Amy Alkon:
After reading Amy's post, I really think that the woman in question needs to get the book Stop Calling Him Honey and Start Having Sex: How Changing Your Everyday Habits Will Make You Hot for Each Other All Over Again.
The authors would certainly set her straight.
She does these icky things like leaving the bathroom door open when she's taking a poop, picks her zits to the point that they're open sores, and cuts a fart and then comes to bed -- and expects the guy to be all sexed up for her.
Yeah, I know -- ick. ....
The question is, have any of you guys had any luck communicating to a woman under similar circumstances that she needs to take care of herself and not show all in order to be attractive to you?
After reading Amy's post, I really think that the woman in question needs to get the book Stop Calling Him Honey and Start Having Sex: How Changing Your Everyday Habits Will Make You Hot for Each Other All Over Again.
The authors would certainly set her straight.
posted by Helen at 11:38 AM
13 Comments:
I really don't get the vehement criticism of the book that's going around. It's pretty simple suggestions that involve rehumanizing your partner and conducting yourself in a more dignified manner. (Would be curious what Athol Kay had to say about it.)
If that doesn't do it for you, go ahead and find something else, more power to you. But the fury with which people dismiss the suggestions, in the anecdotal "I call my husband honey and we still do it so YOU'RE WRONG!!!" kind of way is just nuts.
Some people have the "we share everything including our faults" attitude, which is fine if it works for you, but still doesn't mean that watching your partner pee is sexy.
Sounds like the female you are talking about here was the only girl in a hosehold full of males growing up.
Sounds like the female you are talking about here was the only girl in a hosehold full of males growing up.
Neither of my 2 brothers or myself, nor my 2 sons, poop(ed) with the bathroom door open, picked zits until they're open sores. As far as farting before going to bed and wanting sex, I have generally avoided it but can't speak for the others although we all try to look and smell as good as possible.
If a person has to have the need for these simple courtesies explained to them, they probably don't/won't get it. I'd give him/her one shot and dump them if they continue the bad behavior.
Everyone has their limits on decorum, but aggravating wounds is kinda mentally unhealthy.
As far as farts, there are those whose time has come and nothing will prevent them. The only thing you can do is laugh at yourself.
Crapping without the door is for camping.
don`t let girls play hockey.
"The question is, have any of you guys had any luck communicating to a woman under similar circumstances that she needs to take care of herself and not show all in order to be attractive to you?"
I didn't even try. That behavior reflects what you were taught. By this point, it's probably like personality dna. You may be able to change it, but it would take a heroic effort on both sides (the coach and the coachee). Best to part peacefully and seek out a more compatible partner. Applies to to the chicks as well.
And why do we say "take a poop"? Shouldn't it be "leave a poop"?
Oh, wait, I guess in this context "poop" is a verb and not a noun. So why not just "... leaving the bathroom door open when she poops"?
We "take a bath" but we "bathe" so maybe "poope"?
Greetings, Dr. Helen...what a nice surprise to pop by and see the link to this piece. I find it enormously hostile, disagreeable and disrespectful to behave this way to a partner who finds it (understandably disgusting).
Hi Amy,
You always have some provocative posts so link to! I think that people have different views of what is disgusting but if your partner doesn't like it, I suppose one should change their behavior. Not to do so is disrespectful.
Amy: Those that develop their etiquette skillset in a wealthy educated polite family may have vastly different ideas on what personal acts are permissible to share with family members than those that grow up in large families in tiny homes where there might be 10 people or more sharing one tiny bathroom, and several people in each bedroom. What might be shocking to one person is normal behavior to another.
My wife, fortunately, ever does anything with the bathroom door open.
However, before we were married, she'd always take a shower before bed. Now, she likes to climb into bed and mention she didn't shower that day. I'm not stupid, it's intended to be husband repellent, the preemptive rejection. It's quite annoying.
I wish people would be honest about their sexual intentions before someone is committed for life and locked into alimony and child support.
@Cham
Regardless of one's economic history, I fail to see how dropping a load in the company of one's spouse should be considered normal behavior. I think both spouses should do their best to avoid being a source of odor to their spouse.
Just to let you men know how INSANE western women are now.
During the final days of my marriage my wife accused me of 'you are not trustworthy'.
PN: "Really? You have known me for 32 years, you have NEVER known me to lie to you because I never have, yet you can't trust me. How long will I have to be honest to you before you trust me? 40 Years? 50 Years? 60 Years?"
Ex: "You lie to me by omission. There are things you do you don't tell me about!!" (screaming hysterically by this stage)
PN: Sure there are. When I have a shit I don't tell you about it because I think that it is not something you need to know about!!
Ex: SEE!!! YOU LIE BY OMISSION because you don't tell me about what your shit looks like!!!
And she actually said it like she had triumphantly won the argument.
Trust me. I am MUCH better off single! LOL!!
As Chris Rock says. Men are at a disadvantage in arguing with a woman because we have a need for the argument to make sense.
What this woman does is no surprise to me. Western women are horrible people in the main. Women in the UK regularly take a piss in the beer garden when the toilet is not 10 meters away because "men have always done this why can't women". Um..because men have penises and women don't? And we dont have to drop our pants and squat to take a piss?
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