Valentine's Special with Amy Alkon
Amy Alkon joins me again on PJTV for a Valentine's Day segment to discuss why she calls the day "our national day of insincerity," if Valentine's Day should include steak and bj's for men and those annoying jewelry commercials.
You can watch here.
Labels: PJTV
posted by Helen at 1:53 PM
14 Comments:
Great interview. The best gift I ever got from my late husband was a few flowers from our garden which he gave me for no other reason than he thought I would like them. He's been gone over seven years, and I still have the dried pedals.
If you need any further prooof why men may not like Valentine's day, check ou this Cosmo article:
http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/relationships/24221/dating-101-the-biggest-v-day-sins-guys-commit
Jebus!
Dr. Helen,
Do yourself a favor & distance yourself from Amy Alkon. Associating with her is going to alienate most men & a great deal of women as well. On your own you have a chance of appealing to a larger audience eventually one day-I can see it coming. With her you're guaranteed to stay in the margins. I'm not going to waste a lot of time and energy trying to explain to you what is wrong with her- you'll just have to take my word for it.
Very good interview. I am a man who is way past caring what women want. I know that sounds cruel, but they have succeeded in completely alienating me.
There is not only manipulation going on but outright intimidation. American women are the most spoiled in the world, and men have helped them every step of the way.
Appeasement only fuels more demands. I am seeing this everywhere I look. Women have, for the most part, claimed victim status and men who buy into that in any way are setting themselves up for failure - and a lousy time to boot. This is the #1 cause of divorce and breakups.
The imbalance in the male-female relationship in the USA is stunning, and men realize this.
The only guys who really want to get married anymore are gay - and I question their sincerity too.
The commercials are just another symptom. Corporations will only take advantage of the current zeitgeist - they are reflections not instigators.
Take a look at movies and the fantasies these Hollywood formula-mongers promote (just think anything invovling Hugh Grant) It is the same story told over and over, more predicable than a NASCAR race or a WWF match.
Women want to live in a fantasy world and then decry the reality of men.
Only a few women, like Amy Alkon are realizing this. Even you Helen, as nice as you are, are stuck on what "should" be and how we can "change or evolve".
Happy Valentines Day!
Franco wrote: "The only guys who really want to get married anymore are gay - and I question their sincerity too."
Franco, that is fracking funny. I don't agree with you, but you said it so well it made me laugh.
Great phrasing.
Trey
It's been my observation that the value of Valentine's Day to a man is inversely proportional to his quality as a partner. A man who treats his wife like his queen is expected to do much, and may have to bankrupt and/or physically maim himself just to break even. On the other hand, men who rarely do anything for their women do not have much in the way of expectations, so even a half-hearted gesture will get them showered with reciprocation (which may well be their only motive for doing anything).
What I find interesting about the survey in the video is how even Amy Alkon, who seems to understand the insincerity of Valentines Day even noted that more men (46%) do it out of obligation than desire (25%), and more women do it out of desire (22%) than obligation (6%). It wasn't noted that men do it more out of both desire (25% to 22%) and obligation (46% to 6%). It made it sound like it means women want to give more out of the goodness of their hearts, which isn't the case.
I admit it. I'm an Amy Alkon fanboy. She is so very, very hot. Smart, too.
I can't agree more with what Franco said. I couldn't care less about what women want, never have, never will.
What she wants, what she believes, what she thinks is completely irrelevant to me. Why? Because none of that changes what my responsibilities as a man are.
It's very simple really. I am going to do what I have to do, whether she likes it or not. Women and children get to do what they want. Men can only do what they have to do. We don't have a choice, and we're certainly not allowed to complain about it. The only thing for a man to do is what he has to do.
Women are supposedly so much smarter than men, but they're so stupid they can't figure that out? They're so conceited, spoiled and self-centered they can't respect that?
Then she isn't worth 50%. She isn't worth 20% child support for 18 years. She isn't worth a boquet of roses and a box of chocolates. She isn't worth the time of day.
What is she worth? A tequila shot and a lie to the face. Fuck her once, dump her in the morning before she wakes up, then replace her with another bar slut the next night. Works for me.
Women have a real problem. It's an attitude problem, and it's their problem. It's their sense of entitlement and pretence to superiority that renders them utterly worthless to any real man.
I don't celebrate Valentine's Day. The only holidays I celebrate are Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, the 4th of July, and my birthday. Those are the only days on which I will not work. But a business calander is 360 days, so I'm officially working every day of the year.
If I were in a serious relationship with a woman, on this day I'd probably write her a silly love poem, cut her some roses from my garden (grow your own, as they say), maybe make her some chocolate-covered strawberries.
Or I'd make her breakfast in bed.
1 grapefruit (ruby red is the best), sliced in half.
Sprinkle brown sugar on the pulp, then lightly glaze in a broiler.
Serve with 7 grain whole wheat toast, melted butter, orange marmalade or cream cheese, and freshly ground coffee.
But I have yet to meet a modern American woman who's worth that much trouble.
Actually, I would like to hear what is wrong with Amy. She sounded more on the mark than Helen to me in the video. I think what she was saying about men and women regarding the evolutionary psychology was right on the mark. (Personally, I have mixed feelings about any field like "evolutionary psychology", but these fundamental tendancies built into the genders is on the mark.)
I think what didn't come out in the video was that Helen was talking about what a person should try to do and what motivations a person should try to act on while Amy was talking more from a deterministic perspective of what tendencies people have to begin with. Saying that "women look for providers" doesn't mean that they are gold diggers or that they should be. The poing of that is just to understand what originally attracts women to begin with. And, Helen most of all should be able to appreciate that some deep seated tendency can come out in all sorts of different ways.
I think where Amy and Helen meet is where we recognize what originally motivates us and let that out and pursue it in a constructive way. Look, in the extreme case, women are attracted to males and males are attracted to females. You shouldn't be sitting around trying to be open to being attracted to the same sex just to be "fair". You should persue your attraction to the opposite sex in a constructive way. Some of us become serial rapists and murders while the majority live out happy healthy lives being attracted to the opposite sex. The same kind of reasoning applies to other more subtle differences. Just because a woman has a natural tendency to be attracted to providers doesn't mean she has to do it in a gold-digging fashion. But, I do think that is where the lopsided social expectations on a day like valentines day come from.
It is "supposed" to be lopsided.
50% divorece rate, 70% filed by women, men losing their entire lives over a whim then being blamed for 'abondoning' their families as the court and their ex's cut them out of their children's lives as the police state creeps more & more into all of our private lives and then no one does or says anything about any of this or the horrendous divorce laws and the must arrest DV polices, false rape accusations have exploded & now 1 in 4 women have STD's and then this. The last thing anyone should be talking about is Valentine's Day. Where are the prioroties? This is like some nutcase trying to clean a spot on the carpet while her house is burning down.
Here's a case in point of a woman thinks she deserves it all.
My girlfriends and I used to call Valentines Day "that most holy of days." You know, I don't find anything at all inconsistent with wanting to earn equal pay in the workplace and wanting to be cherished by your significant other. Guys who resent Valentine's Day are cheapskates. Women know their worth, professionally and personally. Southen Beale in the comments.
More and more women who want it all are getting nothing.
As usual with most women, this Femarroid is delusional. Valentine's Day is inconsistent with the times.. it's a throwback to a time when women played the heterosexual counterpart to the traditional role they expect from men but are unwilling to interact in a traditional role themselves.
Instead of Valentine's Day, we need to replace it with 'Feminist Day' where the vast majority of American females get what they actually deserve- a box of dead flowers.. a far more accurate reflection for them.
Then we'll keep having Feminist Day every year until they change.
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