The Norm blog run by Norm Geras has a profile up of me here.
posted by Helen at 2:47 PM
Thursday, July 12, 2007
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50 Comments:
"What would be your ideal choice of alternative profession or job? > Fighter pilot in the military."
Then you would probably find this book interesting:
"Boyd: The Fighter Pilot who changed the Art of War".
Excuse me for forgetting to include the full particulars:
"Boyd: The Fighter Pilot who changed the Art of War"
by Robert Coram
(c) 2002
A lovely overview and profile, that! I laughed aloud at your answer to the first question. Then, having heard a podcast or two, followed it with, "Oh, come now..."
(Curiously, Andie McDowell is who I'd choose for you as well.)
Anonymous 10:29:
Thanks for the book suggestion, I will look for it at Amazon.
Peregrine John,
I really mean my family--they were sick of me spouting off my opinions on culture and politics. I was on the internet in 1999 with two websites and Glenn set up a blog for me in 2001 and tried to get me to blog then but I was too busy but in 2005 finally got around to it and now my family is spared hearing me mouth off on a regular basis. Now, the world gets to hear my opinions, but at least you can log off the site!
Looking back, what would you rather have gotten your PhD in? Or would you just skip it?
If you want to be a closet fighter jock, you'll need to bone up on the terminology. Impress your friends at parties...
I'm assuming, of course, that you want to be a closet Naval Aviator fighter jock and not one of those...other kinds.
Andie McDowell is exactly who came to mind the first time I heard your voice. With maybe a little Amy Grant in there. Oddly enough, I've never considered either all that attractive, but... I think I get it now.
That was cool and funny. I really appreciate the "from each and to each" recognition. I did not know that you valued Ellis so much.
And I am hugely narcissistically injured by your failure to appreciate golf! To assuage my injury in a brave attempt to self-soothe, I intend to go play 9 holes before picking up the kids!
Trey
Bugs,
I would skip it all together--a PHD can often be worth less than a master's degree and takes many years to do. Also, the PC nonsense I endured during the years of grad school were very damaging to me psychologically. I would not put myself through it again. Doesn't mean it might not be fine for someone else. I just wish I had been more aware of the anti-authoritarian libertarian side of me that was a poor match for graduate studies in a field like psychology. What would I have done? Something physical while I was younger--I used to fly airplanes--Cessna 150's as a teenager but stupidly didn't finish my pilot's license. I wish I had and had gone into the military.
Trey,
Sorry about the golf thing. I know people love golf and perhaps if I took lessons, I might also.
Wonderful interview.
I agree with your non-Marxist views but health care is way too expensive compared to what it cost 30-40 years ago. Not sure what to do about it, though. The people who claim to want to resolve the problem are largely the same people that caused the problem - politicians and government.
Don't let Trey bother you. As Mark Twain said, "Golf is a good walk spoiled". Boring and time consuming to play or watch.
Dr. Helen:
I read the interview.......................
For the love of God, marry me !!!
Trey,
I have your back on this golf thing.
C'mon Helen and Dad, what's wrong with beer, cigars, friends, and...oh yeah, little white balls.
Its quality male bonding time at its finest!
Why did you get into psychology, anyway? Were you crazy and wanted to figure out why? Or did you just want to help people?
Bugs,
"Why did you get into psychology, anyway? Were you crazy and wanted to figure out why? Or did you just want to help people?"
A little of both.
Well, at least you wanted to help. Too bad the system makes it so frustrating.
Maybe you could do some more documentaries. Go for that Palme d'Or...
Fighter Pilot?
Been There. Done That.
You get the jet. I'll teach.
Flying a fighter is the most fun that you can have with your pants on.
Check Six!
Kurt Todoroff
Dogwood wrote: "C'mon Helen and Dad, what's wrong with beer, cigars, friends, and...oh yeah, little white balls."
You have obviously seen my and my pals play! One of the wives (wonderful people, all of them, they let us play after all) asked her husband what we talk about when we play. "Well, golf" was his answer. I think that is pertinent in light of the "Who talks more" thread.
And while I love golf and can honestly say I suck at the game, many people do NOT have fun on the golf course. What is the point in that?
Trey
A young Andie, maybe.
Why do you blog? > Because no one wants to listen to me in real life.
This is NOT true. I was visiting a relative, no cable, no internet access. I was surfing the 12 or so available channels and low and behold - Dr. Helen on the Oxygen series (back to back I watched 6). It was a delight to listen to you in person - or taped person. Always enjoy what you have to say no matter what form.
Dr. Helen,
Beyond the academic, may I ask; what are your lingering perceptions of New York (City)? Did you have the opportunity to visit the various ethnic neighborhoods, and if so, your impressions.
I'm a writer, by the way, just now completing a book set in NYC during the late 60's - the central theme focusing on how local, national and world events impacted the eating habits of native Manhattanites. To protect the guilty, it's a work of fiction - and very often satirical. Kind of a joy ride, on the backs of some serious sociological and political issues. (Forgive me, I'm warming up the query letter)
Did you have a favorite place, a neighborhood, a restaurant, or maybe a certain bench, say, in Morningside Park?
Did you find native New Yorker's different? (I did, and I was one of'em…)
DMM
Eric Fromm
You must mean Erich and not the tennis player. :)
Helen Smith was born in the early 1960s in Berkeley, California, to beatnik parents who were attending school there at the time.
Did your parents have liberal views?
Did you ever hear comparisons to Andie McDowell, before you started this blog?
Great interview Helen! I second the Andie McDowell look alike....only you have better hair! And love the 'there's no free lunch' choices...one of my favorite truisms.
And good advice for bloggers. If we don't each bring our unique experience, interests and history to our blogs, then there's really no point. It may or may not sell, but being true to oneself is most important.
It's always fun to come here to read and think and occasionally comment.
Anonymous 4:14:
What a nice thing to say. Thanks.
Serket,
Yes, Erich, left off the h. Thanks for the correction.
"Did your parents have liberal views?
Did you ever hear comparisons to Andie McDowell, before you started this blog?"
My parents more or less were liberal in their views but apolitical. My father once voted for Harry Brown, however when he got fed up with both parties.
Yes, people have always told me I looked like Andie McDowell. I take it as a compliment.
Dmm,
"What are your lingering perceptions of New York (City)? Did you have a favorite place, a neighborhood, a restaurant, or maybe a certain bench, say, in Morningside Park?
Did you find native New Yorker's different?"
I, like most people, have a love/hate relationship with New York. I was there in the 1980's and it was not a pleasant place to be--a lot of crack in the areas that I could afford to live --the lower east side, in alphabet land as well as 11th street and first. I would not choose to live there now but I learned a lot then--mainly about analytical and object relations psychology and psychoanalysis. I worked on Kings Highway in Brooklyn-- in an institute and later had a private practice for a while-- which if you know the area was quite ethnic. I liked it very much and the people there were interesting and colorful. Shopping there was always a treat--a lot of shouting and loud voices. My favorite place in the city was the Columbus Circle area and I love Central Park. I spent a lot of hours running around the reservoir there.
My father was a native New Yorker from the Bronx so no one seemed "different"--growing up Jewish in the South, I was typically the different one so I felt fairly at home there. I found the New Yorkers for the most part to be an okay group but not as friendly or brave as Southerners.
In my opinion, Andie McDowell looks like Dr. Helen - not the other way around.
Dr. Helen:
Eric Fromm?
I was surprised when you included him on such a short list of favorites.
Didn't Fromm think mankind's true spirit is collectivist, and that invidualism and the free market cause alienation?
What made you include Fromm?
"I used to fly airplanes--Cessna 150's as a teenager ..."
Everyone starts in Cessna, it seems. I actually finished my private training in a Piper trainer, and now have one of the high-end Pipers. The Piper stall characteristics are much better than Cessna, imho, so I'd recommend them if you every get around to finishing your license.
TN is a beautiful place from the sky, although the hills block the navigation signals some.
All better now.
Seriously though. Take the best photo of Sean young ever taken, and the best photo of Andie McDowell ever taken, place in a shake and bake bag, and have at it. When you pull the photo out of the bag, it will be Dr. Helen.
The same works for me, using an older photo of Robert Redford, and a current photo of Brad Pitt. Honest!
Dr. Helen said... "My favorite place in the city was the Columbus Circle area and I love Central Park. I spent a lot of hours running around the reservoir there."
I used to advise out-of-towners to avoid breathing too deeply of and in New York City, especially over extended periods of time. Yet, once we entered Central Park - who would know.
Then I moved. Away.
But now for something completely different; forensic psychology. I've been a handwriting analyst (CGA) for a number of years, and still find the subject completely fascinating.
My question is, that is, if you're willing; do you believe handwriting offers an accurate reflection of one's personality and/or personal tendencies? I'm not looking for work, but would be interested in your opinion.
___________
Regarding the reservoir, it brings to mind Woody Allen - one of my movie-making favorites.
DMM
Helen, that's neat that your parents were beatniks. Did they play the bongo drums and read Kerouac to you for bedtime stories?
We do the best we can do in the short time we have on this earth. In hindsight, I don’t think any of us can say we would have made different choices with the information and capabilities we had at the time of the decision. So I am at peace with almost everything I have done.
However, I do have one regret. Back in the days when autopilots were extremely expensive, and therefore I didn’t have one, I failed to intercept a localizer – flew right through it – into airspace reserved for a Blue Angels flight demonstration team on a Sunday afternoon. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life, and gave me nightmares for months.
EDH,
I read Fromm's "Escape from Freedom" in which he analyzed modern man's escape from himself and from his freedom early in my career and it helped me to understand in psychological terms why it is that people are so afraid of freedom. I do not agree with Fromm's conclusions--that some form of "libertarian" socialism is the answer to man's feelings of alienation etc. I could see why you would be confused--I despise any form of socialism and am a true capitalist but I am drawn the work of some of the earlier analysts.
Jungle Jim,
"Helen, that's neat that your parents were beatniks. Did they play the bongo drums and read Kerouac to you for bedtime stories?"
We left Berkeley when I was three months old--when we moved to Tennessee, we just sang Rocky Top.
A classic Mary T M
Just read the blog. Great responses. I bet you would have made a helluva fighter pilot.
I enjoyed reading your profile. You feel/sound/look like a really great person: compassionate, possessed of integrity, smart, brave, reflective. You know: all the things a human being should aspire to.
Your family is lucky to have you.
One note: As ex-military, I caution you to remember that your fighter jet would be quality-built by the lowest bidder. 'nuff said.
I enjoyed reading your profile. You feel/sound/look like a really great person: compassionate, possessed of integrity, smart, brave, reflective. You know: all the things a human being should aspire to.
Your family is lucky to have you.
One note: As ex-military, I caution you to remember that your fighter jet would be quality-built by the lowest bidder. 'nuff said.
I've watched Groundhog Day a hundred times just to watch Andi McDowell slap Bill Murray around.
I loved the answer to this question: What do you like doing in your spare time? > Nothing.
After reading your profile you have reached Everyday Italian status in our household. While watching Everyday Italian, it never fails that I tell my wife that Giada's husband is very, very blessed
Dear Dr. Smith: Twice in your profile you express great respect for Condoleeza Rice. I share that respect, though I would no longer vote for her as a candidate for President. I would be interested in why you regard her so highly.
Sincerely yours,
Gregory Koster
Mr. Koster,
I have great admiration for Condi Rice. She doesn't play identity politics and is a symbol of strength and independence. She got where she is today based on her intelligence, character and leadership qualities. From biographies I have read about her childhood, her parents taught her to be the best and break through boundaries, not sit back and play the victim. She is too smart to want to be President, it is a dirty job with little appreciation unless one is a Clinton and has the full backing of the media and even then, it is not so great.
Wonderful. I loved reading your profile, and I really had no idea that you blogged for the same reason that I do. (No one ever listens to me; at least I'm convinced they don't!)
BTW, I rejected golf in favor of life in your birthplace -- Berkeley. (I try to be tolerant of alternative lifestyles, though, and in fairness this tolerance extends to people who love golf!)
Eric,
Yes, I felt no one listened to me when I was younger but that is because up until 30, I literally did not talk to people much. I just sort of watched and observed people but had social phobia and never said much--probably with good reason. I had a lot of controversial things to say that did not go over well. Now, I am making up for lost time and nothing and no one will ever shut me up again.
You seem to be out of your shell these days. How did you get over your social phobia? Or did you?
I was a hermit during my adolescent years - ended up improperly socialized and it still holds me back. Probably why I comment on blogs so much.
Wow!!!
This is the kind of woman I would love to meet.
Short BS fuse - yup
Not a girly-girl - yup
But still feminine - yup
Conservative - yup
Speaks her mind without games - yup
Shoots - yup
Does not back down, but, listens to argument backed by evidence - yup.
I can only hope I meet someone like that.
Rich Cook
Bugs,
I never really got over my social phobia, just learned to live with it. One thing I admire about the cognitive psychologist Albert Ellis is that he forced himself into situations that made him confront his fears. I tried to do the same and spoke and talked and did a lot of interviews about my work over the years. However, the fear never left, I just accept it and know that it does not limit me. It is more important to get your ideas and thoughts out into the world but blogs are one way to do this. All one has to do is get along well enough to lead a decent life and fulfill one's goals. If you do, your social phobia does not limit you, but if not, it is something to work on.
You seem to do very well. Maybe we're never really "cured" of psychological problems - we just learn to function in spite of them.
Bugs,
That's right and it is a very important point. Many times, people are looking for their personality and life to somehow "change" before they decide to take action. It doesn't and they become convinced that they are defective, never going to have a good life, or crippled with psychological problems etc. Not true, the measure of success should be how one copes with the problems they have and works around them, not not having them.
The Buddha is supposed to have said that everybody is born with eighty-four problems. There's nothing we can do about the first eighty-three. The only one we can eliminate is the eighty-fourth - which is the desire not to have any problems.
Re. Your Profile
Subj: Whose coming to dinner.
1) I have a friend who lived next door to me until a few months ago who was a therapist & actually did have dinner with Albert Ellis. He loved the guy. Jack related this great story Ellis told him about a money-obsessed man and his wife who came to Ellis for sex therapy.
They tell Albert that they love each other but just can't seem to get it on. Ellis says, "Open your wallet"
Ellis asks the husband for $500 dollars & takes out an ashtray. The couple is confused. The man asks what the deal is. Ellis says, "Next week I want you two to tell me you had sex three times this week. If you haven't, I'll burn a $100 bill."
The couple returns the next week. Well, they say they had sex twice. Shocked, the couple watches Ellis burn a hundred dollar bill.
Few days later, Ellis gets a call from the wife pleading with him:
"Doctor, the sex is great but could you please convince my husband we did need so much of it."
What can't I find a therapist like that?!?!
Guess whose coming to dinner, Pt II
Graham's Selections: Charles Barkley, John Maynard Keynes & Helen Smith.
(Yeah, I'm a suck up... ;) )
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