Monday, January 01, 2007

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to all my readers and others out there surfing the internet. I typically don't make any New Year's resolutions. No, I don't think I am fine the way I am as much as I sort of evaluate any changes I need to make all year long and try to make changes or adjustments as the year goes by rather than all at once. However, this year, I do have a resolution I want to try and keep--to have a thicker skin and not let people or their comments bother me. I am fairly imperturbable when it comes to personal insults or criticisms but there are times when I realize that I am letting people get to me more than I should. I hope that this year, I can actually learn to ignore people's insults completely--yet at the same time, I want to take constructive well-meaning and well thought out criticism to heart. Thanks to all the trolls who have come to this blog in the past year and helped me learn to work on my tolerance of stupidity and classlessness. You can continue to be part of my psychological growth project in the coming year if you wish or you can decline to participate in my psychological health by going elsewhere.

What about you, do you make any New Year's resolutions? If so, do you actually keep them?

32 Comments:

Blogger tomcal said...

I practice every day by not letting hostile drivers get to me. I treat them just like a rock or a sheet of ice or any other road hazard; like livestock. If a cow wanders across the road in front of me, it may be doing it just to piss me off, thinking in its cow brain, "that guy looks like he's in a hurry, so I'm going to slow him down"; but it'll never get my goat.

Jerks are always out there, millions of them, right now; they are a fact of life.

You aren't upset by the ones you never cross paths with, are you?

12:04 PM, January 01, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good for you. I think part of the reason I stopped blogging is because of my overreaction to the trolls, and I'm with you that it's time to get over it. So, I was inspired to comment over on my old blog. No, I'm not resolving to blog more, but we'll see what happens!

12:06 PM, January 01, 2007  
Blogger SFN said...

Happy new year!

I never make resolutions just because it's a certain time of year. But I'm pretty much constantly setting goals and (hopefully) adjusting them upwards.

12:55 PM, January 01, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to admit the trolls get to me, but on the other hand when we went to Kauai I learned to drive "island time," and that has made a big difference in my life. I've learned to relax and enjoy life's little pleasures. No sense getting upset with the piddly stuff.

1:04 PM, January 01, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Dr. Helen:

I teach teenagers in college, so I understand the weird "passive-aggressive" mindset you have experienced from your Army of Trolls. It is easy to never complain about a class to a professor, and then write the most appalling and childish material on evaluations---because there is no retribution or responsibility.

The same thing is true of the trolls. The goal is to get people upset. Nothing more, and nothing less.

In a couple of threads here, I read one commenter chastising another for using very rude language---the rude commenter replied that the first commenter should "toughen up" and that great people spoke in such classless and vulgar ways all the time. After all, the vulgarity didn't not take away from the strength of the argument.

Reading it, I wondered how the second commenter would respond if someone wrote nasty vulgar things about an identity group of which the second commenter approved? Say, people of African-American descent. Or Muslims.

I doubt that the second commenter would have "toughened up." Instead, we would all be treated to a long discourse on "hate speech" and "racist Amerikkka."

I bring this up to remind you that the trolls are just hypocrites. They don't apply the rules they espouse to themselves, certainly. All they care about is upsetting other people, pure and simple.

Dr. Helen, I can certainly sympathize about letting trolls get you angry. I just want to emphasize that they aren't worth your anger.

In fact, as I was delighted to learn, you can make money from their rants!

Happy New Year....

3:15 PM, January 01, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Regarding the "Army of Trolls"---would that be "An Irritation of Trolls"?---at first I wondered why they wasted the energy and time.

And then I got it: it is much easier to tear something down, to criticize the work of others, than to build something up or create anything.

4:26 PM, January 01, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hah! I wrote about this just this morning!

I don't make New Year's resolutions, either. When I determine to change something in myself or my habits, I set about to do that. It may take me forever to reach the point of decision, but I don't try to time it with New Year's. That always seemed doomed to fail, for me, and with good reason.

But one thing do I hope to change, this year, is my quick trigger in being hyper-critical, even when I don't voice my criticism or annoyance. It's like an ugly coat that I don't want to wear, anymore; it's also not nearly as easy to shed.

Trolls bring out some of the worst in me, by the way.

My best to you and Glenn for a good year.

4:36 PM, January 01, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please also take a look at yourself in the mirror. Please realize that you are
truly a very nice, compassionate, thoughtfull, caring and beautiful person.

Don't let the idiots get you down.

Dr. Helen is a Babe !!!

6:14 PM, January 01, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I try to use wisdom I learned from the first Star Wars: "Let the Wookie win." If he's going to pull off your arms and legs when he loses, it's only sensible. And after that, do not play games with the Wookie.

There is, of course, always the option of killing the Wookie. However, this requires a careful evaluation of comparative deadliness; usually this is more work than it is worth.

6:38 PM, January 01, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Years ago (too many to remember exactly when, the middle 1980's) I finally made a New Year's Resolution that I have managed to keep ever since: "Don't make New Year's Resolutions!". I do make others, usually on my birthday or Memorial Day, and do fairly well at most of them (horribly at some, though.) -- htom

6:44 PM, January 01, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy New Year! Be nice to trolls - it drives them nuts.

My resolution? To focus on the more traditionally female arts - cooking, interior decorating, etc., so I can have more dinner parties (I am a (straight) single father).

My daughters are already getting into it.

6:58 PM, January 01, 2007  
Blogger Albatross said...

Happy New Year, Dr. Helen, and thanks for all the fine reading at your blog.

As for New Year's resolutions, I don't make them. If there is a major change I need to make in my behavior, any old date I choose to start will be just as good, and usually the sooner the better. Picking January 1 is nothing more than procrastination.

11:54 PM, January 01, 2007  
Blogger Melissa Clouthier said...

Hi Dr. Helen,

A very happy and healthy 2007 to you and yours. Glad you kicked the SADness. Thank you for your hard work and blog.

Rather than make a list of resolutions, every New Years Day, I make a "Dream Board" of all the things I want to bring to my life for the new year--spiritual, material, relational, whatever. Almost scary how those things manifest once I actually think about them. By the way, I don't obsess about the Dream Board once it's done. It's just a thing I do. And then, at the end of the year, I look and see what happened. It's fun.

Wishing you the very best 2007 and many civil comments!

1:20 AM, January 02, 2007  
Blogger DRJ said...

How do blog ad revenues work? Do they go by the number of visitors at your website, or do visitors have to comment or click on a link to count for blog traffic?

One of my annual resolutions is to keep learning new things, and I do that by asking lots of questions. So I guess this is my first question in 2007.

2:39 AM, January 02, 2007  
Blogger Purple Avenger said...

Some people can't help but let their negative emotions take over

Trolls don't have emotions. Emotion suggests higher order neurological function. The response of trolls is much more akin to a simple array indexing operation.

for (i=0; i<MAX_TOPICS; i++)
{
if (keyword[i] == HotButtonTopic)
printf("%s %s\n", RandomVenom[rand()], RandomRant[rand()]);
}

4:13 AM, January 02, 2007  
Blogger Helen said...

DRJ,

It depends on the types of ads you have on your blog. For Google ads to make money, you have to click on the ad and the blog is paid by how many click thrus are generated. Blogads (the ads I have to the right of the page) works differently. The blogger sets their own rates--say $60.00 for a week or whatever and advertisers buy an ad. The more traffic one has, the more likely advertisers are to buy on that particular site. For example, December was my best month for selling blogads so far--probably due to an increase in traffic from the lefty bloggers as I mentioned in a previous comment section. It was this increase in revenue for November/December that helped me decide to go on my beach vacation since I made extra money I did not expect! However, all in all, I would rather have less traffic with civil conversation than a few bucks, but at least if people are rude, I can benefit from increased ad revenue.

7:40 AM, January 02, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wait "Dr."Helen

You're bragging about selling those ads on the side of your blog? LOLOL

Maybe take the whole shirt off and you can boost yer rates to $100 week for romance novels and kinky women over 60 for sale? LOLOL

"I might be stupid, but look at how much they pay me!!! And I get to pose pretty too!"

8:22 AM, January 02, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Next time, try Islamorada and get away from the rental condo and boat?

The Real Florida -- not just a lot of fat white tourists advertising their dollars to spend.

8:24 AM, January 02, 2007  
Blogger Helen said...

Anonymous 8:24:

Sorry but I never saw any "fat white tourists" in Key Largo--everyone was Cuban, including the owners of the house we rented.

Anonymous 8:22:

Those ads you see are a result of my being in the Women's blogger network at blogads--what are you, some kind of woman hater? As for the shirt thing, I don't flatter myself that anyone comes by here for the scenery, frankly, my traffic goes down when I post pics of myself. Traffic goes up when I post about the Scarlet R or other ideas that indicate that those on the right should speak up--obviously that is what frightens and enrages the trolls to the point where they come by to rant. Like I said, all that does is buy me more blogads so go ahead and troll.

8:55 AM, January 02, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"What about you, do you make any New Year's resolutions?"

No.

"If so, do you actually keep them?"

No. That's why I don't make them.

10:22 AM, January 02, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry but I never saw any "fat white tourists"

I was talking about Glenn !

"Those ads you see are a result of my being in the Women's blogger network at blogadswhat are you, some kind of woman hater?

Was that person who wears a cape and advertises "services" a dude or a "woman"? Does laughing at romance books and freaky people make me a woman hater in your victimist world?

obviously that is what frightens and enrages the trolls to the point where they come by to rant.

You're a cheap laugh, "Dr." Kind of like a Chrissy from 3s Company character. A jiggle giggle. I don't remember her being too frightening, but maybe you were jealous back in the day?

1:22 PM, January 02, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess that New Year's resolution isn't going too well.

1:46 PM, January 02, 2007  
Blogger DRJ said...

Thanks for the explanation about blog ads. I don't mind trolls (much) but now I'll await their appearance with relish. If you want, I'll even do my part and comment like the redneck red-stater I am and help lure them in. After all, it's for a good cause.

1:51 PM, January 02, 2007  
Blogger Helen said...

1:22:

My flypaper strategy just keeps working--wasting your time on my blog instead of out doing anything in the world, good for you!

Anonymous 1:46:

Just because I respond to trolls doesn't mean they get me down--I have come to find them enjoyable.

1:51 PM, January 02, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Again, think about the time spent by that troll at 1:46---time wasted being nasty and rude. Couldn't they do something more productive with their time?

And Dr. Helen made money from it! Talk about turning dross into gold!

2:12 PM, January 02, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoops. I meant the lonely twenty five year old guy in the dirty Karl Marx shirt living off his parents who posted at 1:22.

2:13 PM, January 02, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Another new year has crept silently up behind and sunk its jaws into the back of my neck. Just waiting for the crunch...

Props to all the politicians, pundits, and Palestinians who work so tirelessly to make the world such a happy place in which to live. May they rot in hell.

To the regular people who don't feel the need to inflict themselves on the world, and who may actually do some good once in a while: Happy New Year.

3:34 PM, January 02, 2007  
Blogger Helen said...

Hey Bugs,

Happy New Year to you. I hope the coming year brings you happiness and personal fulfillment.

3:57 PM, January 02, 2007  
Blogger Vader said...

I don't flatter myself that anyone comes by here for the scenery, frankly, my traffic goes down when I post pics of myself.

I kind of enjoyed the last bikini shot. I'm just saying the scenery could be worse.

I engage in introspection and goal setting fairly regularly, so New Year's resolutions aren't a big deal. I tell myself that this is the year I'm going to shed the spare tire, every year, and I'm good for about two months of dieting and exercise. Well, maybe this year...

6:43 PM, January 02, 2007  
Blogger tomcal said...

Shoot,

My resolution, to not make any more mistakes and do everything perfectly from now on; as well as think of every legitimate money making idea before anyone else, was completely blown to hell by noon.

But I did have a fun day.

9:28 PM, January 02, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I kind of enjoyed the last bikini shot. I'm just saying the scenery could be worse.

I engage in introspection and goal setting fairly regularly, so New Year's resolutions aren't a big deal. I tell myself that this is the year I'm going to shed the spare tire, every year, and I'm good for about two months of dieting and exercise. Well, maybe this year...


Naw kent.
You'd have to get off your fat ass for that. Better to just run your mouth.

5:38 AM, January 07, 2007  
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