PJTV: Fighting for Political Diversity
Today, I talk with Policy Analyst Jessica Custer who is North Carolina State Chair of the Network of Enlightened Women (NeW), a group that is standing up to anti-male bias and anti-conservative messages that are rampant on college campuses across the US. This group of conservative women believe that women are not victims, men are not oppressors and (shock) that most men are decent guys.
Think you're dreaming--is it possible that women are actually standing up to the biased feminism in colleges these days? It's reality. Watch the show and meet Ms. Custer, who has some really interesting things to say about women, feminism, the hook-up culture and fighting for political diversity. And how conservative men can get a date.
You can watch here.
Labels: PJTV, political activisim
posted by Helen at 3:01 PM
47 Comments:
"And how conservative men can get a date."
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Sorry, but that just absolutely reeks of the drug-dealer (with sex - women) giving condescending advice to the drug addict (men, either in reality or in the fantasy of the women here).
I'll tell you what men have to do: Realize what women really are.
Realize that sex is just sex, and don't overpay for it (signing on the dotted line to fork over everything + monthly payments whenever Sugar Dumpling decides you are no longer exciting enough - or chasing her enough - is overpaying). By the way, what I just described is indistinguishable from marriage.
What men have to do is quit giving women pretend positions in the workforce. Quit pretending they are doing something if they are not. And quit being the "breadwinner". Either they earn their money by REALLY offering something that society can use, or they sell sex (the age-old way that women get their money). And don't overpay for it. They are not goddesses up on a pedestal, they are human beings with a stinky cunt.
tether......eloquent as always.
points well made though.
i think some women are striving to be real, though it is tough when some men insist on paying-to-play and offering candy to little girls.
grown women don`t behave that way. they have their own resources and are willing to play nice.
it may come as a suprise to some that there are women who dislike lawyers and courts as much as some men. they may be rare in modern america and difficult to find, as they aren`t in bars or hanging around where all the pay-to-play boys are.
they are mostly working or out with friends or with family.
the way to find women like that is to be real and honest and accepting of thier choices when showing interest, and not falling back on the four "b"s when reacting to her initial interest.
the four "b"s are bullying, bragging, buying and bullshitting.
these four strategies in combination or individually will signal a money girl that she has a boy on the hook.
a real woman will just hand you your hat.....
Ah, yes, that wonderful new power-word, "balance". It's what all good women want in 2009. In the late 80s I was able to learn all about balance. I was working in a sales office and our team was trying to submit a large government RFP (request for proposal) that was due on a Monday morning. The boss called us all into his office on Friday and told us that our team would have to work one day of the weekend to finish up. One of our team members was a woman who was trying to achieve balance. She replied, "You all can work on the proposal on Saturday, I have a son." And that was exactly what happened. Ah, balance.
"She replied, "You all can work on the proposal on Saturday, I have a son." And that was exactly what happened."
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Yup.
Everyone else picks up for their Drama-Queen picture of the world that Oprah told them about. And you don't dare say anything about it - especially not men.
There is so much money flowing to women that is not based on doing anything for society. I'm not just talking about taxpayer money going towards diversity coordinators and women's studies professors and all that - take a look at what is flowing with alimony and the portion of child support that is really alimony and the family transfer of wealth and divorce settlements towards women and the net flow of money in dating and informal prostitution. Tens or hundreds of billions of dollars (alimony alone is 7 billion per year).
Well, Tether, that wasn't exactly the end to that story. Subsequent to the balanced weekend for this lady, the manager proceeded to mentally torture her until she quit voluntarily, 3 months shy of her being vested in the 401K plan. After which, she found work at another company for a fraction of the pay she was receiving at our company. The lady should have just worked that Saturday like everyone else and saved herself a lot of grief. 4 years ago I had an opportunity to fire an administrative assistant who was more concerned with her version of balance than getting the job done. I'm not sure these conservative ladies understand the challenge when it comes to balance.
The most difficult challenge for many, many, too many women is continuing to want equality after they actually get it.
who is it that treats women like prostitutes?
this is a two-handed game, after all.
Here you go, Tether. I thought of you when I saw this. :)
"who is it that treats women like prostitutes? this is a two-handed game, after all."
More than two. I was just thinking about this yesterday.
Alot more women are complaining about their partner's sexual demands - being expected to model perversions he picked up from pornos.
Its our Culture that teaches us to treat women as sex workers.
Its our Culture that teaches us to treat women as sex workers.
That is utter bullshit. Our culture is a gestalt of the people within it. We aren't "victims" of our culture; our culture IS us.
Women have sexual desires as men do. If anything our culture is still stuck in the dark ages that women are victims of sex, not partners in it.
Thank God for women like them! We need more of them.
fen, when i said two handed i was saying men and women equally.
the demands some men put on some women are cruel and unusual.
While this is nice and all, I really think us guys need to just be a bit smarter than they are when dealing with women (you know, think with our brains instead of our dicks). We should be able to handle ourselves and not have to be defended. I think that's part of the problem. So many guys are totally neutered these days that they just put up the white flag in relationships.
I agree with several people who have posted before. I think the bullshit will stop when men decide they collectively won't play this nonsensical game. Until then...
Oh, and Cham, it has nothing to do with "balance." Feminists want domination, nothing less.
blahga
It's going to be "until then..." for a very long time. From my observations men just don't do collective.
"And how conservative men can get a date."
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I noticed that too.
Oh Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy. If I follow her advice to the letter, maybe I'll get to pay everything for her nice night on the town. And then, if I do everything right and pay some more for vacations and stuff, I may get a chance to enter into an arrangement in which she has a heavy-duty stake on my assets and earnings (i.e. marriage).
Frankly, I give "traditional" women a wider berth than others today. Sometimes wanting a "traditional" or "conservative" relationship simply means she doesn't like to work and wants to put the burden on a pack mule.
I used to think I was conservative, or at least conservative libertarian. I'm questioning that more and more, because fundamental Christians can just as much be nut cases as people on the far left, and conservative women can sometimes do more damage to your life when things go wrong than liberal women (or middle-of-the-road women).
I think the bullshit will stop when men decide they collectively won't play this nonsensical game.
The rational side of most men seems to shut down when presented with an attractive woman who treats them with the slightest lack of arrogance and contempt. I don't think your day will come.
Regarding resistance on the part of conservative women to the "hook-up culture":
I think part of the resistance is similar to the resistance that General Motors shows when Hyundei and other cost-cutters (or even market dumpers) come in.
General Motors can no longer sell its low quality crap for a high price.
And women can no longer manipulate men as easily - or get them to marry - when the product they use to manipulate is flooding the market at a lot less cost.
JG: Why, I thought for sure you'd want to pay for her dinner and movies, open her doors and then marry the woman. Once you are married she may or may not want to work, she may or may not want to have kids. With these conservative womens' program life becomes a win-win-win game. If I get these kinds of options just by choosing to be a conservative I want to know where I sign up. JG, I am going to be going through a door shortly, you know what you have to do (For some reason all the muscles in my arm seem to have disappeared overnight).
Actually, I usually open doors for women out of habit.
Yesterday, I was waiting by a door for someone, and a middle-aged woman came up with a bunch of junk in her arms. I was standing by the door so I pushed it open and held it for her. I think anyone would do that for anyone else of any gender.
She simply looked straight ahead like I was a potted plant in the corner and went through the door. I said, "You're welcome" after her, and she just kept moving.
I help older women and handicapped women and men and anyone else who isn't Cute Young Thing (TM) thinking I am doing it to try to hit on her. Most people are thankful, some are having a bad day. I will not help Cute Young Thing.
JG, don't feel bad, Cute Young Thing doesn't thank me either when I hold the door open for her.
cute young thing is a narsissist waiting for the world to land on her...she just don`t know it just yet...so she groups together around the starbucks with her friends and talks too loud and get in everyone`s way and look right through you and texts and talks and giggles and generally looks like an ad for her favorite clothing store...and there is already one tired old man in her life footing the bill, so why would you want to take over?
anyway, there is no a priori political ideology that will beat the entitlement out of a spoilt little brat. the only thing that will do that is experience....and a good heart...and the intelligence to realise where the game goes wrong for people.
the chatty cathy in the video is trolling for affluent men at the meet-and-greets like the rest of the debs in washington. she`s a power broker like the rest. she has parsed the curve and figures she`s going to ride it in....
The rational side of most men seems to shut down when presented with an attractive woman who treats them with the slightest lack of arrogance and contempt. I don't think your day will come.
http://roissy.wordpress.com/2008/10/07/sexbot-update/
http://fbardamu.wordpress.com/2009/09/22/the-apocalypse-is-coming-but-not-how-you-think/
Perhaps you should think again?
N.E.W. sounds great. I will turn my daughter on to the video.
Trey
Aurelian,
I totally agree. Men follow leaders, but it's not the same as a collective. Yes, it'll be a very long time, indeed if ever. Im the meantime, I'll look out for myself.
Randian,
Actually, I was going to add this in my original post, but I didn't have time to go into more detail. Thanks for adding that, because that's a crucial point. Men today seem to want to be simple breeding stock. You know the old saying, "be careful of what you wish for..."
I chortle when I see a group of women (or men) that call themselves Enlightened. Most would-be enlightened folks in Zen or other forms of Buddhist thought work mighty hard to get to that stage at some point way down the road, if ever.
Years ago, held a door open for a girl student entering classroom building. She looked at me and said I was patronizing. Next girl just behind her glanced at me and smiled and thanked me. Lesson learned: do what I felt was the right thing to do and not worry about what others think of me.
"Alot more women are complaining about their partner's sexual demands - being expected to model perversions he picked up from pornos."
I have a theory on this "frat guy syndrome." As marriage has been destroyed by relativism and the law, each generation of boys without fathers becomes further hyper-masculinized - boorish, sex-obsessed, competitive, addictive and emotionally lost. This in turn has normalized extreme behaviors like the watching of hardcore pornography, binge drinking and workaholism.
I'd like to suggest that the girls don't tolerate this crap by sleeping with these guys, but they have also grown up in broken households that didn't model sound romantic behavior.
And most if not all men have been steeped into this through friends even if they had a stable, sound upbringing.
Also, young adults seem to be maturing at later and later ages these days, so they are spending large chunks of their twenties still acting like teenagers. So it's no surprise an adult man might think it appropriate to ask his lady to do ____ (fill in the blank).
Cham,
Your work-on-Saturday story could apply equally well to young singles vs thirtysomething marrieds as it does to men and women. We young people, especially in service fields like restaurants or medical care, always get the short shaft when holiday and weekend work is assigned. There's always an implicit or explicit "well I have kids so I have better things to do on the weekend." As if we don't have families that want to see us on Christmas.
If they just said "seniority matters" it would be one thing, but we have to be dragged along on a guilt trip.
As has been alluded to on this thread, there is a belief pounded into boys that girls are sugar and spice balancing out the boorish male ethic, and if a girl is contemptuous or rejects a boy, he must have done something wrong. And he must re-educate himself into how to suck up to girls so as to gain their favor and "win" at life. And if you have displeased a woman, you have failed society. God help you if she cries.
It takes a lot of us a long time to wake up from that fairy tale to the fact that there are good-quality women and bad-quality, and the way a woman treats you is 95% a reflection on her attitude, demeanor and character and 5% on the man's. Some women enjoy rejecting men for fun. Some enjoy making men jump through hoops so they can feel "special."
And some actually want to be a normal person, and not waste time with people whose company they don't enjoy for the sake of extracting free dinners or attention or playing out an Electra complex.
For those who are guessing, I was indoctrinated into that poisonous viewpoint, but being geeky and intellectual it was difficult to hack. (The shallow girls don't go for brainiacs unless they've used it to make money.)
Things improved when I stopped assuming their rejection was a reflection on me, and when I began acting like they should enjoy my company rather than acting like I was lucky they spoke to me.
Topher says:
there is a belief pounded into boys that girls are sugar and spice balancing out the boorish male ethic
For some men yes. You see it all over Helen's comments. The anger at women for sometimes being less than ethical. The fact of the matter is that women just like men are not sugar and spice, and never were. Women are human with all the good and bad that go along with being human. Life becomes so much easier if one doesn't expect perfection and assumes that other people may have faults and may let us down every once in a while.
"The anger at women for sometimes being less than ethical."
BZZZZZZT. Here it is...the stock response to any man objecting to the female entitlement attitude that pervades society - he's "angry." Thanks for playing.
"Women are human with all the good and bad that go along with being human. Life becomes so much easier if one doesn't expect perfection and assumes that other people may have faults and may let us down every once in a while."
The problem is that a LOT of women believe that they are beyond reproach, and the herd mentality that appears to infect packs of women means that even seemingly decent start agreeing with their friends' outrageous behavior. Several times I've said to a female friend "you know your friend is being a jerk, if a guy did that you would want to cut his onions off" and instead of admitting it, she goes "teeheehee, well it's funny because she's a girl, teeteetee."
They are making it hard for their own kind, though - the more they screw over men, the more boorish a-holes they create (men learn to play their game) that make life difficult for the good women.
Topher, get a grip. You need to go back and reread my comment on the first part of your response.
people have faults and let us down once in a while....
i guess it depends what they let us down over, huh?
she can be late for dinner and be excused, but flirting with the other boys to see what you`ll do is a yellow card.
Topher, Cham made a point of stating that male/female (I'd include young/old and all other classes of people) are not and have never been wholly good folk That's a truism. It's also important to remember that not all of them are wholly bad folk either.
I agree with her outlook, don't get angry with the princess/douche, reject them and don't let them infect your thoughts. Look for decent folk.
Cham,
"The fact of the matter is that women just like men are not sugar and spice, and never were. Women are human with all the good and bad that go along with being human."
There is truth to what you say. And if it was just that, then I'd say that would be the end of it. However, feminism has this really odd notion that women are somehow "better" as a gender than men are: men are evil douchebags while women will enlighten and change the world. You can't deny that. It's all over feminist books, articles and the blogosphere.
How many times have you seen "if only women were in charge of things?..." It's a bullshit notion because there are some smart men and women and there are some incredibly stupid men and women.
A further problem is that feminists have permeated the educational system and have presented these ideas into the classroom. And if you throw enough shit on the wall, some of it will stick. Therefore you have an entire generation right now mostly of guys who have no father figures and act like animals for the most part and women who are pretty sadistic and man-haters.
Bear in mind that these teens and very young adults will (and I'm assuming a lot here) be bearing the next generation. I shudder to think of what those kids will do.
Having said all that, why would I honestly want to get into a relationship and have kids? Not hating, but yeah, I'm very distrustful.
Oligonicella,
"I agree with her outlook, don't get angry with the princess/douche, reject them and don't let them infect your thoughts. Look for decent folk."
Maybe, but the fact is that it's a long crap shoot today. Why even bother chancing it when I can stabilize my life on my own and write my own destiny?
Besides, in this economic climate pissing your money away on a mere possibility is kinda silly at best.
I think these young women are courageous and doing a great job.
As a recently college-graduated male, I can tell you that the environment is incredibly hostile towards any notion of traditional gender roles. The "hook-up culture" is really short-hand for describing a amoral, market-mentality sexual culture where women pretend to be men, a la Sex in the City. Irony, cynicism, and detachment are the rule, and anyone seeking real intimacy or honor is ridiculed.
There are plenty of men and women who would want to move back to a more traditional dating environment, but men cannot make the first move - they would be branded as repressive, reactionary sexists. These women, by being women, can avoid these criticisms. But even so, they are risking criticism as gender traitors. One can easily imagine one of these women targeted for the same treatment as Carrie Prejean or Sarah Palin.
Encouragingly, they are holding themselves up as both judges and prizes for gentlemanly behavior. This will inspire like-minded men to reform themselves and win them, in the traditional courtship pattern. Unfortunately, this also poses a direct threat to gender-androgyny-agenda. Expect them to react strongly.
I have a theory on this "frat guy syndrome." As marriage has been destroyed by relativism and the law, each generation of boys without fathers becomes further hyper-masculinized - boorish, sex-obsessed, competitive, addictive and emotionally lost.
I agree. Boys growing up without fathers don't see how adult men should behave.
The converse of this is girls growing up without fathers don't see how adult men should treat women.
The result is, when grown up, they end up being a gross caricature of both masculinity and femininity, respectively.
Cham - thanks for the 80s tidbit. Now I know you are at least 45 years old.
I agree. Boys growing up without fathers don't see how adult men should behave.
How should adult men behave? It's all relative.
"I agree. Boys growing up without fathers don't see how adult men should behave.
The converse of this is girls growing up without fathers don't see how adult men should treat women.
The result is, when grown up, they end up being a gross caricature of both masculinity and femininity, respectively."
I understand you are addressing my post about guys, but let's not forget the other side: boys don't see how an adult woman should behave so they don't know how to pick 'em, and girls don't get good role modeling for their own romantic lives.
Based on my youth experience, a household headed by a divorced woman with only daughters is guaranteed to be a hive of man-hatred. However, the daughters discover that they like men, but with the programming they have received, they can't make good choices and fall for the worst sort of lowlifes.
This is just what I saw from people I knew growing up.
I find the situation analogous to those raised to think sex is bad and evil, and instead of proceeding along a reasonable sexual development, they swing the other way and become a (male or female) slut.
Women are now prizes to be won by men???? Good luck with that.
"There are plenty of men and women who would want to move back to a more traditional dating environment, but men cannot make the first move - they would be branded as repressive, reactionary sexists. These women, by being women, can avoid these criticisms."
I live in a big American coastal city with lots of young people, so maybe that changes my exposure, but all the young women I know clamoring for a return to "traditional dating" have really had enough of equality and want to be "courted" and get freebies from men.
Rather than believing in a social "division of duties," they are motivated by a distorted image of a bygone era where they would be treated as objects of pursuit and solely as receivers, unexpected to work OR contribute in the home, and able to leave the household whenever they feel like it - and feel proud of themselves in the bargain.
"Women are now prizes to be won by men???? Good luck with that."
Cham, I am in agreement...it is a flaw of both the "traditional courtship" crowd and the "I demand that men finance my lifestyle" crowd. Buying a woman, or the similarly-operated prostrating for one, is demeaning to both sides.
Can't everybody just find someone they enjoy being around and be done with it? What's with the "winning" and the "chasing" and all the rest of it?
Originally Altoids: I have a young female friend who spent a year trying to land a big fish. For you she'd appear to be the ideal woman, a real prize, moral, upstanding and chaste. She was chasing (or allowing herself to be chased) by a remarkably successful and rich banker. About once a month she'd tell the banker she had to visit her family out of state for the weekend. In reality, she was sort of visiting her family, she'd wave at them as she passed their house and went off to see her bad-boy cookie on the side where she would have lots of amoral sex and get plowed.
This lady's behavior was too abhorrent for me to continue being a friend to her, but her well-to-do boyfriend must have finally figured it out. From Facebook it looks like he dumped her on Friday. Please, watch out for those carnival prizes, because once you marry them and they have your prodigy they are very difficult to rid.
i have a theory; it states that some people see money as a way of getting people to do things. further, that some of these people see money as a way to get people to do things they wouldn`t normally do.
i see this reflected in the way some treat serving staff. like an inconvenience in the way of getting what they want.
i see this form of thinking applied toward women by some men. they work feverishly to earn money and then spend it on attractive women...most of whom wouldn`t piss in their mouths if thier teeth were on fire otherwise.
my friend who believes the stripper is in love with him....out of all the chumps who fold bills up and stick them in her g-string, he thinks she thinks about only him.
jeez.
two years that i`ve known him, this has been going on.
he took her to jamaica last year...and her friend and her friend`s daughter.
and he said to me recently that she wants to go again this year...and that he`s damned if he`s going to pay for it again.
i laughed out loud.
he was a stop smoking client of mine and so the money he saved not smoking cigarettes easily pays for a trip to jamaica once a year....and he thinks he`s found true love.
this is the same girl who had an american football player wanting to marry her, and a hockey player, and a senior politician...at least that`s what he tells me.
and he brags that he`s paid her surgery bills and condo payments and so on, yet she`s doing exactly the same thing to other men right now, but because when he goes to the club she comes running over and jumps on him and all the other guys sit and watch...he thinks he`s in love.
and you know what, he might be right.
she doesn`t nag him or ask him to do the dishes or put the garbage out or ask him where he was when he was out with the boys or expect him to sleep in the same bed with her every night and get bent if old girlfriends show up suddenly.
funny old world.
i`ll take the nagging and the same girl every night for a thousand, alex.
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