Christopher Orlet at The American Spectator (via Newsalert): "My accomplished friends seem to have traded children for success, while my ill-fated neighbors seem to have traded children for failure. As those of us who are parents -- and neither great successes nor great failures -- know, it was a bargain you never had to make."
posted by Helen at 6:48 AM
19 Comments:
single mothers with too many children, forced to work two minimum wage jobs and still unable to make ends meet, or, worse, like their irresponsible, absentee fathers.
Why not call the mothers out for being irresponsible? Not like they didn't know that sex leads to babies. Not that I'm defending absentee fathers, but this "poor single mom as passive victim, 'forced' to work at minimum wage and father as 'irresponsible'" meme is getting a bit tired. Two 14-year-olds getting it on are both irresponsible. If anything, the female, knowing she will likely be lumbered with all the 'forced' responsibility, ought to be a bit more careful!
I mean, really, who's actually worse? A 14-year-old boy with no control over himself (who expects that?!), or a 14-year-old girl who is basically a slut? It's not a double standard, it's nature.
Trying to reverse the double standard by shaming the guys here won't change the reality, and taking the shame off the girls will only give them permission to be sluts in the first place.
Thag, we need to stop subsidizing single moms so that the financial reality will require more responsibility. And for every dead beat dad there is at least one dad who is being kepy from his children by a vindictive mother.
Trey
You know, my children are my success.
I had my oldest daughter as my marriage to her mother was falling apart. Her mom went off birth control without telling me, and we had my daughter. Not my eldest daughter's fault by any means, she is a joy and a blessing that my family and I spent about $60,000 to keep her from being taken from me. She lives with me half time.
My wife and I tried to have kids, were told we could not, then looked into adoption. Just before we were going to start looking at photos of children to adopt the fertility clinic we used called and asked if we were interested in donor embryos. They said they would implant 2 and the odds were that one would "take" but they implanted 3 embryos and our triplets will be 8 in a couple of weeks. 8)
Certainly having 4 wonderful children is more expensive and has impacted my wife's and my financial success. But we both consider ourselves the most blessed of God's children. We went from thinking we would have no children to having 4. It is the defining blessing of our lives. I can think of nothing more gratifying or successful than that.
Trey
This comment has been removed by the author.
A shrink who counsels pregnant teens told me that there are more than a few single mothers who learned that getting pregnant was the only safe way to break up with a violent boyfriend. This allows his majesty to save face by telling his friends that it was her fault. He certainly can't be seen with a preg'r on his arm now can he?
I am with you 100%, Trey. I have two beautiful daughters and a wonderful son. They are the loves of my life.
And sure, the money spent from Pampers to sheep skins would put a couple Ferrari's in the garage with lots left over, somehow I was just born to be a dad.
Us lucky middle-aged middleclass single childless women learn very fast, our life is good and that we are blessed. We also understand that we are shunned and hated creatures. We keep quiet and enjoy our lives. If everyone else feels we are pathetic barren selfish spinsters we know better than to complain. We see those ladies in Aghanistan with their burqas and don't wish that to become us.
@Thag--are you related to Zog Jones of Farside fame? Always loved that one that showed the cave grafitti: "Zog Jones cooks his meat." :)
Yeah, I got it mixed up with the "Hey! Look what Thag do!" (Where the caveman has his meat on a stick in the fire while everyone else is burning their hands, lol).
Love that one, too... Come to think of it, I really miss that cartoon as my ex took all the books since they were his before we married.
On the topic: I'm really glad I had kids, but now that I'm a single forty-something and the kids have moved out, I'm enjoying that life as well. I was surprised there were so many commenters at the article who felt it incumbent upon themselves to criticize those who made different choices from themselves.
Cham = cougartown.
I don't care what anyone says, the culture with a high birthrate always crowds out and replaces the culture with the lower birth rate.
Ever wonder why Islam has stopped their suicide bombing strategy, and replaced it with a far more passive outbreeding strategy? Moreover, their new strategy makes it harder to decide which side is actually the better one to be on.
"They are all single and childless....She is now in full panic mode. Her biological clock is about wound down."
LOL! Hope they like vibrators and cats. I was getting a massage the other day. The lady said she was 42 and was 'dreaming of having children one day'. Yep. She REALLY is dreaming. She was telling me how she never felt comfortable enough to have a child with her 'partner'. Note. At 42 she has a 'boyfriend' that 'does not really want a baby' and she still thinks she is going to have a baby. It's really quite amazing.
Thag,
"Why not call the mothers out for being irresponsible?"
What? Hold a woman responsible for her actions? I have been calling on women on the irish freeman site to hold women accountable for their actions. I'm upsetting the wimminz enough that they have banned me TWICE in the last 5 days! LOL!! Women can't face the truth. That they are fully complicit in making slaves of us men. ;-)
globalman100,
LOL That is funny. Did you see my "Slut Shaming" post on the spearhead? I'd like to see what you think of it too. Also if you missed it on here, I was posting as "Eleanor" here before but thought I'd be less confusing and use this ID from now on. I just mention it because we had some discussions here before - I think I discovered the spearhead through you so, thanks for that - I really enjoy that site.
Hi Thag,
yes I did see it. I think it's great to see one more woman making a pretty clear statement of what is really going on. Women are simply not willing to hold other women responsible for their crimes like men have held men responsible for crimes for 10,000 years. That's actually all I asked for. The answer is no.
Most people don't seem too open to really turning their minds around - it's an uphill battle. When I first saw Roissy, talked to you, etc., I thought "jeez, what crawled up these guys' butts?" Now I see it - it was feminism, lol.
WRT this post, it's also a fact that boys and men are not going to feel shame because they had random sex - just ain't gonna happen! Girls and women on the other hand have to "reprogram" themselves to feel no shame over being loose - which is what feminism is for and why people will say it's turning women into men. It's not "teh evil patriarchy" that made it that way, it's our DNA. It has nothing to do with "fairness." It's like the 3-year-old crying "no fair, my sister got one more noodle than me!"
Thag, just a PS. Now I am single I am actually quite happy that women in the 30-35 bracket are desperate and 'sluts' now. Once a man refuses to submit to the 'legislation' of guvments 'feminism' is actually much better for men than woman. Look at russia for men.
I was talking to one of my lady friends the other day and she was moaning about how bad men where eg drunks etc. I told her "look at it from the mans point of view, it's better to get drunk and die early than it is to be married with kids". She did her "you are so cynical" again. LOL!
In the Ukraine the men die on average 10 years before the women. Indeed, if you read up about it there is something of a catastrophe happening from a population point of view in the Ukraine. The men are dying so young that the tax revenues are falling badly behind to pay for the women who are retired and will retire. They wonder how they will pay for these women. Well? November last year an area of Ukraine was sprayed by aeroplanes. I believe over 1M people contracted an 'unknown disease' but the symptoms were like pneumonic plague. That might be ONE way they are going to deal with the funding problem of old women. The demise pill has been talked about for a long time. Who's going to defend an old widow? Even worse. An old widow with no children?
Thag,
"I thought "jeez, what crawled up these guys' butts?"
Are you aware that one estimate places the number of men who kill themselves each year from abuse of the FC/CSA in Australia is 4,000? In a population of 20M? I was suicidal for a month. I know guys who have been suicidal for years. It's the stealing of our children that "crawls up our butts". (Not to mention I got minus eur40K from 25 years of work.. ;-) )
As for this topic? In Germany and the UK the level of 'sluthood' is through the roof. I was talking to guys I work with who are teaching me how to treat women. Apparently I am FAR too nice still.
I noted that I would generally buy dinner on a first date to actually talk to the woman and if I really liked her usually sex on the first date was normal. One of the young guys looked at me incredulously and said "You buy a woman food before having sex with her?" Yep. One dinner is "too much" now. The stories the young guys tell? Makes me look like a real 'conservative'. I've even had them seriously ask me "why do you spend you whole weekend with just one woman?" And I think "Damn, I spent 23 YEARS with just one woman!"
Post a Comment
<< Home