Excuse Me While I go Throw Up
Winston Churchill once said, "85% of the world's work is done by people who don't feel very well." Perhaps this saying applies to bloggers. Is it my imagination or do a lot of bloggers seem to be people who don't feel very well? Every time I read a blog now, it seems like an illness has taken over the writer to the point where they're at a hospital or doctor's office. Heck, even sex-blogger justonebite is having medical problems. I hope she gets well soon--I really like her blog--although maybe illness will keep her blogging even more than usual. I know that feeling sick keeps me at the computer for extended periods--mainly as a way to distract myself from my body.
My husband had set up a site for me to blog four years ago but I never used it and was content to just have a couple of websites. I was busy working and thinking that I could make a difference in the world--my mistake. My profession never gave me the outlet that I needed to do that. However, as my health got worse and my tolerance for people and my job lower, I started blogging a few months ago to feel that I could still get my opinion out in the world in a way that made me feel productive (it may just be annoying to others, but it makes me feel better).
I used to do a lot of mental evaluations for people getting Social Security Disability. When I was healthy (prior to my heart attack), I could not relate very well to the clients who came in with their various illnesses, it seemed foreign to me--from the allergies, chemical sensitivites and fibromyalgia to the heart problems, cancer and strokes. However, once I had a heart attack, I understood the vulnerabilities that people suffered. What I could not understand was giving up the essence of who one was in terms of their working life to receive a social security check.
Which brings me back to blogging. There is something refreshing about the ability to post one's thoughts and tout one's wares (such as documentary films, books etc.) over the internet while barely being able to hold a fork to one's mouth before rushing to the bathroom to throw up from some stomach bug you picked up from your kid's school a few days before. I wonder how many other bloggers are out there posting on a regular basis and keeping the world amused because it is one of the few outlets that requires little physical exertion? I could be wrong but it seems to me that if one is vibrant with good health and stamina, they would be out snowboading, skiing or just enjoying the outdoors. I know I would. Anyone else out there blog to distract yourself from feeling bad--whether physical or mental? It would be nice to know I had some company.
Update: Go read more thoughts on depression at Classical Values and don't miss the Blog-life Crisis at thenonist.com.
My husband had set up a site for me to blog four years ago but I never used it and was content to just have a couple of websites. I was busy working and thinking that I could make a difference in the world--my mistake. My profession never gave me the outlet that I needed to do that. However, as my health got worse and my tolerance for people and my job lower, I started blogging a few months ago to feel that I could still get my opinion out in the world in a way that made me feel productive (it may just be annoying to others, but it makes me feel better).
I used to do a lot of mental evaluations for people getting Social Security Disability. When I was healthy (prior to my heart attack), I could not relate very well to the clients who came in with their various illnesses, it seemed foreign to me--from the allergies, chemical sensitivites and fibromyalgia to the heart problems, cancer and strokes. However, once I had a heart attack, I understood the vulnerabilities that people suffered. What I could not understand was giving up the essence of who one was in terms of their working life to receive a social security check.
Which brings me back to blogging. There is something refreshing about the ability to post one's thoughts and tout one's wares (such as documentary films, books etc.) over the internet while barely being able to hold a fork to one's mouth before rushing to the bathroom to throw up from some stomach bug you picked up from your kid's school a few days before. I wonder how many other bloggers are out there posting on a regular basis and keeping the world amused because it is one of the few outlets that requires little physical exertion? I could be wrong but it seems to me that if one is vibrant with good health and stamina, they would be out snowboading, skiing or just enjoying the outdoors. I know I would. Anyone else out there blog to distract yourself from feeling bad--whether physical or mental? It would be nice to know I had some company.
Update: Go read more thoughts on depression at Classical Values and don't miss the Blog-life Crisis at thenonist.com.
posted by Helen at 8:06 PM
38 Comments:
I don't blog, but I do surf the internet (and frequent excellent blogs like yours) in part because of illness. In my case, it is due to the chronic illness of a family member that I care for.
I surf when I have a newborn. I'm always up all night feeding them (mine are always early and small), so I need something to keep me awake. Soon (I hope) he'll be sleeping more at night and I'll be offline again.
When you cannot get out, blogging and IMing and the rest is a way to reach out to other people.
Since the blogosphere is so huge, you are likely to find folks with similar interests, sympathy, etc...just as you are also likely to find unpleasant people.
So I guess "illnessblogging" makes a kind of sense.
"Eric Blair"
As I was asking myself rhetorically only yesterday at by blog, "Is it too impossibly pretentious and silly of me to say that blogging is the only thing that makes my own life bearable?"
Beyond being able to have one's say and sometimes meet fascinating like minds -- and, of course, the occasional fascinating unlike mind -- the visual, sound and linking tools of the internet allow one's best creative ideas to soar.
Wonderful insight. You reminded me of Churchill's black dog, and my own. Thank you!
ronin1516,
You had written before about your illnesses--and I must say, I was suprised. You seem so robust and healthy in your comments! I am glad we have the blogs to entertain us --I know they have provided me with a lot of food for thought and laughter. Let's hope all of our health conditions improve in 2006.
Indeed, you do have a lot of company, I believe. I also have a chronic illness that keeps me from being particularly active ...
... however, I must say that blogging and reading other people's blogs are actually beginning to cut into what I usually do manage to accomplish with whatever energy I have. ;-)
Have a peaceful Christmas and a healthy, safe New Year!
The intellectual power of those at home, long underused, is being released. We are rapidly learning how to do it right.
I have Hep C (no biggie, whatever they say), and when I was diagnosed it changed my life. I stopped drifting and got serious about everything - work, wife, having kids, relationships, creative pursuits, God.
I took up writing a Blog this year, but prior to that I started my own business, polished a lot of my music into finished compositions recorded in a small home studio, and got real with God.
I thank God for my health scare (I hesitate to call it an illness because I don't generally feel ill), it woke me up. Otherwise I might still be a couch potato complaining about the boss!
well, blogging is a good way to blow off steam and occupy your time.
I blogged for a year before I retired due to my HUSBAND's health..and now I have lots more time.
As for patients with "chemical sensitivities", I can relate, because I have all those things...but since my mother was German, I was taught to ignore my symptoms and get on with life...
I started my blog as a way to work through my grief after my Mother's death, although during the previous 4 years I had been developing different websites as a way to keep busy and keep my mind active. I was full time 24/7 caretaker for my Mother after her stroke all during that 4 year period. Now, I find myself unemployable, as they say, because of being out of the job market for that 4 years plus one and as I suffer constant pain from a broken vertebrae in my lower back. I think the "illness" of the blogger is mostly due to the fact that bloggers are by their nature Type As who have been incapacitated in one way or another and begin blogging as a way to have mental stimulation and some sort of connection to a world they can't connect to in the ways they have been used to in the past.
I'm reminded of indications in Nietzsche's writings that he thought the philosopher is individually decadent (which I think should be understood as meaning "unhealthy" or "maladapted"), but the philosophic activity resulting from his decadence renews the health of mankind.
I'm quite healthy (but I'm a photoblogger rather than a traditional blogger)... but one of my all-time favorite bloggers is a 36 year old mother of 3 who has a pacemaker and does a lot of blogging from the doctor's office. She's funny... honestly! Currently, her oldest son's face was just chewed by a dog and lots of hospital visits and plastic surgeon visits figure in the blog lately. I never thought about the "sickly lot" theory but there might be something to it.
I read blogs a lot because I am bipolar. I work as a professional during the day...am happily in a long term marriage but I have to stay quiet and rest for several hours a day and stay away from stress.
You are so lucky with your heart because you receive support. I can't tell a soul about the bipolar because the prejudice is so deep and broad. Nobody but my husband knows.
I suffer a lot privately.
The internet and the bloggers have
been wonderful for me. I have a
chronic painful condition and some
days I simply cannot do much in the
way of physical action.
So, in the last four year I have
had a journey to America and it's
politics and love it.
If someone had told me I would be
into politics as I am, five years
ago I would have laughed.
I wake up and look forward to my
day reading the blogs and other
political websites and certainly,
they are lively.
I did not think my nerves would make it during the election as I
am a strong fan of President Bush
and his family and was scared to
death Kerry would win.
I have found American people to be
great folks, well, alright not
some the left!
Now watching the left go after him
once again my trust in him and the
intelligence of the American people
is still high.
I started blogging while I was sick (and didn't know it). When the sickness led to The Cardiac Incident (talked about at http://wonderduck.mu.nu/archives/129384.php), I found that blogging about it made me feel better... maybe Spider Robinson got it right: "Shared pain decreases, shared joy increases."
I am quite healthy, out-and-about, and happy in my life and marriage.
I feel quite abashed reading the comments.
I blog because I am a political junkie, and I regard the blogosphere as a Heaven-sent opportunity to share my opinions with everyone, since my local paper will only publish one letter a month.
Perhaps an exception proves the rule?
Umm... I just got popped in the jaw for what I posted in regards to the NYC Transit Strike, and the shot knocked loose a filling....
Does that count?
Science fiction author Robert A. Heinlein noted the unexamined role of illness in literature: many more authors took up writing in response to illness than quit. Heinlein himself took up writing after complications from tuberculosis made him 'unfit for honest work.'
Eric Hoffer wrote a lot about the role of the sick and the marginalized in creating thought, especially in his later - and interestingly, eerily bloglike - last books.
We humans are a fragile lot - the reason so many bloggers are ill is probably because that's a representative cross-section of society as a whole.
Interesting theory .. or I should say truth ..
My blog is my "head space" where I mull over everything that's going on in my life. It has also turned into a very important record of all the health travails I've endured over the years. Since my youngest was born it has been one thing after another, until my cancer diagnosis last year.
Do I blog because I'm sick? I've always been a writer, but I went through long dry spells of not really having much to say. Now that I'm "sick", I find I have a lot to talk about!
One of the best things about illness-blogging is when a reader lets you know that you've helped him in some way. For every person that takes the time to write, you know there are more who don't. That makes it seem less like an indulgence of self-reflection than it might otherwise.
There's no doubt that if I were healthy, and living close to my family when my kids were very young, I wouldn't be blogging. Blogging both helps me deal with isolation and keep a grip on my condition.
The physical difficulties I have make certain once-favored activities difficult to impossible. Therefore I have more time than before.
The financial difficulties, caused by the phyical ones, mean that it is difficult to fill up this time, hence I spend hours per day on the 'net. Hence I read, and do some small amount of wrinting.
I had a tough year last year in which I was divorced, my mom died, my dad was diagnosed terminal, there were a bunch of big financial problems, and several other family deaths (grandmother, aunt, uncle). I noticed a tremendous upswing in blogging during that period. It seemed to provide an outlet when I hit emotional overload. Something about blogging about other people's issues seemed to allow me some respite from my own.
I just want to share, if you're sick, there are health insurance options for you outside of a regular job. If you elect COBRA coverage & use it for the full 18 months you can take advantage of HIPAA-CHIP Section 15. It is expensive, but it might be worth the peace of mind.
Also, at least in Illinois, if you get a rejection letter from a Health Insurance company you can apply for another type of insurance...not as secure though because some of its money comes from of our state's general fund.
Details about both plans are here: Illinois CHIP
ALL states have section 15 by law.
A Southwest Virginia blogger died on Monday, as she did not survive double lung transplant surgery. Her blog tells of the several months prior. It is an emotional experience to read her hopes and dreams, knowing the end.
The link is here -
http://bfljw.blogspot.com/.
I have fibromyalgia and a few months ago I had a precancerous uterus removed.
Yeah, I blog and such to keep myself from feeling totally worthless and helpless as well as distracting myself from how horrible I feel. I even have more than one online journal for different types of entries. I have a scholarly blog, a personal journal, a writing journal and one for religious stuff, etc. That way my friends who are also feeling bad can control to some extent what of my stuff they read.
Blogging is definitely an outlet for this invalid.
My adventures on the internet began with messageboards and expanded into marshmallows (lordofthepeeps.com). The messageboarding (an experience not too far removed from 'waterboarding') eventually gave way to blogging with no comments allowed: my health simply could not take the constant wars and rumors of wars that come with taking any sort of politically incorrect stand in cyberspace.
The Peeping slowed and then stopped as cardiomyopathy and circumstance gained the upper hand: it takes a lot of energy to be that silly. The blogging limped on for a while, but came to an abrupt halt as I navigated the tricky waters of beta-blockers and ace inhibitors.
Here now, months later, with neurohormonal cascade dammed and parasympathetic storm spent
(for the time being, anyway), I hope soon to be blogging (and Peeping) again - it's that or burst with the frustration of silence, a state which I can assure you is not my natural territory!
ballie,
I hope your health continues to improve--cardiomyopathy is not fun as I can attest. I actually enjoy the comments the most as they provide endless entertainment. The diverse views and interactions are interesting.
This post gives me a whole new set of ideas for blog names: Shut-InPundit, The Valid Invalid, Suicide Watch, BarelyAbletoType, BypassPundit, ArthriticPundit, ClingingtoLife, ReasonToLive. DepressedPundit.
Blogging is a wonderful activity for for old people, and for those of us who just feel old.
We should remember that some of the greatest accomplishments in art, literature, science, etc. were made by people we'd call bipolar. My observation is that even depressives cycle up and down somewhat. I think of depression, anxiety, paranoia, panic and bipolar illness as being points on a continuum, and that many of the afflicted are quite intelligent.
One exception, however, is the current Moonbat Left. They're beyond hope.
I bought the computer precisely because I am chronically ill (genetic problems, nothing catchy)--but the mind is still nimble and wants to roam free. And in real life, being sick gets you shunned pretty quickly, it's a downer for everyone. Online is my escape; and honestly, I become so engaged by the exchange of ideas that I don't feel my symptoms.
anonymous 3:17,
You too? I thought I was the only one who got so mad I forgot my symptoms! Blogging is a great outlet.
Dr. Kay Jamieson has written several books on bi-polar disorder. She is bi-polar. In FIRES OF THE MIND, she spells it out about the huge numbers of famous authors and poets who were bi-polar. Name one, and you'll probably find him/her in this book.
AST said it well.
I think of my computer as 'the looking glass'. I disappear into it and live.
Wonderful comments!
phoenix,
Thanks for the recommendation for Kay Redfield Jamison's book. In addition to "Fires of the Mind," I like her book, "Night Falls Fast" which looks at understanding suicide. A good read if you or someone you know is depressed to the point of wanting to harm him or herself.
I do. I'm on disability, after working hard (classic Type A they say) at my career. I developed a rare disorder from stress.
Life is very cut off for me. I've met some incredibly wonderful and witty people via blogging. And it gives me an outlet to participate in the world, when I can't physically.
I've finally clued in that blogging light or informative is much more rewarding than blogging illness. I would like to blog my illness again (I did last year) but it became such a drain and there was no escape. And of course, it mostly attracted negative types. It wasn't enjoyable for me although I did teach several people a great deal and I'm grateful for that.
So you're not alone ;)
希望大家都會非常非常幸福~
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