Cathy Young has an interesting post entitled, "The father question (and Mary Cheney's baby). Take a look.
posted by Helen at 6:16 PM
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
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7 Comments:
Oh goody!
I guess several civilisations and
thousands of years of naturally evolved sociology are wrong!
I fail to see the need for yet another set of unintended concequences for yet another Grand Social Experiment.
I'm sure another self supported utopian commune whould allow like minded folk
to impose their will on each other. I have YET to see any pundits of ths ilk offer to pony up for such an endevor, only suggestions of how to impose their selfish "deep thoughts" into the already perilious zero sum balance of the historicly reinforced truisms of sustainable community.
Oliana, the play (or movie) as well as the utopia, both come racing to mind here.
That was an interesting article and a subject that is worth thinking about and discussing. I was struck by how hard the author worked to avoid offending anyone. It's not PC and it's become almost embarassing for some people to say that fathers and mothers are important to children.
I believe that children benefit from having a male father and a female mother because men and women bring different perspectives and strengths to parenting. In today's world, many children live in single parent households. I consider gay couples as equivalent to a single parent household because - by definition - gay parents are both either male or female. The point is not to have multiple parents: Polygamy provides multiple parents. The point is for every child to have access to parents with male and female perspectives and a committed monogomous relationship that children can observe and, hopefully, emulate in their adult lives.
Some households use surrogates such as grandparents and uncles/aunts as a substitute for an absent mother or father. This is a good option in single parent households, but surrogacy is still just a substitute for the real thing - a parent who lives with the family as spouse and parent.
In theory, a heterosexual couple can have a male father who is effeminate or a female mother who is masculine. Similarly, in theory, a gay couple could have one partner who is feminine and one who is masculine who approximate the mother/father roles. Nevertheless, males and females typically bring different qualities and worldviews to parenting that single parents and gay parents have difficulty replicating.
Having one parent is better than not having any parents, and children shouldn't be ostracized or punished whatever their family structure. But I don't understand why a man or woman would choose a single-parent life for their children. As a parent, it would be easier to parent alone because my decisions would be unquestioned and final. That doesn't mean my decisions or lifestyle would be the best for my children.
i have no problem in gays, or lesbians having kids, so long as they have a role model for the sex of that kid, a male for a boy, and a female for a woman. as you said an uncle or an aunt of a close friend. its not as good i agree but.. its better than nothing.
i dont like kids, but if a boy needed someone to help explain the world i would help him.
without being able to see the other side of the situation, then sex bigotry will carry on..
drj, in this very topic i have been insulted, called a troll, and worse, for daring say what he and you have said. strangely a lot of the people who shouted the loudest were women..
perhaps they hate the truth, and they try to make it go away by not beleiving in it.. my dad died when i was 16, but i had my older brother as a role model.. went to an all boys school so i had older boys there to look upto.. but i also had my mum, a very strong woman, taught me that most women were like men, and they deserved respect like men deserve it.. then i saw real women and well.. they were unlike anything mum taught me, luckily i found a woman who was deserving of respect, and love.
generally its the woman who choses the single life, more divorces are started by women, its very very rare to have a child brought up by a man alone.
"I consider gay couples as equivalent to a single parent household because - by definition - gay parents are both either male or female. "
If you want to invoke tradition - not always. There is a reason that gay people are called Two Spirit - they have elements of both sexes.
But mostly I agree with you point. I would og further. Kids need ot be a round a rnage of personalities, male ones and female ones, linear, random, practical, visionary. Kids and their parents are not always a good fit - parents can't understand the kid, the kid can't satnd the parents (ungrateful little turd) but they get along great with soem other relative and learn the ropes form that person.
Kids need an extended family. It is a measuere of how denerate or society is and of how decayed our families are that we call a man father, mother and kids a "family". A family always used to be a couple and their children and grandchildren.
captdmo:
Living in the San Fran Bay area now for 20 years, I am with you.
"The meek shall inherit the earth" is not only counter-intuive, it will have to be effected by G_d to actually happen.
I have seen now almost every imaginable Domestic combination among acquaintances, friends, and clients in the last 20 years, save individuals who are domestically partnered with animals tho that must be out there also.
From a sheer difficulty to actually Live your life, hold a job or all consuming career; AND raise productive children, these people are at a tremendous disadvantage -- timewise, division of labor wise and larger family support network wise for long haul parenting.
We are the classic "nuclear family" tho I sold the Station wagon and the dog died last year. We have had two (out of four) very difficult and challenging kids to raise. We only made it by extreme determination, and Unbelievable Gargantuan support assistance and in one case direct intervention with two of our boys, by our extended family.
I don't think that support would have been the same if my wife was raising these very bright challenging kids with a Lesbian partner. The family is harnessed pulling in a different direction than that and getting involved in a domestic difficulty to help is very strange territory and hard to take action, ... not likely when the sexual paring creeps them out in the first place.
The oldest would have at one point called the Lesbian partner numerous names of diseased body parts then punched her out or worse. Unless she was a 250 lb. Harley riding Butch with a gun and martial arts skills she couldn't have handled him.
We did succeed in raising all the kids to successful, RESPECTFUL, productive citizens, but it has been difficult, so much so it has amazed our contemporaries.
For Mary Cheney's mental health I hope it's a girl and a compliant child.
The Earth's future will be ruled by the (National) society that is efficient and effective, "Classic Nuelcear" family fits that model, with involved connected grandparents and relatives when needed.
Cheers !
Econ-Scott
captdo said: "Oliana, the play (or movie) as well as the utopia, both come racing to mind here."
If you're talking of the play about a professor and student, it is called Oleanna.
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