The Network of Enlightened Women is taking nominations for their Gentleman's showcase:
Every spring, NeW hosts the Gentlemen’s Showcase which is an event honoring gentlemen on college campuses. The goal is to encourage mutual respect between the sexes.
posted by Helen at 9:34 AM
32 Comments:
I'd like to nominate Dr. Orpheus from the Venture Bros.
And I'm sure that the Network of Enlightened Men will take nominations for a Ladies Campus showcase. Imagine the howls if they did.
Gag me with a spoon. Are they trying to draw otherwise conservative females into the feminist movement, or am I just too cynical?
Poked around their site. Looked like a sorority game more than anything. Couldn't find anything about what their views of a gentlewoman was.
Let's see. They require of men...
* A gentleman opens your door for you, without expecting anything in return.
* A gentleman shovels his neighbor’s car out of the snow.
* A gentleman helps an older woman carry her groceries.
* A gentleman comes alongside you as a leader, not to demand submission, but to earn respect by giving love.
* A gentleman treats you like the lady you are.
* A gentleman is confident, but not conceited.
or, more briefly...
A gentleman knows his place.
I think br549 is right. Christina Hoff Sommers is one of their guiding lights, but my flesh is still crawling for reasons I can't yet put into words.
There seems to be a lot of narcissism in this little coterie.
Is the award a figure of a White Knight?
campy said...
Is the award a figure of a White Knight?
11:45 AM, March 22, 2011
A bronze statute of felis catus holding a buggy whip.
Yeah, their idea of a gentleman seems to be more servant. There would be nothing wrong with what they say if it also included "Stands up for right", "Opposes Wrong", "Supports the weak", "Works Hard", "Speaks Honestly", etc.
roissy.wordpress.com
a play a little game or two with the door-opening thing these days.
too many hatchet-faced looks from modern women to want to be that sort of gentleman any more.
i don`t teach that sort of behaviour to my boys, as it would set them up as frustrated chumps, though i wish for days when a woman would be glad to have a door open for her and smile, but those days are gone for good it would seem.(or was i a romantic idiot?)
so what do i tell my boys?
pay half, up front.
and further, i told my 25 year old step son that he needs to not find a wife, like his mother pressures him, but to date a few girls and pursue his career and develop himself as a person, and pay attention to how these women behave around him.
and it helps that he has a crazy little sister to hammer home my point.
The problem is not intrinsically with the good old fashioned chivalry. The problem is with the *gynocentric* approach to it. These people combine old notions of gentlemanliness with the gynocentrism they have learnt from modern feminists.
This is really why I am wary of this "neo-chivalry" : chivalry per se is relatively harmless, and even possibly helps nourish good feelings, but in these gynocentric times I am afraid it can turn out to be like allowing the camel to stick its nose into the tent. Or, at least bolster the existing convention that any gender-related discussion has to be gynocentric.
Ok, then. See if you can find anything on their site about what a lady is/does.
(not holding my breath)
On one of their blog threads they cite and applaud the writings of Kay Hymowitz.
Once more I am wondering if the human female has decided that it is within her province to determine the parameters of the human male.
I do not care to be defined by women anymore than women care to be defined by men.
Dr H? Your input?
Actually, Helen needs to clarify that she is against this.
This whole organization is just another version of Kay Hymowitz's 'man up' campaign.
None of these women would give up female-biased laws and other goodies just for a few door-openings.
Conservative women like Kay Hymowitz and these sorority girls differ from lefto-feminists only to the degree that Shias differ from Sunnis. They both think a man exists only to be useful to women, and has no right to want anything in return from women.
Also, the man most of these women would sleep with is a man who would happily and boldly make fun of this. See : Roissy.
"Conservative women like Kay Hymowitz and these sorority girls differ from lefto-feminists only to the degree that Shias differ from Sunnis."
The T-shirts are being printed as we speak.
Helping someone with a door is simply common courtesy. I do it for men and women alike, as they do for me. When someone holds a door open for me (man or woman), I smile and thank them. What's wrong with that?
Maybe people are nicer to one another where I live. We help each other when we can. I'm not excusing those who demand subservient behavior of men only but what comes around goes around. When I helped a woman with a flat tire a while ago, I was picturing my wife stranded and would hope someone would likewise help her should she need it.
Anyone - man or woman - who gets their panties in a wad about common courtesy is an asshole.
@Larry: Couldn't agree with you more. The loss of simple civility is the death knell of the Western world.
But that's not what this discussion is about. The people here have been in an ongoing debate re the role of chivalry in a feminist world, and how women are no longer required to fetch coffee but are suddenly not required to lift the 5-gallon water jugs at work.
It gets complicated. And it's really silly sometimes.
I think the contestants that women nominate will be men that women are highly attracted to.
Which means the nominees will be arrogant tattooed thugs with a criminal record, or slick pick-up artists. In other words, someone who is exactly the opposite of what the contest guidelines stipulate.
The clueless beta males will be utterly baffled as they wonder how the ultimate winner possibly could have been chosen.
ZorroPrimo and kmg,
I am actually undecided on the showcase--I just wanted to bring it to reader's attention. On one hand, I kind of like the idea that men who are "nice guys" are being recognized and mutual respect between the sexes is a good idea. However, on the other hand, any indication that men are supposed to "man up" to please women with no reciprocation on women's part is not acceptable to me. I also agree that they should be fighting back against female privilege if they are truly for equality. If they are wanting to keep things superior for females and gain door openings etc, then I am certainly against that.
kmg,
I don't think that the contestants are going to be thugs, I think the idea is to choose guys who are not like that, but I guess we will see.
In an age of radical feminism, I don't think exercising traditional notions of "chivalry" are going to avail you much. One on end, you get the death looks and recrimination from the bitter, 1960s retread gender feminists for your phallocentric patriarchal oppressive act of opening the door for them. On the other end, you feed the female privilege, entitled princess mindset that men should live to serve women - and it's just "expected" that you should do X, Y and Z without recognition or gratitude. The unspoken social contract between the sexes, that if men are good to women, women should be good to them back, has long been torn up, shredded, burnt to ashes, stomped on and scattered to the four winds.
Dr. Helen, I went through their site and it seems to be more of the same feminist balderdash. The praise for Kay Hymowitz's latest crayon scrawling and the AFC-types nominated in their so-called "Gentlemen's Showcase" are just two examples of this. The nominees are merely setting themselves up for failure with women by allowing themselves to be part of this.
and women notoriously make poor decisions about the type of bloke to bed...still.
rat-finks, shysters, salesmen, preachers, bastards, liars, etc.
we see who they are, and women cannot, especially at certain times of the month (my wife asks for beardy by name by the way....) and that makes us different right off.
journalists make money by amplifying the differences for fun and profit in books, videos and this "gentlemen`s showcase".
hitting our "shocked and appauled" button gets a reaction, and like most things in media, reactionary sells.
dr.alistair makes an interesting observation, and one which could be developed on another dedicated thread: Generally speaking, who makes better mating decisions, men or women?
Honestly, I could easily believe men are awful at choosing wives, but I've been watching women choose men (because, as a man, I have far better insight into a guy's character than a woman does).
Two examples: My sister and Sandra Bullock. These are two women who married a guy that had TOXIC F*CK-UP written all over them, and neither saw any of it and acted shocked (shocked, I tell you!) when the guy's true nature popped out like the proverbial cloven hoof. In truth, it was always there to be seen by one and all...just not the bride, who was asleep at the frikkin' wheel.
Two-thirds of divorces are instigated at her behest, not his. So I wonder what the hell is going on inside a man or woman's head when marriage is discussed.
Men and women probably "see what they prefer to see" more or less equally, though women have that biological clock pressuring them to make a really bad choice.
Any observations, crew?
I wonder how many prank videos they will get. A bunch I hope.
I pretty much meet the gentleman criteria except, maybe, for this one: A gentleman treats you like the lady you are.
I know some ladies, but they're less common than they used to be. A lot of non-ladies think they are ladies.
zorro, i think we all have made poor choices at one time or another.
i`m on my third marriage, which to some makes me unsuitable to comment, but i like to think i`ve evolved emotionally, transactionally etc. enough to warrant another go on the track/course/path...however you might characterise things.
my comment regarding who makes better choices is severalfold.
firstly, when women are young they want the fit, virile children that comes from the alpha male... this blinkers them to other aspects of the alpha`s character that may preclude him from being a "good" husband in the long run.
and men initially want the most physically attractive woman to have his children, though she may not be suited as a partner in other ways.
so when the first pairing breaks down, which increasingly is happening, we modify our values and our choices to the best of our abilities.
(i went from the frying pan to the fire by the way.)
many men and women exhibit such profound inflexibility that they end up angry and resentful toward all men and women and carry that "baggage" into every relationship they find themselves in in the future.
one has to be able to let the ego go a bit, and do some work alone for a while and discover what you really want in ife before offering yourself to another relationship, otherwise you will re-create the last one, or worse.
so, who makes the worst mating decisions?
women, simply because they think they can pick a bad boy because he`s the winning choice, and then set about changing him into a loyal, loving husband.
self-centered narssists are incapable of thinking their position may have flaws that are actually sabotaging their own happiness...and it may take years of self-work to come to that realisation.
Kay Hymowitz was on a morning show yesterday (GMA? Today Show?) and by the end of the segment, all the co-hosts were saying "manning up" meant opening your wallets. They made it quite clear.
"The goal is to encourage mutual respect between the sexes."
And were does the word, "mutual" come into any of this?
"The goal is to encourage mutual respect between the sexes."
And were does the word, "mutual" come into any of this?
I'm sure that, if asked, the "Enlightened Women" would say they respect males as much (or more) as we deserve, and only we need to improve in that area.
Helen wrote :
I don't think that the contestants are going to be thugs, I think the idea is to choose guys who are not like that, but I guess we will see.
They will either choose :
a) Men they are attracted to, OR
b) Men who fit the contest guidelines.
I think we all agree that there is little to no overlap between the two.
I think I'm an asshole, but that a lot of feminist types still want to have sex with me. I hold the door for anyone and everyone coming up behind me, as long as they are not still halfway across the parking lot.
But when holding the door for a woman behind me, sometimes I get that look, if you know what I mean. So, I let go of the door at such a time so as to have it close in her face, turn, and keep walking.
Some of these women, when they open the door and walk in as I am moving away, greet me with "Fuck you, asshole."
br549 said...
Some of these women, when they open the door and walk in as I am moving away, greet me with "Fuck you, asshole."
They've been reading their Dale Carnegie, I see.
Judging from the men I see on my campus each day, they'll be lucky to get ANY nominees...
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