I saw a promo for a show on Oprah that has 200 men on speaking about sexual abuse and a reader (thanks) just reminded me of it with a link to this post:
I didn't see the show but wonder if Oprah or the men had anything to say about the women who abused them or if they even had boys and men who were abused by women?
Oprah Winfrey dared speak the truth of her sexual abuse many years ago, giving millions of women permission to acknowledge their abuse. Today (Nov. 5) and next Friday (Nov. 12), Oprah has chosen to join forces with Tyler Perry to open doors for another huge group who need understanding and healing for the sexual abuse they've suffered: men. I honor the bravery and genius of Oprah and Tyler, who both dared to dream that they could help men heal by creating a safe enough place to tell their stories.
I didn't see the show but wonder if Oprah or the men had anything to say about the women who abused them or if they even had boys and men who were abused by women?
Labels: sex
posted by Helen at 9:25 AM
22 Comments:
Didn't see it. I never cared for her, but occasionally watched (if I was sick or something). The most memorable moment was on a show talking about how hard current American women have it, which in itself made me chuckle. Sinbad the comedian was on and at one point he stated that "Men have it hard too", at which point he was booed by the entire audience.
Again, didn't see it, but if it was adequately covered at all, it would be a very small start at undoing the decades of damaging shit she has produced.
There are a few enabling factors for women that abuse men:
1. Their presumption of innocence
2. Their presumption of weaknesses
3. Lack of empathy for their victims
4. Propensity to turn their abuse into jokes
5. Our tendency to support women against men based solely on their gender.
Their supposed weakness is often more than compensated for by third parties.
I almost forgot:
6. Pro female and misandric laws and enforcement of laws by our government.
The little bit I saw was well done. She did a good thing there.
I had a Friday off a couple of weeks ago as I thought we were goiong to move that next Saturday when I set my schedule. Well, the move got postponed so I spent Friday during working hours at various shops picking up stuff fpr the house and the triplets birthday.
I was almost the only male customer I saw all day.
I think I saw two retired guys, a couple of guys in their work uniforms, and that was it.
"Wow, all these women shoppers really have it tough while some man earns the money at work" was what I thought. I know that is not strictly accurate, but the bottom line is it was the women out shopping while the men worked.
Trey
I never watch Oprah. I apologize for the imagery, but I'd rather rip out my own eyes with salad forks than watch that hideous, vapid cow.
On the topic, I read Kathleen Parker's book "Save the Males" and couldn't read past chapter 7. Most depressing book I ever read in my life. Any woman that thinks life as a man in contemporary America is just a joyride should read that book. Also, "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert A. Glover, which I'm reading now. Also addresses how life as a man in western society can be an exercise in getting your head completely f'ed up.
Just my 2 cents. You may now amble about the cabin.
The one thing that wasn't stressed, really, it was glossed over, was that the majority of those men she had on the show, and the majority of abuse of children, is perpetrated by women.
Funny that didn't make the final cut.
Exactly!!!! My good guess is no. A woman responsible for abuse? Can't be. NOT!!!!
Guys, my understanding of the statistics is that most sexual abuse is committed by men. Most neglect and murder of children is committed by women. Neglect is just a nice word for passive abuse perpetrated by witholding things from the children. That is more commonly perpetrated by women. But women kill most of the children that are killed even without considering abortion. Most of the sexual abuse committed on boys is by men who like to have sex with boys. The sick bastards.
Trey
Most child sexual abuse is committed by men; studies show that women commit 14% to 40% of offenses reported against boys and 6% of offenses reported against girls.
Trey,
that is from Wikipedia. I know, not exactly a great source, but that pretty much matches up with other sources. so 20-46% by women? That doesn't seem insignificant, yet it isn't mentioned in the Oprah piece. She still seems unable to blame women for any ills. She's extremely misandrist, and while this is a good thing, she still paints all evil as perpetrated by men.
For Oprah to even acknowledge male victims is a huge step in the right direction. But no, I didn't see it. Even so, I'm glad she did it, just as I was glad when Tyra Banks did an episode on male victims of domestic violence and even had some of the female batterers on the show. She wasn't nice or sympathetic to the women who abused their men, either, which was a real surprise.
Steven, that sounds about right, though the sexual abuser percentage that women perp on girls seems low to me. I completely agree that 40% should not be ignored, but then, none of it should be ignored! I am sure you agree, but I am not that interested in the gender aspects of the perps, I work on helping the survivors feel and do better.
Trey
What about violent, other-than-sexual physical abuse perpetrated by women? Or does it only have to have a genital component for Oprah et al to be outraged?
Anne, my understanding is that men perpetrate more violence on children, but women commit most of the neglect and are responsible for 60% of the deaths of children. Having said that, the worst abuse I know of was perpetrated upon the children by their mother.
Trey
I can't cite my sources right off the bat, but I have done some research on the topic of child abuse, and women are significantly more likely to be the perpetrators of what a social worker would classify as "child abuse."
The media plays up every case where some dirtbag guy fondles or rapes a kid, but when it comes to physical violence, women take the gold medal of child abuse. They also kill their own children far more often than do men.
"Maternal instinct" is NOT an instinct.
"You can look it up." --Susan Sarandon, in Bull Durham
I think part of the schizophrenia in dealing with sexual abuse of boys by women is how our culture has said that it is "good and liberating" for women to indulge themselves "like men" sexually. Therefore, if a woman sleeps around, it's ok. If she sleeps with a boy, well some men do that too with teenage girls and she's just a victim of the patriarchy or it's ok because "he's a boy" (and female sexual express is never wrong).
Mike, there is also that many perhaps most teenage boys relish the idea of sexual contact at all! So they are in a sense willing participants. At the same time, they are too young to give informed consent because they are not mature enough to understand the ramifications and consequences of having sex with an adult when they are teens.
And it can really mess with their heads.
And some nutjob so called feminists would say that a boy cannot be abused because he is benefits from patriarchy. You know, this is the same sort of lie that is made about how minorities cannot be racist.
Trey
Just like there are many teenage boys who relish the idea of sexual contact, there are many teenage girls who would relish sexual contact. Any guy who has sex with such a girl does not get away scot free the way women get away after having sex with boys.
and if i`m not mistaken, the vagina monologues is, in some ways, lesbian seduction (rape.) prettied up as emancipation.
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Speaking of sexual abuse and rape and whatnot, anyone care to take a stab at guessing how many years this woman won't spend behind bars because she's not being charged with rape?
J. Bowen, I think she should spend time behind bars for lack of cleanliness.
Trey
Or attempted assault with a deadly vulva.
Trey
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