Thursday, June 19, 2008

More Double Standards

RightGirl emails a story from the Daily Mail entitled, "How DARE anyone make excuses for fathers who murder their own children." Funny, "feminists" make this excuse for women who kill their kids all the time as does the writer of this article:

In fact, of all children killed by a parent, half are killed by their mothers. But the difference is that men, as shown by the examples above, are known to be able to kill out of spite.

When women kill their children, they almost always do it because they are mentally ill.

In most cases, they are suffering from post-natal depression; in others, they have undiagnosed diseases such as schizophrenia.

Indeed, so much is this the rule of thumb that even in Texas, where they love to hang 'em high and psychology is regarded with suspicion, the last four women who killed their children were spared death row by reason of insanity. Women, in short, love their children differently.

So men kill out of spite only and women kill because they are mentally ill. Has this writer ever heard of Susan Smith who allegedly disposed of her children so that she might have a relationship with a wealthy local man who had no interest in a "ready-made" family? The author of the Daily Mail article, Carol Sarler, may call Smith's actions "loving her children differently," I call them selfish, cruel and yes, spiteful.

And if mental problems should excuse these crimes, turnabout is fair play. Men who rape, it seems, have often been abused by females:

.....there is an alarmingly high rate of sexual abuse by females in the backgrounds of rapists, sex offenders and sexually aggressive men - 59% (Petrovich and Templer, 1984), 66% (Groth, 1979) and 80% (Briere and Smiljanich, 1993). A strong case for the need to identify female perpetrators can be found in Table 4, which presents the findings from a study of adolescent sex offenders by O'Brien (1989). Male adolescent sex offenders abused by "females only" chose female victims almost exclusively.

My guess is that some of these rapists who have been abused by women are mentally ill and this illness plays a part in their decision to rape. Maybe there should be some excuse for male rapists like "Abused by Female Rapist Syndrome" just as there is the "Battered Women's Syndrome" as an excuse for women who kill their husbands. We all know that it would be a cold day in hell before that happens. And perhaps it shouldn't.

But neither should we make blanket statements about women who kill or commit atrocious acts. To say that they always act out of mental illness is to imply that women cannot be held accountable for their actions, that they are children or too mentally disturbed to know what they are doing or to be held accountable. This view has its downside. If this is the case, then women are too crazy to vote, make serious decisions or engage fully in life as autonomous human beings. Women have a full range of human emotions and actions, just as men do. We should not automatically excuse behavior because the perpetrator is female nor should we always find men guilty because they are male.


Blogger Serr8d said...

Can we count the pre-born children feminists support killing? After all, abortion is a huge policy plank in the feminist narrative.

7:47 AM, June 19, 2008  
Blogger Trust said...

We've been programmed to think women are innately good and men are innately bad. So when men do evil things, we take it at face value and hold them responsible (as we should), but when a woman does it we look for something else to blame because it goes against the image.

This is similar to how many people turned a blind eye to molestation by Catholic priests--it went against their image of a priest. To be sure, it isn't an indictment of all priests, the vast majority of whom would never touch a child. (Note: I'm not anti-Catholic, it is about holding an individual accountable and not making excuses when behavior contradicts an image.)

I think it should be offensive to women that they are treated as children. Can't be accountable. Must take care of them. Etc.

8:00 AM, June 19, 2008  
Blogger Mike said...

It should--SHOULD--go without saying that someone who murders a child out of spite is by definition insane. I would go a step further and say that such "insanity" is a clinical way of saying that someone is evil, totally depraved and reprobate even.

9:26 AM, June 19, 2008  
Blogger Archivist said...

I don't know what mental illness she's referencing, but I suspect that a man who "snaps" is only different from a woman who "snaps" because he happens to fit the stereotype of a violent aggressor -- he's male. Any woman who does bad things is acting against type, so the stereotype goes, so she's given a free pass. Because, you see, women are morally superior to men. Right.

I, too, am sick to death of double standards that coddle even guilty women and punish even innocent men. Here is a perfect example that I've posted today: Teen is beaten, forced into hiding because of wrongful rape accusation; his accuser is granted lifelong anonymity Absolutely disgusting.

9:46 AM, June 19, 2008  
Blogger TMink said...

Her statistics are wrong. The first stats I found, from 2005, show that 75% of child neglect/abuse deaths are of children 2 and below, 73% are due to neglect, the gender stats of the murdered child is 50/50, and that mothers commit 57% of these murders while fathers commit 30%.

That took 5 minutes on the internet and it is in line with the statistics I have found in other areas.

Women are twice as likely to kill their children as men are.

Neglect is the most likely manner for a child to be murdered.

You have to seek this information, you are rarely given it.


9:59 AM, June 19, 2008  
Blogger wormme said...

Keep in mind that, unbeknownst to themeselves, these folks argue that men are stronger than women. Males kill children by choice, ie. are capable of refraining. But when poor lil' women do wrong, they shouldn't be held responsible for their actions.

Based on what he's expected to put up with versus what he's permitted to get away with, the ultimate American must obviously be a white, Southern, Christian, hetero bald guy.

But hey, just call me "Marlon" for short.

1:39 PM, June 19, 2008  
Blogger Johnny$ said...

Wow Dr. Helen,

Another, of many great, posts! Thanks.
I've never heard the stats about men who rape being abused by females before.
Sad that such basic information is not more available.

2:26 PM, June 19, 2008  
Blogger TMink said...

Marlon wrote: "the ultimate American must obviously be a white, Southern, Christian, hetero bald guy."

White - check
Southern - check
Christian - check
Hetero - check

Damn, I am not bald. But I am fat and have 4 kids. That should count for something!



4:40 PM, June 19, 2008  
Blogger zed said...

relevant to the comment about men sexually abused by women -

Men seek help for female sex abuse

Published: 19 Jun 08 14:10 CET

More and more men are seeking professional help to assist them in coming to terms with the sexual abuse they have experienced at the hands of women.

2:24 PM, June 20, 2008  
Blogger B. Durbin said...

Caleb Carr wrote a mystery novel called Angel of Darkness that deals with a child murderer at the turn of the twentieth century. When the alienist (psychologist) begins to suspect that the killer is a woman he has to contend with the popular notion that women are inherently nurturing and incapable of harm towards children— and at least one of the people advocating that view is a well-known suffragist. I understand this to be based on historical record, that women were seen to be incapable of such violence.

In other words, this is not a new idea— only the degree is different. Maybe in another hundred years we'll actually be able to accept the idea of women as full moral agents.

4:13 PM, June 20, 2008  
Blogger Cara said...

Obviously, I want children to have safe, functional parents. Preferably, two functional parents. That includes children who are still alive, but very deprived.

The child maltreatment stats are a touched up snapshot, AFTER many fathers are protected from parenting responsibility by being removed by CPS or the mother for being too violent. The majority of maltreatment deaths attributed to the mother alone are from neglect. Neglect is a long term problem. Surely, the father would notice and be expected to take some parenting responsibility himself? Oh! I get it. The fathers are not even around. The vast majority abandoned their parenting responsibilities even before the mother went under. Why should fathers be getting a free pass on neglect deaths, just because they are incarcerated, took off of their own free will, or were kicked out for being too violent? (Exception for the small number of fathers who made a reasonable, but unsuccessful effort)

Society does sympathize with some of the mothers because we know that many mothers are overburdened, and the fathers are not helping out. We see a lot of mothers taking the initiative to seek help when there are problems. We see more cooperation. We see women putting in a HUGE effort to try to get help to needy mothers, spending time examining the obstacles to improvement in order to remove those obstacles. We have no choice but to focus on the mothers because we cannot get any action from men to work on their side of the problem. Considering the very lopsided nature of the parenting burdens, the number of deaths would be higher if women had not taken the initiative on the prevention work.

If women have gotten too dysfunctional, the Centrists consider this the unavoidable result of the onesideness of the prevention work. Men have not taken substantial responsibility for addressing their own group's parenting capacity improvement needs. Men are content with letting fathers ditch their parenting responsibilities and relying on the touched up snapshot as some kind of indicator that the fathers are doing better with the parenting. The mothers get the burdens, and the fathers get the image boost. Men's idea of being proactive is to wait for people to die, express a lot of FAUXRAGE, and demand severe punishments. Everyone knows that punishment brings people back to life. Obviously, men are more interested in punishing people than they are in saving lives.

If men were to take some major responsibility for their group's parenting capacity self-improvement needs, I am very sure that society would applaud men and be inspired by such a bold initiative with your exceptionally challenging group.

So far, men's tactics have left me feeling very uninspired.

6:30 PM, June 20, 2008  
Blogger TMink said...

Cara, does it hurt when you bend over backwards to blame men that way?


10:44 PM, June 20, 2008  
Blogger zed said...

"If women have gotten too dysfunctional, the Centrists consider this the unavoidable result of the onesideness of the prevention work."

Can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs, eh?

That raises an interesting question - if the result of all this wonderful "prevention work" has been to make women too dysfuntional, what was it supposed to prevent?

And, if the "centrists" aren't concerned that their efforts have been making women too dysfunctional, why should anyone else be? Aside from women, that is. Unless they like being too dysfunctional.

The most practical way of dealing with dysfunctional people in one's personal life is simply to avoid them. That is becoming a very popular strategy for men regarding women who are too dysfunctional.

7:59 AM, June 21, 2008  
Blogger Trust said...

Helen said "If this is the case, then women are too crazy to vote"

I do find it both amusing and depressing at the same time, that the same feminists who want men severely punished for so much as looking or thinking about the legs of a short skirted woman at work are the same feminists who voted for President Happy Hands in a landslide. Indeed, if they held him to the same standard they hold wandering eyes in the workplace, we would have been spared his adolescent like shennanigans.

10:30 AM, June 21, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

cara, the only term I am allowed to use is "bullshit". However, I want you to know in no uncertain terms, I have many more.

I retract my earlier statement where I felt perhaps you married the wrong person, as way too many do. I now firmly believe it was your ex who married the wrong person. I have been convinced of that by your very own words.

11:04 AM, June 21, 2008  
Blogger Trust said...

"I retract my earlier statement where I felt perhaps you married the wrong person, as way too many do. I now firmly believe it was your ex who married the wrong person. I have been convinced of that by your very own words."

Two things here that I feel compelled to mention. I am concerned when someone tells someone else that they married the wrong person or another party is at fault without hearing the other side. It's not that one is reporting falsely, it is that everyone--myself included--has their own perception and bias to interject, and cannot articulate the other side accurately. I'm not trying to butt in or preach, but I wonder how many people have made problems worse by reinforcing one party without hearing the other side.

Second, in the words of author Michelle Langley, a good marriage is less about marrying the right person and more about treating a person right. I think there is great wisdom in her words.

Best wishes,

11:20 AM, June 21, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was told that I was as responsible as my ex for her coming down with bi-polar and BPD.

It is neither her fault, nor my own.
I do beat myself up for not recognizing and understanding mental illness. Had I understood many things much earlier, perhaps things may have ended up differently. I do know we would never have married. And then I would never have had the great fortune of being able to know and love my children.

I am overly sensitized to one who finds so much wrong with others, yet is unable to see their own reflection in the mirror. Another of my many shortcomings.

2:25 PM, June 21, 2008  
Blogger Trust said...

I would agree with much of the wisdom in your post, br549. It's always easier to find flaws in others than oneself. Yet, it's easier to correct ones own flaws than anothers.

3:09 PM, June 21, 2008  
Blogger Words Twice said...

“...the same feminists who voted for President Happy Hands in a landslide.”

"I'd be happy to give him (President Bill Clinton) a blowjob just to thank him for keeping abortion legal." - Nina Burleigh

That tells you everything you need to know right there.

3:56 PM, June 21, 2008  
Blogger Trust said...

@wt: "That tells you everything you need to know right there."

The greatest achievement of feminism is it gave scumbag men with no respect for women greater access to easy sex.

4:41 PM, June 21, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wisdumb? I'm not touting wisdumb. I'm just running my mouth. I'm one of the most opinionated people on the planet. Right or wrong. That's all.

I say what I believe, borne from personal experience mixed with heavy doses of attitude. I know I am most imperfect. Further proof of that, is my uncontrollable urge to let others know that they aren't perfect either. Mainly because there are so many people in this world who don't even realize it. The thought never enters their mind.

4:51 PM, June 21, 2008  
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