"A Dad is More than a Paycheck"
Protein Wisdom is promoting what looks like a very good cause--an Equal Parenting Bike Trek:
There is a news video about one of the fathers, Robert Pedersen, who is riding in the bike trek. Pedersen states in the video, "A dad is more than a paycheck." This is why he is riding to raise awareness of the importance of fathers and the need to change child custody laws--particularly in Michigan. How wonderful. I just sent a small donation to help out with this worthy cause. I hope this is just the beginning of men fighting to change laws that are unjust, unfair, and that harm many children who desperately need dads.
A grueling 758 mile cycling trek to raise awareness of a child's fundamental right to be loved, guided, educated and nurtured equally by both fit and willing parents.
There is a news video about one of the fathers, Robert Pedersen, who is riding in the bike trek. Pedersen states in the video, "A dad is more than a paycheck." This is why he is riding to raise awareness of the importance of fathers and the need to change child custody laws--particularly in Michigan. How wonderful. I just sent a small donation to help out with this worthy cause. I hope this is just the beginning of men fighting to change laws that are unjust, unfair, and that harm many children who desperately need dads.
Labels: men's activism
posted by Helen at 1:05 PM
30 Comments:
I love my kids. They are my life.
Right on Dr. H.!!!!
Cycling for equality = Good stuff.
Being a man, if I'm in a mall or a school or whatever and I see a small child alone and crying, current societal norms will not allow me to go over and see about this child. It is too easy for a man to be cast in the role of "offender" or "predator." It is too easy for a man to go to jail. There is a shortage of kindergarten and lower grade teachers. Why? Because of the femininization of our society. Our young men and boys are losing their role models. They are failing in school and the teacher's (and their unions) have deserted them. It's nice to hear someone say a Dad is more than a paycheck but in too many homes, thats exactly what we are.
Rocker: If I saw a small kid alone and crying at a mall, I would certainly help. But, you are right; I would probably be smart to call 911 first.
And, that's so stupid given that the chances are that the frantic parent that lost her/his kid is probably within screaming distance and could be located pretty promptly.
You are definitely correct about elementary schools and feminization of our boys. Part of the ADD mania is due to bitter, frustrated or ill-informed (or all of the preceding) female teachers disallowing the "acting out" of a natural boyish nature by a boy.
As a society, correcting that will require political, economic, and cultural readjustment. Although it should be, it's just not cool to tell a potential romantic partner that you teach second grade. Now, maybe if male second grade teachers made six figures that dynamic would change overnight.
The most egregious case in Michigan is that of Douglas Richardson. He's paying child support to the biological father of his ex-wife's offspring.
He didn't know the kid wasn't his. Now he has the DNA evidence to prove it but the state/courts don't care. He started paying support before he discovered he wasn't the father. His ex wife moved in with her boyfriend, the sperm donor. When she left the sperm donor, he got legal custody because, after all he's the bio dad. The Friend of the Court simply changed who they made the checks out to.
Yes it's true. In Michigan they make men pay the guys who knock up their wives.
Isn't today's dad less than a paycheck? I mean, today a woman can support herself and her kids on her own salary. What does she need a male paycheck for? If she lets a guy hang around, chances are he's a free-loading, beer-drinking, couch-potato. If she's lucky, he might be a paycheck.
Today's colleges have an enrollment that is 2 to 1 female. This does not look to me like there are very many paycheck dads in our future.
I think Dr. Helen is talking about a non-existent issue.
www.dankingbooks.com
"As a society, correcting that will require political, economic, and cultural readjustment. "
As Islam creeps into the West, and Islamic families have large number of children, an interesting collision is on our hands.
Feminism has created a climate in which it is inevitable for them to collide with Sharia principles. I never thought I'd say this, but it is difficult to defend EITHER side.
Dan:
Do you mean irrelevant?
The issue exists, you just seem to think it will even itself out. Or that men or scum. Or maybe my sarcasm detector is broke today.
paycheck, sperm donor, etc...
men and women are both equally capable of irresponsibility so why are men always given the short end of the stick? Aaron Hanscom has written much on this topic.
paycheck, sperm donor, etc...
men and women are both equally capable of irresponsibility so why are men always given the short end of the stick? Aaron Hanscom has written much on this topic.
Dr. Helen, thank you for informing everyone about this event. It is important that we start to look at solutions that will heal society, and equal involvement of parents with their children will help this process. Government has been too quick to exclude or reward negative outcomes with federal grants instead of enforcing common sense solutions like "equality." You would have thought we were still in the dark ages to have to promote such an obvious concept.
Dr. Helen,
Thank you for posting this event. The judge says me and my brother and two sisters can only see my dad four days a month. I want to go to DC, but I can't because it is not our weekend with him. Please tell everyone about this event, because I'm only ten and nobody listens to me.
Daddy's Girl
I'm a 40 year old male. I have 2 children. I spend my Sunday mornings teaching 5&6 year olds in Sunday School. On week day nights, I spend an hour at the local Karate School getting 5-9 year olds 'pumped up' about themselves. Society can take a flying leap, I'm in it for the kids.
Like mdmhvonpa says:
"Society can take a flying leap, I'm in it for the kids."
Apathy begets apathy, and the children will need "more pumping up about themselves" when we have a government breaking down the very foundation of THEIR society, which happens to be the family unit.
I'm in it for the kids too. I'm a coach and scout leader. Love'em and we have a great time together. To the wife I'm 95% paycheck. So it goes.
Dads are nothing more than a paycheck Dr. Helen and likely to remain so Dr. Helen.
This is because women wish it so.
A woman with kids who's father is merely a paycheck has many opportunities: to trade up in a partner.
Theodore Dalrymple has written in Life at the Bottom, on how even his nurses, educated and earning decent money, consistently chose bad/abusive men, often a succession of them, with single-motherhood the norm.
In General (individuals vary of course) when women are unconstrained socially and economically, they choose to optimize for the highest status and most masculine partner they can find.
Therefore, yes fathers are just paychecks. They *must* be disposable in order to gain better partners. It's a very common pattern, one seen throughout history. Western monogamy is fairly recent and exceptional.
My daughter, age 4, has been in France for 13 months now, thanks to a Michigan judge, and her unbelievable custody order. I have traveled to be with her 10 times in this period. It does matter that it is breaking me financially but it matters more that this girl knows that her father is not the one who abandoned her, though her mother is telling her such. I am running for State Representative to try to get equal parenting legislation. It is vitally important to do so. Speaking of FILMMAKING - in order to gain greater awareness of this very wrong thing, I would love to see a major film similar to John Grisham's "The King of Torts" - or the film "American Gangster", which both begin to expose the more than corrupting money trail of the court system and child support.
It is about time that the tide has turned. Though my situation has always been amicable and more than equtiable- we decided how to raise our child ahead of time, not the court- I have heard the horror stories in my persoanl and professioanl life.
The fact is that men still make more than women, on average. Some of that is do to career choice but some is still due to discrimination. So the paycheck dad is still out there.
As a dad who spends more time at work and earns more money, I would like to see that paycheck get some credit. I spend less time with my children because I have a higher paying job. That job pays for their home, clothes, food, toys, extracurricular activities, provides them with medical insurance and (my) life insurance, allows their mom to work a lower paying job that lets her spend more time with them, etc... But I am still their father and still love them and should get some consideration for the fact that I sacrifice my time with them to provide them with other things.
Part of being a good parent is doing some of the other stuff that needs to be done. But the fact that I spend less time with my children doesn't mean I love them any less or am any less their parent.
Incidently, if I found out that they weren't mine, biologically, I'd probably be willing to continue to support them but I'd insist on some custodial rights, as well.
Thank you Dr H.
As a devoted Father I appreciate your comments.
This is a great project! I probably live more than 758 miles west of Michigan, but I'm not sure I could ride that much on a bike!
I Pray that this brings about the needed change. I love my son more than my own life, and he needs both his parents equally, as well as all of his Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins! Not just one sides.
First I want to say that I am a single father of an 14 yrs daughter,
7 yrs daughter and a 6 yrs son that all my civil rights was stripped from me through the
cooperation of the State and the mother. The courts call it awarding
custody, but it is in fact kidnaping the child from one parent that the
child needs and deserves and giving the child to the other parent. This
is done through the power and force of the State, this is violence on
the hands of the State and is Child Abuse. 1. The courts are ruled by
the love of money and are making all the money they can for the State
with absolutely no real interest or care for the child. This is as clear
as night and day. Sure the State pretends and gives words that it is
doing this in the best interest of the child. It is not in the best
interest of 99.9% of children to be removed from one parents life and be
given to the so-called custodial parent. It is parents that love their
children more than any other people. The reason the courts are giving
custody
(removing / violation of civil rights) to one parent is so that they can make an Order
Child Support so that the State can collect the Federal Incentive
Payments. I have contacted Steve Austria office several times with
little to no help.
Steve forgets he works for the people not the other way around. What
happen to our government? For the people is long gone. It's who has
money
and how can they help my career in politics.
Sincerely,
Tim McGregor
Ohio's Great Revenue Generator - Child Support. Does the
State of Ohio honestly care about our children's best
interests? Or, is the child support witch-hunt "just about
the money?" "To that end, from July 1 to December 1, 2003, this website collected e-mailed commentary from
the public and 20 community forums were held across
Ohio during that same period to provide participants the
opportunity to speak personally to members of the
council." So it is they that we must petition for change to the laws pertaining to the collection of child support. However,
you may become a little discouraged when you read the
publics input here 1. Ohio Child Support Guidelines Council
Report 2005 Many of you will nod in agreement with the input received from the public, "the money should follow the child," "net, not gross income should be used in the calculation," "why does the non custodial parent, whose parenting time is equal to that of the custodial parent, have to pay so much support?" Why isn't there an accounting of
where the money goes? How many of these suggestions
were written into law? We count zero. Many of you faithfully paying your support know the following. For those who pay amounts that equal or exceed their mortgage payments, that money is not spent on our children. Many of your support dollars support the custodial parents lifestyle. Why are you ordered to pay these enormous amounts of support that force you into bankruptcy? How many of you don't heat your home in the winter because you can't afford to? How many of you can't get caught up on your bills and have debt collectors after you? How many of you lost your house, your car, and your children?" Why don't you see the receipts showing how your money is spent on your children? Wouldn't it be wonderful to divert some of the child support dollars into a college, wedding, house or retirement fund for your child? In closing, you can see from what has been discussed, our only hope for change is the Ohio Child Support Guidelines Council. Will they propose legislative changes in favor of adopting resolutions to enact support formula's that would result in lower support obligations? Absolutely not, read on. It's not about the best interest of our children, it's not about their welfare. It's about the tens of millions of dollars the state receives from the federal government by turning child support collections into a witch-hunt. As stated by Tom Hayes in the October 28, 2004 Press Release, "Ohio received a $23.7 million incentive for federal fiscal year 2001. This brings the total received over the past three years to more than $86 million." Our legislatures are brazen enough to admit in H.R.4678 that they need to provide more child support money to families leaving welfare. We're picking up the welfare tab from the federal government. As Uncle Sam walks away waving goodbye to the enormous welfare expenses he left behind, our local CSEA's are stealing 1/3 to ½ of your net pay to make up the difference. and receive federal reimbursement on those dollars. Another incentive? The reimbursement rate is higher for monies in arrearage. Don't forget the interest you must pay too. Why are non-custodial parents usually ordered to provide medical coverage for the children? You, guessed it, the CSEA also receives federal dollars on medical support orders. Our only recourse is the Ohio Child Support Guidelines Council, and they only meet every 4 years. Read this again The Ohio CSEA Directors' Association Statement in Support of H.R. 1386 The very last paragraph reads, "Please feel free to contact Kim Newsom Bridges, our Executive Director, If you go to page 4 here Ohio Child Support Guidelines Council Report 2005 you will see the title: "2005 Child Support Guidelines Council Roster" Kim Newsom Bridges, Executive Director Looks to us like the fox is in the hen house. Remember that Ms. Newsome Bridges is a member of The Ohio Child Support Guidelines Council (responsible for recommending legislative change is child support laws?) Given that she is the Executive Director of The Ohio Child Support Director's Association (the same CSEA
that's directly responsible for Ohio's "cut" of the Federal
pie) what incentive could possibly exist for her to recommend child support laws that lower payment amounts? Absolutely none! In fact, it's counter productive to her interests as the chair of the Ohio CSEA Director's Association. Remember, as the dollar amount collected by the CSEA collects through child support payments increases, their federal reimbursement dollars climb even higher. She made her intentions very clear, it's about the MONEY the state of Ohio makes from our child support payments. You just picked up the welfare tab. Ohio Fathers for Justice is going to battle this injustice and we need your help. The dark side of child support that our politicians don't dare acknowledge. Could this be true? Those who have been bankrupted by unbearably high child support orders should take heed to Bill H.R. 1386 The 75N support order that bankrupted you may just make sense after you understand the financial rewards reaped by the State of Ohio on total child support dollars collected. More than $86 million over a three year period. That's what Ohio ranked in on our child support payments as of 2004. How about the State take a portion of the $86 million and establish an Ohio college scholarship fund for children from broken homes? That would certainly be in the best interest of Ohio's children;
1. H.R. 1386: To repeal a provision enacted to end Federal
matching of State spending of child support incentive
payments. It's certainly no surprise that the Ohio CSEA Directors' Association issued a statement in strong support of The Child Support Protection Act of 2007: The Ohio CSEA Directors' Association Statement in Support of H.R. 1386
"Ohio's cut" be given back to it's children. Consider this, the State of Ohio reaps tens of millions of dollars from child support payments yearly: October 28, 2004 Ohio Reaps Child Support Incentive Money from the Federal Government "Ohio Department of Job and Family Services Director Tom Hayes today announced that Ohio has been awarded a $30.4 million incentive for performance in the child support program." It's apparent Mr. Hayes enjoys flaunting Ohio's success as he released this news release on July 19, 2004: In late 2003, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services awarded Ohio a $32.2 million incentive for performance in the child support program during federal fiscal year 2002. Only two states received a larger amount. It's undeniable that the State of Ohio aggressively pursues child support collections. "Ohio has the sixth largest child support caseload in the nation but ranks second in total collections and first in collections for non-public assistance cases." Ohio Collects Record Amount of Child Support - July 29, 2004 Annual child support round-up results in 331 arrests November 18, 2004 Are you seeing a pattern yet? Please continue reading, here is a December 1, 2003 release: The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has awarded Ohio a $32.2 million incentive for performance in the child support program. Annual child support round-up results in 287 arrests October 5, 2005 As noted in the release, "Ohio collected about $2 billion in child support in state fiscal year 2005. There are more than one million child support cases in the state. Ohio has the third largest child support caseload in the nation, but ranks second in total collections and first in collections for non-public assistance cases." In the July 29, 2004 release Ohio had the sixth largest child support case load in the nation and ranked second in total collections. In October 2005 Ohio attains the third largest
child support caseload in the nation while maintaining its
rank of second in collections. December 12, 2006 Annual child support round-up results in 473 arrests. We're anxious to see what the 2007 numbers are. Given Ohio's track record in child support collections, were predicting a record year in arrests and collections. It should be obvious by now that these collection efforts are not out of Ohio's concern for the welfare of our children. Make no mistake, it's all about revenue.
Generating revenue for the State. Add up the tens of
millions Ohio has been awarded by the federal government
on child support collections. Why isn't this money going back to our children? After all, it's been collected out of Ohio's concern for our children's best interests right? Brazen, is the appropriate definition for the title of H.R.4678 Title: To provide more child support money to families leaving welfare Can our politicians intent be any more obvious? Yes, you read that correctly. The Title of Bill H.R.4678 actually reads, "To provide more child support money to families leaving welfare." Ohio's child support paying non-custodial parents are picking up where welfare left off. Department of Jobs and Family Services (ODJFS) along with the Child Support Enforcement Agency(CSEA). Their purpose, in part as stated on their home page is as follows: "The Ohio Department of Job and Family Services is required by the Ohio Revised Code (ORC 3119.021) to review Ohio's basic child support schedule to determine whether child support orders issued in accordance with the schedule and worksheets adequately provide for the needs of the children who are subject to the child support orders. It is required to prepare a report of its review and submit a copy of the report to both houses of the general assembly....." The Ohio Child Support Guidelines Council is responsible for recommending changes to our legislators regarding the statutes surrounding child support. Simply put, it is they who determine if the child support system is fair and equitable. It is they who dictate how much you pay in child support.
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