Thursday, January 13, 2011

Another male victim of domestic violence

Apparently a male victim was stabbed to death by a female suspect in Knoxville last night. But domestic violence is all about male on female violence...even according to the Tennessee Department of Health EMS manual. How many men have to be hurt or killed before Tennessee and other states see a problem?

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Blogger Cham said...

Intimate Partner Violence

9:52 AM, January 13, 2011  
Blogger Peregrine John said...

A lot more. A whole lot more.

Lucky us.

10:02 AM, January 13, 2011  
Blogger Ern said...

How many men have to be hurt or killed before Tennessee and other states see a problem?

All of us, I fear.

10:30 AM, January 13, 2011  
Blogger fred said...

While it is certainly true that women in the past and even up to the recent past have often been less than angelic, often times violent, crazed, clearly it is males, hormonally driven, responsible for most domestic violence. And yet, if one were to read only this site, one would come to believe that poor men are always victims and women always aggressive, mean, nasty, violent.

What happened to fair and balanced?

11:00 AM, January 13, 2011  
Blogger E. Steven Berkimer said...


you're an idiot. All of the major research on this topic, actually shows that DV is roughly 50/50. When it is a single person initiating/perpetrating DV, it is the woman who is more likely to do so.

You do realize, after all of your time here, that Dr. Helen realizes that men don't get a fair shake when it comes to this issue, so points out the side that is under represented in the National Discourse on the subject?

But keep your head buried in the sand. Meanwhile, people just like you contribute to men getting killed, because they can't be victims of women's violence. Well done.

11:10 AM, January 13, 2011  
Blogger TMink said...

ESB, nice facts. They are a real help when talking to reasonable people. fred has his reasonable moments, especially when Obama is not involved.


11:17 AM, January 13, 2011  
Blogger Cham said...

Instigating IPV might be initiated 50/50 by gender. But it is the males with their upper body strength that are much more likely to kill or cause injury in IPV cases.

11:25 AM, January 13, 2011  
Blogger Larry J said...

No one is arguing that some men aren't guilty of committing domestic violence. It happens all too often. However, according to some, ONLY men commit domestic violence and they've even gotten that written into policy. That simply isn't true - sometimes women commit domestic violence and they also need to be held accountable. Their actions shouldn't automatically be brushed aside by assuming "he had it coming" or "what did he do to provoke this?" That's blaming the victim which is just as wrong as asking "what did she do to provoke him?" when a woman is the victim.

As a datapoint, the first homocide this year here in Colorado Springs was a murder-suicide where the estranged wife was the shooter. While it may be relatively rare, it obviously does happen.

Iraq war vet killed by estranged wife in murder-suicide

Victim had been awarded Bronze Star
January 10, 2011 5:42 PM

A decorated Iraq war vet found dead in a west-side home Saturday was shot and killed by his estranged wife before she turned the gun on herself.

James Sevey, a petty officer third class in the Navy and the victim’s son, told the Gazette on Monday that he had spoken to Colorado Springs police and they told him that Pam Sevey shot and killed Aaron Sevey before committing suicide Saturday afternoon at 829 Skyway Blvd.

Colorado Springs police later issued a news release that confirmed James Sevey’s account.

Aaron Sevey, 48, whose death was ruled the city’s first homicide of 2011, died of multiple gunshot wounds, an autopsy by the El Paso County coroner found.

An autopsy found that Pam Sevey, 44, died of a single, self-inflicted gunshot.

Aaron and Pam Sevey were married about five years ago, James Sevey said, but had been separated for two years and were living apart. They had filed for divorce, but never went through with it, he said.

12:33 PM, January 13, 2011  
Blogger TMink said...

Also, men get caught because we do things in big, obvious ways. We tend to not poison, like women do, so more men get caught. Also, our culture expects men to be violent, so in a violent situation, it is cherchez le homme.


1:36 PM, January 13, 2011  
Blogger randian said...

Instigating IPV might be initiated 50/50 by gender. But it is the males with their upper body strength that are much more likely to kill or cause injury in IPV cases.

Irrelevant. Do you know why the crime of attempted murder exists? Because you shouldn't get a free pass for incompetence.

1:55 PM, January 13, 2011  
Blogger dr.alistair said...

so cham, in your view, because men are bigger and stronger generally, they should be somehow hobbled, or weighted, like in horse racing.

in the domestic abuse i suffered i was screamed at, spat on, kicked, had pans, phones, books and other objects thrown at me...all becaue i had different views on various domestic issues than she did.

most men would have retaliated in some physical way to stop such things...i guess i`m lucky that i could not react physically in such situations.

i grew up believing you didn`t hit a woman.

i would hazzard a guess that many domestic assaults stem from some guy trying to physically restrain a woman out of control, leading to injury to the woman.

and no cham, i don`t have stats on that one....

1:59 PM, January 13, 2011  
Blogger dr.alistair said...

and fred, are you vaginally endowed?

2:00 PM, January 13, 2011  
Blogger Cham said...

Hobbled? That sounds crazy.

2:11 PM, January 13, 2011  
Blogger JG said...

"Also, men get caught because we do things in big, obvious ways."


Something really bothers me about you including me in your "group".

3:36 PM, January 13, 2011  
Blogger DADvocate said...

And yet, if one were to read only this site, one would come to believe that poor men are always victims and women always aggressive, mean, nasty, violent.

If one were to only look at the MSM, one would come to believe that only poor women are always the victims. Oops. That's what most people do.

What happened to fair and balanced where it matters most?

BTW - Did Helen ever claim to be "fair and balanced?" Not that I remember. Although, she seems to do a good job of pointing out a lot of stuff that isn't fair and balanced.

Fred - are you one of those who thinks fair and balanced means splitting time/words/perspective 50/50 or can you see beyond that to seeing fair as reporting objective truth as well as possible rather than toeing the line of some sort of agenda?

In the larger picture, the reporting of and perspective of IPV is far from the objective truth.

3:43 PM, January 13, 2011  
Blogger Oligonicella said...

Cham --

"Instigating IPV might be initiated 50/50 by gender. But it is the males with their upper body strength that are much more likely to kill or cause injury in IPV cases."

Perhaps an easy remedy? Don't start the fight.

4:28 PM, January 13, 2011  
Blogger MB said...

"Perhaps an easy remedy? Don't start the fight."


She's ASSUMING all of the protections that come with being a woman.

But she's also ASSUMING that everyone is exactly equal.

One of those ASSUMPTIONS has got to give eventually.

Or maybe not ... because male chivalry is really an amazing and sicking thing. She will always have her cake and be able to eat it too.

5:00 PM, January 13, 2011  
Blogger Cham said...

Olig, what would constitute "not starting the fight"? Starting a fight can mean different things to different people. Some people might think a punch to the face is starting a fight where as others might think looking at them the wrong way is starting a fight and yet others might think that a comment about the way they wash the dishes is starting a fight.

6:03 PM, January 13, 2011  
Blogger dr.alistair said...

being reasonable is how to not start a fight, but when shit`s already flying it`s difficult to slow your roll.

i can remember one precise moment when my ex reached for me and i knew if i blocked the arm moving toward me her arm would break...and so i moved sideways quickly and she threw the phone that she had in her other hand at my head.

she missed.

n many relationships the precipitation point of a fight is pre-iinstalled into each partner, and is merely a timebomb waiting for the right moment to go off.

the incedent reports of dmoestic violence of our police are the legal record of this process at work.

it is odd though, that when two men who are known to eachother engage in a physical fight it is called consentual and both parties are gharged, whereas between a man and a woman it`s called domestic abuse and generally results in charges laid against the man only.

6:17 PM, January 13, 2011  
Blogger Comment Monster said...

I was living with a chick who had Borderline Personality Disorder. At the time, I thought she was just Hot As Hell. I knew nothing about BPD. After all kinds of bad behavior so bad that HAH didn't cover it, I'd given her a deadline to get out or pay rent.

As the deadline approached, she called the cops and to say I was abusing her. When they arrived and woke me up, it was obvious I'd been asleep for a long time and they didn't take me to jail, but gave me brochures and "good luck, guy!" looks.

I did punch her after that. Not that night, but after giving her warning that the next time she punched me I'd punch her back. That was a mistake. It calmed her down for about 2 months, but that was about all.

If a woman abuses you physically, don't try to save the relationship, don't try to warn her off, don't try to let her know that the only reason she gets away with this is because you let her.

LEAVE. Don't be romantic, don't try to save her, don't try to stare her down, LEAVE. So you're in love with her. LEAVE. That's your best chance of her coming back (she won't, but it's your best chance if you want her back, and a few weeks later you'll realize you don't).

Men express evil in criminality; wonmen express evil in relationships.

11:51 PM, January 13, 2011  
Blogger br549 said...

Yeah. BPD can be pretty wild.

6:32 AM, January 14, 2011  
Blogger TMink said...

Sorry JG. But I do think you post in big, dramatic ways. No?


10:28 AM, January 14, 2011  
Blogger TMink said...

Comment monster, good post. Glad you got out. You too Alistair.


10:30 AM, January 14, 2011  
Blogger Tom P said...

Women more often resort to attack from behind and weapons than do men, as I recall.

Example: My then-wife woke me from a sound sleep with a baseball bat across the ribs, then went into the bathroom to pass out, too much to drink. I went to ER with my son in tow (didn't want to leave him with Ma) and got treated. It was reported as a "household accident", because in that state at that time (20 years ago), I WOULD have been arrested for domestic violence. Not her. (Hopefully, that has changed).

This was typical of her actions on that front after she had established I would not swing at her - boiling water in the crotch from behind, coffee cup thrown, that sort of thing. She never attacked me without a weapon, and never directly - always when I was asleep or from behind. Makes for some pretty jumpy nights, even now.

Women are smart, they will take whatever advantage comes along. Against a bigger opponent, attack when he's not looking and use a weapon.

12:27 PM, January 14, 2011  
Blogger Sandeep said...

Slightly off-topic may be, but here is an instance of a brutal attack by a gang of girls :

8:15 PM, January 14, 2011  
Blogger Fort said...

Via Ace of Spades...

Prime Minister of Japan... Nothing compared to the wife of the PM of some asian country somewhere....

4:48 AM, January 15, 2011  

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