Moving On Podcast
Our divorce podcast has been our most popular so far--but what do you do after a divorce or when a relationship fails? How do you move on and find the love of your life? Today we talk with relationship expert, Russell Friedman, who is the author of a new book, Moving On: Dump Your Relationship Baggage and Make Room for the Love of Your Life.
He discusses how we come to have relationship baggage that we carry into our next relationship, how to cope with your own relationship issues, and why you can't love someone into mental health and more.
If you have just been divorced, are divorced, or have just gotten out of a relationship and feel like, "What's the use, I'll just fail again?" then you owe it to yourself to listen to the podcast and see if you can glean some worthwhile advice on how to complete your prior relationship and find the person you are looking for.
You can listen to the podcast here (lo-fi version for dialup is here) or subscribe via iTunes. And you can get all of our previous podcasts at TheGlennandHelenShow.com.
He discusses how we come to have relationship baggage that we carry into our next relationship, how to cope with your own relationship issues, and why you can't love someone into mental health and more.If you have just been divorced, are divorced, or have just gotten out of a relationship and feel like, "What's the use, I'll just fail again?" then you owe it to yourself to listen to the podcast and see if you can glean some worthwhile advice on how to complete your prior relationship and find the person you are looking for.
You can listen to the podcast here (lo-fi version for dialup is here) or subscribe via iTunes. And you can get all of our previous podcasts at TheGlennandHelenShow.com.
posted by Helen at 10:00 PM
9 Comments:
I found the podcast somewhat interesting, although I did get a little bit bored with it by the end. I'm not sure I agree with Friedman entirely about the showing emotions stuff. Sure, I think it's important to grieve when grieving is appropriate, but I've known people who have spent what I considered to be excessive amounts of time grieving failed relationships and came out none the better for it. And sometimes they were grieving for relationships that they never had a good word to say about while it was going on. Personally, I don’t think I could grieve a horrible relationship so much as celebrate the fact that the misery is finally over. But perhaps that’s just me (I have a friend who spent a great deal of time grieving the end of a relationship with a women that he admits treated him horribly).
But I think Friedman ignores a topic that I would think is vitally important to the discussion: Why must people always be in relationships anyway? He discusses how we’re taught to bury our emotions, but fails to discuss how we’re taught that we must be in relationships in order to not be seen as some kind of failure (or possibly gay if you’re a single male over the age of thirty). My friends who have seen the most failure in relationships are those that have most felt that they needed to be in a relationship at any given time; those who had the greatest fear of being single. The reason for this, quite simply, is that they would date almost anyone just to be in a relationship, and they would stay in it long after it went into the crapper. Another common characteristic with these people is that they never end a relationship before starting a new one; rather they sort of ease out of one while easing into the nest (you could call it “cheating” if you like). Almost all my friends who fit this profile have been divorced, with the exception of one, and that might just be a matter of time, as she cheated on her now husband throughout their engagement with an ex-boyfriend.
However, my friends who have the best relationships or marriages are those that spent some appreciable amount of time single (a couple years or more in some cases). I think I could predict with fairly good accuracy how well a person's first marriage will go simply by one factor: how much, or little time they spent single after they began dating and before they got married (with the exception of those who marry the first person they date; then it's a crap shoot). So, my advice to anyone with a string of bad relationships is to take some time off. Learn to enjoy being and not fear being single (it’s not so bad and can actually be better than being in a relationship in some ways; it’s certainly cheaper). Not only are we taught not to grieve, but we’re taught that we need to get right back into the game after something bad happens, rather than sit on the bench for awhile. And sometimes the game isn't that much fun anyway.
Dr. Helen, you have the sexiest voice anywhere.
True - and yet the mind behind it lets one claim to just be "reading the articles."
Some of your usual commenters could use that book.
Ahh-the triumph of hope over experience.
Only 6 Comments ? !
Dr. Helen ! What gives ? !
Ok I leave two, First comment
My wife, just like insta-lawprof/instapundit,
an immpeccable judge of manliness and what makes great husband material ...
... believes that alas, good men ARE in short supply.
I have to agree.
She ALSO opines that even good men's libidos generally, (but not always) exceeds their charming wives. She therefore is supportive of polygamy
... But not in my case.
That public vow with 200 of her handselected witnesses of "forsaking all others till death us do part" with legal binding agreements with assets and future income as surety enforceable in the courts,
It's an attention getter.
For those with a rotten marriage to a career jerk or jerkess, it's a nightmare. (in the case of my 25 year career filladering soon to be EX sister-in-law, it's a license to steal)
Econ-Scott
The divorce podcast got 2 million downloads because of the guest, not the subject. This guest was not nearly as good. Let us know how many downloads this one gets.
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