What's wrong with being a "himbo?"
I was looking at my hotmail account and came across the ridiculous caption, "Is he a himbo?" at MSN. According to the urban dictionary, a himbo is the male version of a bimbo, whore, or slut. I stupidly clicked on the article (I know, I know, don't do it) and read the following:
So, let's get this straight. If women play the field, they are liberated. If men do the same, they are pigs with no self-respect. Give me a break. The guy who wrote the article is either jealous of these guys or has been so indoctrinated to telling females what they want to hear that he has to diss his own sex to make himself feel important. Either way, I say, if you're male, single, and upfront with the women you date, let your inner himbo shine if you're so inclined.
It's a good thing I was reading the tabloids at my doctor's office, because after looking at the latest Us Weekly and In Touch, I felt like I could use a heavy dose of antibiotics. I'm not sure when it hit me, but somewhere between the picture of Lance Armstrong holding hands with Kate Hudson (not long after he'd stopped canoodling with Ashley Olsen) and the snapshot of John Mayer catching some rays with Jennifer Aniston (mere months after telling Jessica Simpson he wanted to see other Wonderlands), I started to feel a little queasy.
I'm no stranger to the porcine habits of men, what with being one and all. But doesn't it seem like these guys are going a little beyond piggy lately?...
Or perhaps these guys should take a cue from Cary Grant: By all accounts, he was the Ho of Babylon, and yet his legacy is all rakish charm and sex appeal. It's a matter of style.
Maybe I give Cary Grant a pass cuz he made Notorious, while Matthew McConaughey made Failure to Launch. Whatever. I'm just saying, guys — have a little self-respect, OK? Seriously. Keep your shirts on. Live strong.
So, let's get this straight. If women play the field, they are liberated. If men do the same, they are pigs with no self-respect. Give me a break. The guy who wrote the article is either jealous of these guys or has been so indoctrinated to telling females what they want to hear that he has to diss his own sex to make himself feel important. Either way, I say, if you're male, single, and upfront with the women you date, let your inner himbo shine if you're so inclined.
Labels: Male Bashing
posted by Helen at 1:24 PM
45 Comments:
Himbos! Bro-Hos! Keep your shirts on! Live strong!
How is a bro to respond to this? Then I see it’s from a bro in Los Angeles. Never mind.
Uh - isn't this the type of behavior that women have been railing about for decades, and the same model that they (radical feminists) are trying to tell girls that they should be able to follow with pride? Maybe I'm missing something here.
Wayne,
Have you noticed that men are now treated as 1950's women? Keep your legs together, don't cause any trouble, keep your dignity and self-respect intact. Luckily, it's backfiring since most men don't read this crap or they ignore it. However, it is sort of odd from a psychological and cultural standpoint that the men who are indoctrinated and the women who castrate them are such prudes when it comes to men's sexuality and into freedom when it comes to women's.
Actually, I wanted to make a point similar to that, but I couldn't figure out how to say it. Thanks.
And of course men ignore it. We ARE unrepentant horndogs, after all. Heh.
I kind of see this issue from both sides.
Dennis Prager always mentions how men are always cautioned to fight their natures. Namely, that they cannot go around fighting every man and humping every woman that they see. That's a man's nature. Always has been.
But today women aren't EVER told to control their female natures. Being a "bitch" is somehow confused with being liberated or empowered. It's not. It's a character defect. The same goes for women's imposing niceness and trying to over-control the non-destructive rambunctiousness of boys in their charge. They try to change little boys into little girls. This urge must be stopped just as surely as the man's baser urges.
Without people of both genders controlling their baser instincts, society will not function well. Unfortunately, only one half of the population is getting any message at all on that front.
Hollywood antics aren't much of a reflection of the rest of the world. But you're point is good. I've always loved Carey Grant.
the men who are indoctrinated and the women who castrate them are such prudes when it comes to men's sexuality
I find this to be especially true. The men I know in this category walk around on eggshells trying not to crossover the "line."
...fighting every man and humping every woman that they see.
Samantha - I must disagree. Guys prefer to avoid fighting. The results can interfere with humping every woman we see. Plus, there are a few women we, or at least most of us, don't want to hump.
A himbo?
Speaking as an ex-English teacher, the only thing that offends me more than feminism and misandry is the mutiliation of the English language.
That said, and while acknowledging that I love sex just as much as the next guy, I have a very good reason from keeping my pants zipped.
One sperm cell = 20%
One gold ring = 50%
Invest wisely.
I always thought it was a membo on Seinfeld.
Trey
You should go for a test drive before you buy the car.
This subject seems to come up more and more in my blog travels, although many times it comes up more as "double binds" or double standards that men object to. I personally feel that this is part of an ongoing "war" against the male sex drive.
The fact that the current and possible future state of men in society closely mirrors the worst "Patriarchy" scenarios espoused by feminists the world over is, of course, merely coincidence.
"Have you noticed that men are now treated as 1950's women..."
Astute point. Have you noticed that "liberated" women today act just like the most sexist, brazen and classless men of the 1950s? It would appear, at least to me, that the women's movement has succeeded in morphing women into the very creatures that they once detested.
Reminds me of a line from The Untouchables, spoken by Elliot Ness (Kevin Costner) when he confronts the judge during the climax:
"I have become what I beheld, and I am content that I have done right."
How childish social movements become, when after they have achieved their aim they continue to fight on, inescapably becoming a perversion carrying a vaunted flag.
The history of the word is interesting to me.
1919, "fellow, chap," from It. variant of bambino "baby," first in Italian-accented theater dialogue. Originally especially "stupid, inconsequential man, contemptible person;" by 1920 the sense of "floozie" had developed (popularized by "Variety" staffer Jack Conway, d.1928).
So bimbo was originally masculine! I never heard it used that way. I would hear it used to refer to a young woman, kind of a Gracie Allen figure. The sexual connotation is new to me, maybe I thought that bimbo was a stupid girl you could take advantage of, but I never conflated bimbo with floozie.
Looks like I missed it!
Trey
"Mimbo" was created on Seinfeld.
Elaine's boyfriend was a male bimbo= mimbo.
I say, if you're male, single, and upfront with the women you date, let your inner himbo shine if you're so inclined.
Preach it, sister!
Now if y'all will excuse me, I need to get back to spreading my seed to the four winds.
I do get a kick out of articles about men, written by a man, in an degrading attempt to appeal to female readers. It's sort of like a dog who rolls on his back and urinates.
What's ironic is, for all the talk of how men should be gentleman and not "himbos" as he puts it, women in generally tend to be sexually drawn to bad men. It's a free country, and anyone can be attracted to anyone they want, but the writer is kidding himself if he thinks this is appealing to women. As PJ O'Rourke once pointed out when accused of being a Nazi, no woman ever fantasized about being ravished by a liberal.
To Trust:
I think that it's more accurate to say that women tend to be sexually drawn to men who are socially dominant. However, this preference very often changes when she discovers that bitter truth that the same man who can dominate her enemies and/or gain benefits for her can also dominate her. I've seen women, especially women in their early 20's, become frustrated, insulted and incredibly vicious because they couldn't control their "bad boy" boyfriend.
As for being a "himbo", it has always seemed like an awful lot of work, just for the sake of a little variety.
Not sure if I'm a himbo, but...
Who's talked about this aspect of Obama's health care: Will he penalize people who play sports because they are more likely to be injured and require expensive health care?
http://mrpunkykitten.blogspot.com/2008/10/obama-to-outlaw-soccer.html
samantha..for women, one of the strongest "base instincts" seems to be the drive for money and status regardless of what it does to other people, including their boyfriends/husbands. The female lust for these things seems to be at least as strong as the male sex drive; yet women are not encouraged to moderate this lust in any way--quite the contrary.
It's very peaceful, being old enough not to worry about the mating wars.
Back when I was in high school around 79-83, I used to sneak around and read the articles in my mom's Cosmo.
To this day I still wonder why that strain f feminism seemed to have as its goal turning women into behaving like the men who took who used women.
What they never seemed to realize was, that in becoming more promiscuous like the womanizers, they were actually playing into the hands of those womanizers & users.
Bizarre.
Here's another feminist sexual double standard -- oral sex.
Basically a man isn't worth a crap as a lover unless he's sufficiently interested and talented in doing it for his woman (which is more or less true IMO) -- and she might need be assertive to whip him in to shape.
The double standard?
The advice to women who are uptight about reciprocating -- "Just say no." Nothing whatsoever about a need to acquire skill.
All you himbos out there, do be nice and blatant about it. I'm selecting for other traits.
And there you have it. Some of us are only interested in girls like Valerie.
bimbo, whore, slut: negatives for promiscuous women.
rake? womanizer? himbo? -- there's no good negative word for promiscuous men.
Successful? ... because the goal of most young men is to get laid, a lot.
The double standard is bad, but Dr. Hellen, even honest promiscuity is bad/ unrealistic. The one-night stand game does NOT include any disclaimers:
"oh, by the way, I'm planning on humping you tonight, gone in the morning (and no respect)".
The fantasy of a future together, from both sides, is seldom broken by honesty. The best is to not talk about it all, merely 'be' in the present.
Dr Helen-
Excellent article as usual. But i have to respond to TMink at 2:07 who pointed to Gracie Allen as a bimbo. Gracie was a ditz or an airhead, not a bimbo. A bimbo implies loose sexuality while Gracie was far from that. Marilyn Monroe was a bimbo. Jean Harlowe was a bimbo but don't tar Gracie with that brush.
mike --
Bimbo goes both ways, more often just an airhead. But I agree with you anyway, Gracie was a genius.
Helen --
Pleeeeeeese don't go with the new Blogger format. It's a royal pain.
Mike wrote: "Gracie was a ditz or an airhead, not a bimbo. A bimbo implies loose sexuality while Gracie was far from that."
You are correct. I did not get that aspect of the word till I looked it up a while ago. I thought it was just an airhead.
Trey
Himbo will never eclipse "stud muffin"
Left largely unspoken is the raw fact that a series of empty but physically intimate relationships is emotionally damaging for both sexes, albeit in different ways.
Can't have any inconvienent facts about human nature clogging up the ongoing sexual revolution, can we?
Equally as troubling as the author's reflexive male (and male libido) bashing is his unnatural affinity for celebrity gossip rags like Us Weekly and In Touch. I wonder if he reads chick lit too.
And what's with his snarky, catty tone? No self respecting male would ever describe Lance Armstrong's and Ashley Olsen's public displays of affection as "canoodling" -- let alone complain about a champion athlete trying to get some play from a hard partying actress.
Plus, why would anybody get "queasy" from looking at a picture of Lance Armstrong holding hands with Kate Hudson, or of John Mayer catching some rays with Jennifer Aniston? Look, I think that Kate Hudson and Jennifer Aniston are waaaay, waaaay overrated. But if they get it done for Mr.'s Armstrong and Mayer (respectively), then so be it.
But it's beyond my comprehension as to why our femmeboi author's digestive tract is unsettled by such liaisons.
The Governor of California would call this dude a "girly maan."
And he'd be totally justified in doing so.
I call for this chump's man card to be rescinded ... if it hasn't already been.
BTW,
It's particularly disconcerting that the author slams Mayer for pursuing other females "mere months" after having been involved with Jessica Simpson. What, was he supposed to have waited a couple years before making another move? And aren't females generally applauded for dumping one suitor in favor of another suitor whom they perceive to be a better option (as in "you go girl!")?
I think perhaps he doth protest too much when he instructs Matthew McConaughey and the other guys to keep their shirts on.
On the other hand, if this guy actually is straight, then I'd bet the house that he has legions of female friends -- many of whom he has strong (yet unrequited) "feelings" for ... and that he complains endlessly about how unfair it is that girls prefer "jerks" to "nice guys" (like him).
@trashtalk superstar: "and that he complains endlessly about how unfair it is that girls prefer "jerks" to "nice guys" (like him)."
I think you nailed it there. It doesn't take males long to notice that women tend to express desire for nice guys with their words and jerks with their bodies. They'll usually deny that strongly, probably because they don't even realize they do it. Still some guys, like this author, believe their words and not their actions, and write silliness like this accordingly. Meanwhile, his intimacy probably consists of his girlfriends crying about how the jerks they are screwing treat them, and telling him what a great guy he is (though reminding him they are just friends).
I'm not saying all women are like this (funny how we always need that disclaimer). Just tends to be the general rule. I rather enjoyed it in my single, less kind days. I grew up and quit playing the field, but not because women rewarded me for it. If I based that decision on rewards, I would still be single and playing the field.
The writer of the article has all of you by the short hairs. He's paid to attract readers, and he did his job beautifully.
@cham: "The writer of the article has all of you by the short hairs. He's paid to attract readers, and he did his job beautifully."
True. Yet, the reaction here would pale in comparison to something equally as offensive written against women. The "short hair" is not the anatomy the author would be had by in that case. :)
cham: "The writer of the article has all of you by the short hairs. He's paid to attract readers, and he did his job beautifully."
trust: "True."
I disagree. It may be true that the writer is paid to attract readers, but somehow I doubt that his intent was stoke the flames in order to lure in an audience of guys who've grown weary of incessant male bashing in the media/American popular culture.
Why try to pull in an audience that accounts for about .000000000001 percent of the population when you can appeal to a female audience that:
a.) makes up over 50% of the
population
b.) has consistently shown an affinity for male bashing media?
After all, male bashing hasn't exactly yielded shabby results for Oprah and the View.
And keep in mind that the article in question appeared on MSN. MSN has also produced pieces on how to snag a billionaire husband and pieces which advocated (for single women approaching 40) marrying the first suitor of means who comes along -- regardless of the female's level of attraction/compatibility for/with the suitor -- in order to ensure financial security by divorcing the (less than ideal) suitor and taking his house and half of his net worth.
To be sure, those articles were probably intended to be controversial. But they weren't intended for male audiences. They were likely meant to be conversation starters for the single girls.
One more thing: I don't know the author, but I highly doubt that his snarky, girly writing style and his interest in celebrity gossip are a ruse intended to draw the ire of traditional, masculine male readers. The fact is, I know all too many single, beta, metrosexual-ish young/youngish males who talk like this guy writes. And overwhelmingly, they assume that their chick like language and their vast knowledge of celebrity gossip/pop culture makes them more attractive to females. In their minds, that's their "in" with the ladies. You see, they're not knucke-draggers, or "typical guys." They're "different;" they're more sophisticated and more enlighted. They can do "girl talk" as well as the girls ... and that's supposed to cause scores of panties to hit the floor.
I am now a huge samantha fan:
"Without people of both genders controlling their baser instincts, society will not function well."
I've never thought before about what is going on specifically in women that is evolutionarily obsolete and that they need to get under control.
I hope samantha's a girl, because I've got a huge crush.
"Without people of both genders controlling their baser instincts, society will not function well."
I agree. As is commonly understood, men who don't keep their physicality in check (not just sexual) can wreak havoc on people close to them and society.
What is not commonly understood or even considered is that women who don't keep their emotionality in check can wreak havoc on those closest to them and society in general.
Why do we need separate words for women and men who engage in the same behavior? "Slut" works just fine.
Dr. Helen: I agree with your last sentence. There's nothing morally wrong with being slutty as long as everyone is honest and careful. Not sure where you're finding the reverse double standard, though. The writer never turns around and says it's just fine for women to run around. Is there some kind of subtext I'm missing?
I'm sorry, I don't believe I've heard "slut" used to describe promiscuous guys in any TV show or movie or read it (admittedly infrequently) in any book.
So I don't think it works.
"President Clinton is a slut".
Puh lease.
Dr. Helen, do you agree that: "There's nothing morally wrong with being drunk and driving as long as everyone is honest and careful"?
This is not a question about legality, but morality.
Comparing drunk driving with acting slutty, from which will more innocents be killed or aborted this year in America?
@Tom Grey said... "I'm sorry, I don't believe I've heard "slut" used to describe promiscuous guys in any TV show or movie or read it (admittedly infrequently) in any book."
I've never heard "slut" used to describe a man who expresses his sexuality. However, similarly, I've never heard "wimp" or "pussy" used to describe a woman who expresses her emotionality. (i.e, men deny their feelings to avoid being called a pussy and women deny their sexuality to avoid being called a whore.)
I've heard people refer to men as sluts and women as wimps, albeit very infrequently. But my basic point is, why invent new words when the old ones are perfectly good?
"He's a slut." "She's a wimp." In both cases, using the old word calls attention to the double standard in ways a cutesy neuvo-word doesn't.
I'm sorry to have to point out the obvious projection here, but where in the article transcribed is any mention of feminism or a disinclination to extend the criticism levelled at Armstrong, et al. to women as well?
I find it far more telling that this post author would read this completely inconsequential observation and immediately presume the writer is all pro-feminist, etc. just so she can score a cheap (albeit unearned) political point.
What an exquisite example of the banality of the blogosphere.
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