you fall short of what other men do for their spouses.

Wassup with that?

2:00 PM, April 09, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Duck,
I will not marry a woman who can't keep secrets.

Yes, I know this cuts down the field of possibilities quite a bit. The security is worth it.

2:11 PM, April 09, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

everyone keeps secrets, naturlly. all that changes is what is defined as a secret...

to keep a secret is to NEVER tell anyone.

so, assume that nothing is secret, and be happy...

3:15 PM, April 09, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In one of my wife's gender books is the story of a woman who was replacing her car. She asked her boyfriend, who got from her all her requirements for a car, and spent a week or so researching it. He told her which car most closely fitted her requirements. A couple weeks later she showed up excitedly, ready to take for a ride in her new car. She had asked all her friends, and come up with this one, which was wholly different from what his research had found.

He dumped her.

When you tell this story in a group of men, they all nod, once, and move on with the conversation. OF COURSE he dumped her. Tell it in a group of women, and they are outraged, fuss about his immaturity, shallowness, or just express bafflement: but why? Why dump her?

It's probably a mistake to claim men are unsubtle, but it is a mistake made by many women.

7:47 PM, April 09, 2007  
Blogger Dupa Jasia said...

He nodded familiarly to people as he met them, and saw not the look of amusement which succeeded astonishment upon ibuprofen the various faces.. At last he found codeine one, and was driven in it to Mr.. And at home--outside--er--in the phentermine road...

8:45 PM, April 09, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ruh Roh.
As long as he's playing online, and not with that blonded bartender, eh Dr.?

10:05 PM, April 09, 2007  
Blogger Fen said...

Good comments above, but I would add:

Men are more visual, women more auditory. For instance, I could sit and read Althouse/Helen/Malkin for hours, but would lose interest during an extended conversation [no offense].

We just don't like to talk as much. I think[?] women have a more sophisticated auditory "palate" than we do, picking up more tone and inflection. So its like offering a fine wine to someone who can't appreciate it.

1:45 AM, April 10, 2007  
Blogger Mercurior said...

women generally have a greater facility with sub texts on conversations, but men only need a grunt or a nod to say sentences.

how many times have you been in a bar and somethings happened and you just looked at the other man, and you can hear a conversation, even though no words pass, or we put a lot of ideas into one sentence.

if you think about it, it makes sense, man was a hunter in the dim and distant times, and so had to rely on no verbal clues to be successful hunters, women talked and passed on the information as they were generally gatherers (thats why women have an extra colour receptor in their eyes).

3:57 AM, April 10, 2007  
Blogger jw said...

One thing MUST be added to the discussion of men / women: We are not all the same!

The 10% of men who are highly sensitive behave and have wants which are far closer to the behavior/wants of the average woman than the average man; at least as far as how they handle information goes.

The best way to look at it is the odds based view. There are a set of odds which say that so many men behave in the classical male way and the same for women. Plus, a percentage of men behave in the classical female way, same reverse applies to soem women.

We can argue about the exact numbers in those odds sets! And there are some great arguments going on about those numbers! Yet, we must admit that not all men reject talking about the information they want as not all woman want to talk.

4:19 AM, April 10, 2007  
Blogger jw said...

anonymous 12:51 ... Chuck: Ah now! I've had the same experience and many times.

I'm worried about something, so I start to talk about it with her and I end up having to spend all of the time comforting her. I feel robbed, as do you.

I'd say that is common for first world cultures. Women here have never been taught that males COULD have feelings which need to be listened to and supported, so many never learn to listen to and support their man.

4:28 AM, April 10, 2007  
Blogger Michele said...

The deal is that my husband worries about the magazine release on his new pistol, or the latest problem with some computer application at work. IM and message boards are way more help than me with that.

I also consult the web before I go to him for advice.

It would take a lot of educating and catching up for either of us to understand each other's daily minor stresses.

8:17 AM, April 10, 2007  
Blogger Oligonicella said...

mercurior:

Women (as in all) don't have an extra receptor. Only some 10% do. It's a genetic duplication of the green opsin gene.

generally -- women should not mistake reading in subtext with ferreting out subtext.

9:14 AM, April 10, 2007  
Blogger Peregrine John said...

michele is wise. pyrthroes is bloody hilarious. And there's an anonymous post (7:47) that is not only troll-free, but quotable! This week is looking up.

10:24 AM, April 10, 2007  
Anonymous Stephen said...

Contrary to what some of the comments might suggest, the writers of the article aren't talking about instances of "why the Humboldt squid is named Humboldt", how to configure electrical circuits, or solve software problems. It references the increasing number of people (perhaps men moreso than women) that turn to the internet for validation, affirmation, or advice on actions or sentiments.

While the internet is the first place I turn to look up tips for car repair or specs/reviews on consumer products, last week I found myself sitting in front of Google querying "annoying windchimes". Yes, it was 1:00 am, and my neighbor had recently put up windchimes, 20 feet upwind of my bedroom window. The (apparently out-of-tune) chimes had been increasingly getting under my skin for the better part of three hours, and yes I used Google to find a discussion thread concerning whether hanging windchimes within the earshot of others was rude, and whether being annoyed by them was unreasonable. About 8/10's of the respondents considered windhcimes annoying. Now I'm not currently in a relationship, but I recognize the possibility that I could have been dating someone who falls into camp the other 2/10, who felt that my annoyance was unreasonable. Do I want my annoyance of the chimes to be compounded by someone's disapproval of my reaction?

Or take, perhaps, my tendency to tip 15-20%, but feeling uneasy leaving a buck or so for a $7 meal. Having dated women who had previously held waitstaffing jobs, do I want to risk being lectured for being stingy for not leaving a 30-40% tip? No. I want to compare my sentiments and actions with those of others, without the drama or judgement.

Or consider that night after a breakup, when I opened my browser that has Google as the home page, my mind wandering as I stared blankly in the query box, wondering "what the hell did I do wrong?", and ever so briefly feeling compelled to enter that in the box... before shaking my head clear, reminding myself that Google will cannot provide the answer to life's problems, and carrying on with the task at hand.

I think this says plenty of our culture, whether it concerns our increasing dependence search engines for everyday tasks, the role of online communities, or whether connections are actually made inchat rooms. Does it reflect fear of real intimacy, or an apprehension to open ourselves to direct and personal criticism? Perhaps. With men moreso than women? Maybe. But it's not necessarily a bad thing.

The judgemental tone of the article and bemoaning conclusion that men may be doing this more than women may indeed be the very reason why men (or any segment of the population) would turn to anonymous internet inquiries in the first place.

10:52 AM, April 10, 2007  
Blogger Bruce Hayden said...

I would commend to all who haven't read them, the books of Deborah Tannen on the different linguistics between the two sexes.

In short, males tend to use language to communicate information. Females of course use it for that, but also to express emotion, and most importantly, to bond.

So, when a typical male tries to talk about this sort of thing with his female mate, he views it as problem solving and is trying to communicate information. But she sees it as primarily as a bonding exchange. Of course, that just gets in the way of his problem solving, so he turns to Google which isn't going to read more into his communications than he intended.

11:30 AM, April 10, 2007  
Anonymous Jim said...

"In short, males tend to use language to communicate information. Females of course use it for that, but also to express emotion, and most importantly, to bond. "

This has been studied a fair bit and it depends a lot on specific cultures - for instance Arab men may do a lot more of this bonding talk than say, Swedish women. This is something they teach American men deploying to the Middle East for instance, along with that business about holding hands.

Some languages require as part of their grammars that speakers specify their social relationship with the person they are taklking to, men as well as women.

Also, a lot of men use passing information talk to bond - who really wants talks about cars or sports to pass actual, useful information?

1:54 PM, April 10, 2007  
Anonymous Bugs said...

I love Google

I love my wife.

And how long does a Humboldt squid live?

2:01 PM, April 10, 2007  
Blogger Mindsteps said...

Some researchers suggest that there are some neuroanatomical distinctions between the brains of men and women that may contribute to sex differences in communication style. See for example,
N. Goldenfeld, S. Baron-Cohen and S. Wheelwright, (2006) Empathizing and systemizing in males, females and autism. Clinical Neuropsychiatry 2(6).

Here's a link to the article:

http://www.autismresearchcentre.com/docs/papers/2006_Goldenfeld_etal_ClinicalNeuro.pdf

2:02 PM, April 10, 2007  
Anonymous anonymom said...

About a year. I googled.

I did not google anything about Deborah Tannen, fascinating though her books may be. I like a bit of mystery in my relationships.

2:50 PM, April 10, 2007  
Anonymous nofixedabode said...

From the WSJ: Career advice from your significant other is worth what you pay for it

http://lifetwo.com/production/node/20070328-wsj-career-advice-from-your-significant-other-is-worth-what-you-pay-for-it

Personal observations: 1) Advice from a girlfriend/wife carries this baggage: How do you reject it? You can't tell her that her advice is silly, wrongheaded, or that she just plan misunderstands the situation. Best not to go there to begin with.

2) Asking advice is a sign of weakness. Forget all the "sensitive new-age guy" crap, the one thing women WILL NOT TOLERATE in their man is any sign of weakness. Nor do they want to hear about your fears or feelings. She will hold you in the bitterest contempt forever after.

3) My computer understands me. My computer loves me. And not once has my computer questioned either my sincerity or my masculinity because I asked a question on Google!

9:11 PM, April 10, 2007  
Blogger jw said...

nofixedabode: While what you speak of is true for some women, I wouldn't take it beyond that ... some women refuse to allow that their huband could have a weakness. Thus, a minority of women who have a psycho-social sickness within their own mind. Nothing more than that.

4:01 AM, April 11, 2007  
Blogger Mercurior said...

a good article about this subject

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/main.jhtml?view=DETAILS&grid=P8&targetRule=10&xml=/health/2005/07/12/hadam12.xml


Men and women act differently because their brains are built differently, says Chloe Rhodes

The physical differences between men and women have long been understood, and can be traced directly to our primeval roles as hunters and child-bearers. But until recently, the many behavioural differences between have perplexed us.


Like apples and oranges? Women talk about their problems; men think about theirs
So what is it that makes women want to chat about the events of their day while men would rather reflect on theirs in silence? Why do men generally gravitate to computer and sports magazines while women prefer gossip and relationship glossies? And why do men and women often seem to want such different things from their relationships with each other?

(how do you explain colour schemes like taupe, chocolate, beige, if women cant see more colours, and dont get me started on white paint, white with a hint of rose (red), a hint of apple (green) etc)

4:21 AM, April 11, 2007  
Anonymous Mario said...

"Asking advice is a sign of weakness. Forget all the 'sensitive new-age guy' crap, the one thing women WILL NOT TOLERATE in their man is any sign of weakness. Nor do they want to hear about your fears or feelings. She will hold you in the bitterest contempt forever after."

What nofixedabode said is very true. Try "opening up" with a women with whom you have a romantic relationship and two or three days later she will throw your doubts or fears back in your face.

It's really sad to say this, but if you show fear or doubt, they freak -- and call into question your manhood.

3:17 PM, April 11, 2007  
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