Saturday, August 19, 2006

"My ugly came out."

Mary Winkler, the Tennessee preacher's wife who allegedly killed her husband because of emotional and verbal abuse was released on bond from jail this week. I love her comments about her new-found self esteem:

And, she told Alabama officers that the killing was not planned and that she had been verbally and emotionally abused by her husband, Ballin said. She also said she had been through a life-threatening event in the past year, Ballin said.

'My ugly came out'

The attorney would not elaborate on that event, and no details were given about the abuse Mary Winkler claimed she suffered. Winkler did tell police that the emotional and verbal abuse from her husband had worsened over the past year.

"I have nerve now, and I have self-esteem. So, my ugly came out," Alabama investigator Stan Stabler quoted her as saying, according to a report on the hearing published in The Jackson Sun. She referred to herself as a "moron" and an "evil woman," the newspaper reported.


Maybe in some cases, low self-esteem is a good thing. Really, how many people would justify verbal and emotional abuse for a man killing his wife?

Update: Dadvocate has more thoughts on women, murder, and self-esteem.

29 Comments:

Blogger Dave said...

Will she be executed? If so, good, if not, bad.

11:40 AM, August 19, 2006  
Blogger Jeff said...

Another triumph for feminism.

Executed?!? That's taking equality a little too far, my friend. Until Congress and all state and local legislatures are at least 50% female (preferably more), until men stop thinking of women as people who might be interested in having sexual relations, and until men give birth to (at least) half of all babies born, there can be no such thing as "equality". Until that glorious day, all women, regardless of race, class, or a senate seat in New York, are little more than powerless victims of the patriarchal structure of Amerikkka. Being victims, having ones cake and murdering it too is only just!

In the meantime, women will just have to do what they can to feel better about themselves!

12:39 PM, August 19, 2006  
Blogger John Doe said...

But, but, wait, she told him she loved him before he died, so everything's OK after all...

2:43 PM, August 19, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dr. Helen,

When is this legal double standard going to end? I am in the midst of a divorce, prevented from seeing my child because of false, spurious accusations and it seems as if the legal 'system' is unwilling to socially correct a female but is willing to condemn a male on a mere accusation and then turn him into a wage slave for her!? Is fatherhood/paternity measured by materialism/monetary means alone in our society? What is left to a man when he cannot even have the limited joy afforded by natural law-that of having marital happiness and the love of your own offspring? This woman Winkler deserves the death penalty-no excuses or pleas for one parent to live due only to the virtue of that fatuous fact. Soon Mrs. Winkler will be on Oprah, crying, hugging and the wives of America will justify her actions to their husbands disturbing the peace of the marital bed.

3:55 PM, August 19, 2006  
Blogger gs said...

I don't comment all that often but am a regular reader. My expectations are for down-to-earth insight, common sense, and humane realism.

In other words, it should be safe to click in with a mouthful of tea. Fortunately, I was swallowing and none wound up in my lungs or on my monitor screen.

The comic relief can't mask the underlying situation.

Granted, the husband may have been considerably less than a paragon. Granted, the marriage may have been nightmarish for her. Extenuation? Possibly. Justification or absolution? No.

"I have nerve now, and I have self-esteem. So, my ugly came out." Where and how did she acquire nerve and self-esteem? My antennae go up whenever I hear 'self-esteem'. Note the wording of "my ugly came out".
************
Helen, Glenn's blog mentioned "family health developments...on a number of fronts." My best wishes to you both.

4:23 PM, August 19, 2006  
Blogger NEP Admin said...

The fraud of gender discrimination in domestic violence cases -- especially as DV is epidemically used to influence divorce and custody outcomes -- is also rampant, Helen. The news is finally chock-full of the federal, NOW-influenced, anti-father, anti-male, DV industry's now-naked Emperor.

That's the good news.

But bureaucracy is difficult to reform, if not impossible, including in family law. Check the Greenbook's site's language: ttp://www.thegreenbook.info/. Their DV stats are also questionable, yet this project is a major influence on family law policy.

The shorter version of all this is that if gender enters into any number of legal venues, you can be assured of substantial risk if you're male and a nice warm coddling if you're not. And this despite the fact that in the US, DV is nearly gender neutral while child abuse and neglect is overwhelmingly not committed by men. Overseas in places like the UK and Australia, as it turns out, men are statistically the greater victims of DV.

So much for bona fide feminism: Today's version is well entrenched in the tax money flow and it's really not much more than blatant opportunism.

For a good dose of reality-based, anti-gender feminism, check RADAR's site. It's all about the actual facts that underly all the prevelant myths about gender in DV: http://www.mediaradar.org/

Make no mistake about it, Washington DC-based lobbies and the pop media have fomented a sizable anti-male, anti-father, anti-family campaign simply because that's how to milk the federal coffers.

And it's all based on myth.

4:29 PM, August 19, 2006  
Blogger Lee J. Cockrell said...

As I've posted before: if a man had shot his sleeping wife in the back and killed her, taken his children and fled, admitted it to multiple law enforcement officers, and lost $17,000 to Nigerian scammers, would he still be able to make bail?

4:51 PM, August 19, 2006  
Blogger NEP Admin said...

lee, if a man had returned from work, found an officer on the step with a bogus TPO, went downtown to be booked anyway and in the fray lost his kids, property, and say, $3000 a month from his $4000 wage, would he still be able to make bail?

Further, would he enjoy due process on the bogus TPO, have the right to recover his property, family, good name, and social standing?

Would he be dealt with sans gender discrimination in a juryless family court benched by a "feminist"?

Would he enjoy the simultaneous rights to a presumption of innocence along with liberty and the pursuit of happiness (and legal recourse persuant any of this?)

Or would he end up on the lam, sleeping in a van down by the river, hunted on grounds made impossible to repeal by the Bradley Amendment, for monies motivated by Title IV-D, by "social services" with carte blanche federal authority to do things to him in "civil" law that wouldn't stand a ghost of a chance in criminal law, and under the "child's best interest" clause (which means that it's always in the kid's best interest to wake up one day to find that dad was only missing until today -- they just found his body in Canada.)

I can only wish I were being rhetorical...

5:20 PM, August 19, 2006  
Blogger ronin1516 said...

What jackass of a Judge gives a person facing capital murder charges, bail? Seems we are hearing more and more reports of incompetent Judges, who dont seem to be exercising good judgement at all!!!!!!!

5:50 PM, August 19, 2006  
Blogger dadvocate said...

Same ole BROKEN record, more or less. Every woman who kills someone ends up the victime. The "self esteem", "my ugly came out" part it great.

It appears that as more and more women have higher self esteeem we can expect more and more men to be murdered. My daughter seems to feel pretty good about herself, so I better watch my back.

My ugly came out about 30 years ago but I decided just to keep it on my face.

6:14 PM, August 19, 2006  
Anonymous Zeb Quinn said...

Many years of practicing domestic relations and family law, representing men and women equally, tells me that we don't have the whole story here. I am in no way suggesting what the rest of the story might be, only that there's much more to this that we don't know.

6:39 PM, August 19, 2006  
Blogger dadvocate said...

Thanks for the link. It is an honor.

9:58 AM, August 20, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Like GS, my BS detector goes off whenever someone begins talking "self-esteem."

Studies show that sociopaths and criminals have very high self-esteem. Mary Winkler should fit right in with them.

Seriously, though, I think her "self-esteem" has jack to do with all this. She's just being fed all the right baloney to say to get out of what she's done. And it'll work, just you watch.

4:19 PM, August 21, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Occum's Razor:

The most logical conclusion to come to is that the person who murders is more likely to be abusive prior to the murder.

She did more than just snap. First she snapped and shot him. Then she walked away and let him bleed to death. Why not call an ambulance on the way out the door?

Also, according to most DV guidelines, taking $17,000 of community money without your partner's knowledge and doing with it on your whim is also considered financial abuse.

1:29 PM, August 22, 2006  
Blogger Bird Dog said...

Self-esteem is an unworthy goal for anyone. Self-respect is a worthy goal, but difficult to attain because it is about behavior - not "feelings".

2:33 PM, August 22, 2006  
Blogger h said...

I hope this case opens people's eyes to abuse PERIOD! It doesn't matter the gender. People tend to close their eyes, and think it isn't as bad as everyone says. Or That story is to extreme...blah blah blah! Everyone has their excuses as to why they turn a blind eye.

Abuse is hardly a gender issue. If in fact she snapped under the constant pressure of abuse...it shows how society tells people to keep silence we can't handle the truth...and makes you wonder where they wish people to go with those hurts. I'm not making any excuses for what she did - what she did was WRONG and there is no two ways around that fact! I hope this case opens the eyes of society to what men, women and children experience everyday, and can finally toss away the stupid stereotypes and myths of the present.

The church seems to be the worse offender for everyone, and how sad is that.

2:58 PM, November 06, 2006  
Blogger h said...

I hope this case opens people's eyes to abuse PERIOD! It doesn't matter the gender. People tend to close their eyes, and think it isn't as bad as everyone says. Or That story is to extreme...blah blah blah! Everyone has their excuses as to why they turn a blind eye.

Abuse is hardly a gender issue. If in fact she snapped under the constant pressure of abuse...it shows how society tells people to keep silence we can't handle the truth...and makes you wonder where they wish people to go with those hurts. I'm not making any excuses for what she did - what she did was WRONG and there is no two ways around that fact! I hope this case opens the eyes of society to what men, women and children experience everyday, and can finally toss away the stupid stereotypes and myths of the present.

The church seems to be the worse offender for everyone, and how sad is that.

2:59 PM, November 06, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

do you know anything about these "secret" mary winkler pics by any chance?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ibYU1hZ0-Mk

3:36 PM, January 27, 2007  
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