"Ugly" Americans Abroad
I love these guidelines proposed by a pompous outfit called the Business for Diplomatic Action for Americans traveling abroad. Apparently, this group is "concerned by an apparent rise in what it calls 'negative stereotypes about our collective personality,' and 'is hoping to clean up the image of Americans abroad." The group has published a set of guidelines for travelers, the World Citizens Guide, that suggests proper ways of behaving when visiting countries outside of the U.S.
Perhaps people from other countries should be given the proper code of etiquette when they come here to the United States. It seems that we are often told to be tolerant of other cultures, no matter how outrageous or unusual the behavior. Because I must say--that whenever I encounter unusual or odd behavior from visitors to America, I usually hear how I am supposed to be sensitive to cultural differences. Are there concerned groups elsewhere telling foreign visitors how to behave properly in the US or is it just politically correct to bad mouth Americans while holding others to a lower standard?
Among its tips:
Be humble. In many countries, boasting is considered very rude. … Assume resentment as a default and play down your wealth, power and status.
Refrain from lecturing. Nobody likes a know-it-all, and nobody likes a whole nation of them.
Be quiet. A loud voice is often perceived as a bragging voice. Casual profanity is almost always considered unacceptable.
Dress for respect. Jeans, T-shirts and sneakers work for many of us much of the time, but there are people in other countries who believe such casualness is a sign of disrespect to them and their beliefs.
Perhaps people from other countries should be given the proper code of etiquette when they come here to the United States. It seems that we are often told to be tolerant of other cultures, no matter how outrageous or unusual the behavior. Because I must say--that whenever I encounter unusual or odd behavior from visitors to America, I usually hear how I am supposed to be sensitive to cultural differences. Are there concerned groups elsewhere telling foreign visitors how to behave properly in the US or is it just politically correct to bad mouth Americans while holding others to a lower standard?
posted by Helen at 12:47 PM
26 Comments:
Nobody likes a know-it-all, and nobody likes a whole nation of them.
Are they saying that nobody likes the French?
I disagree with you, helen. I travel in 3rd world countries, and a little advice goes a long way. If you aren't fluent in the language, you a pretty much dependent on the kindness of hoteliers, restauranteurs and the good citizens to help you with what you need. When I am in the US I know I can be loud and a little aggressive where nobody will be offended, but that is not the case elsewhere. You have to tweak your attitude when overseas. Someone on their first trip will be appreciative of the advice in the article. Each country even has its little quirks about etiquette, we have ours as well in the US.
Many Americans loathe to take international vacations though, so they rarely hve the opportunity to embarrass themselves. If they do go outside the US it is often in a group so the damage is minimal. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for some Germans and Australians who somehow never get the memo.
Actually, I think the advice is pretty good for anyone traveling to any country that is not their own.
Well, except for the attire thing. I'm not sure what difference that makes other than letting people know you're a tourist. At any rate, I'm not sure wearing a suit and tie everywhere you go is always a better idea.
For example, when I was in Quebec, I could have dressed like a homeless person and fit right in.
OK, sorry, cheap shot.
I live a mile from Disneyland, and so, have met a large number of tourists over the years. Although their manners have been different ftom what I would consider normal, I have never had a bad experience. I would guess that is because they have always smiled and treated me with kindness. For my part, I have tried to do the same. When that happends, the differences vanish and only the similarities remain.
Dr Helen:
At the end of "You don't mess around with Jim" you can hear "That's what you get for messing around with people strange to you" or something similar to that. If it is common enough knowledge to be in an old pop song, why is this such a surprize in this circumstance?
Though I can understand your taking offense at such things, I have to agree with the above comments in support of the suggestions.
Everyone of them is valid for working with anyone you don't know. I wish I could get this kind of behavior from the people in my neighborhood let alone people visiting another country. My mother used to say CON- Sider- Ation to me when I acted in similar fashions.
Finally I remember a novel and a movie called The Ugly American. It was generally admitted then and is probably still just as true now, that Americans were often guilty of boorish behavior. From the limited views I have of American society, I just cringe to think what happens with citizens like the ones I see, on vacation or business in foreign countries.
I've seen the 'executive' version of this guide. The advice is pat and condescending. I was surprised at many of the assumptions regarding US business travellers that they were promoting and so looked into its provenance.
Upon further investigation it turned out that it was originally tailored to travelling students, BDA is a handful of advertising and PR execs, and the guide itself was put together by students at Southern Methodist. It was likely a school project of some sort.
Ironically US business people are actually more reknown for their excessive politeness and avoidance of conflict. It's a common complaint within international teams - that Americans won't disagree because they fear insulting people.
I've seen the 'executive' version of this guide. The advice is pat and condescending. I was surprised at many of the assumptions regarding US business travellers that they were promoting and so looked into its provenance.
Upon further investigation it turned out that it was originally tailored to travelling students, BDA is a handful of advertising and PR execs, and the guide itself was put together by students at Southern Methodist. It was likely a school project of some sort.
Ironically US business people are actually more reknown for their excessive politeness and avoidance of conflict. It's a common complaint within international teams - that Americans won't disagree because they fear insulting people.
..ack, sorry about the duplicate post. Feel free to delete one.
I have to say, nothing beats the fun of telling a bunch of Germans that you voted for George W. Bush, and you will vote for him again. (it was in 2003) Absolute showstopper. They didn't know what to say. They were convinced that no one REALLY voted for him in the first place, and no one could POSSIBLY vote for him this time either.
As for being a good tourist, the "rules" are simple. Smile a lot. Thank people a lot. And admire something about their country. Whether they like it or not, Americans set the standards. When you show up in their country and make a point to admire something specific about them or their country, they will appreciate it. If I had a dollar for every time I got told "You're not what I expected an American to be," I'd get to go on a lot more trips.
I totally agree with the previous post. We are held to a higher standard, and long may it wave.
I've been to France several times, loved it, and have learned enough French to communicate. It is obvious that the people we come in contact with appreciate it. In fact, I got out of paying for a ding I put in a fender of a rental car by praising the car to high heaven (it was a Peugeot 407) and saying I wished I could take it home. The Hertz guy in Marseille ate it up.
I always thought that wise thing to do when traveling was to follow the Golden Rule. Years ago, as a track coach, I escorted a small group of college women on the European B Circuit, track meets for good but not yet great athletes. On an off day we went to, we were told, one of the more popular German beaches on the Baltic. Several girls went in for a swim and soon came back red from the chill of the water and red from looking at the whales on the beach(I tended to believe them much to often). I went over for a look and discovered several large German ladies of advanced age and no modesty sunning themselves in scooped out areas on the beach. I tried to apologize and back away but could only stammer in German that I was only looking for the 'whales'. Only later did I discover that, in parts of Germany, was slang for very large people. Sometimes even when a huge effort is made to be a good guest you can unerringly say exactly the wrong thing.
Perhaps people from other countries should be given the proper code of etiquette when they come here to the United States. It seems that we are often told to be tolerant of other cultures, no matter how outrageous or unusual the behavior. Because I must say--that whenever I encounter unusual or odd behavior from visitors to America, I usually hear how I am supposed to be sensitive to cultural differences.
I really get the feeling from posts like the one on family vacations that Glenn and Helen are genuinely nice people. Kindness begins at home. It's clear that Glenn and Helen make good relatives and good in-laws too.
But then, I also get the feeling from posts like this one that Glenn and Helen's good nature has been marred by their political views. Because these remarks that I quoted here are just a tantrum. There is nothing that makes my skin crawl than phrases like "we are told" and "I hear" and "I am supposed to". What is wrong with them is that they have left out who told you. The truth is that when you are an adult, your manners are in your own hands. There are no other people to hold you to any set standard. Any comments about how you should behave in other countries or how you should treat foreigners in America, for example, only amounts to advice. It is up to you to take that advice or disregard it. But advice from others is rarely 100% bad, especially advice to be polite to other people.
If the question is how to behave as a tourist, it is often said that Americans are both the best and the worst tourists. Americans are not one set type; the bad American tourists could just learn from the others. It's just unfortunate that America has had a lot of bad diplomacy in the past few years, and that bad diplomacy is also a bad example for tourists.
So no, it is not a good idea to tell Germans that you voted for Bush just to give them a rise. Bush irritates them. You can go to the polls and see that Bush's approval rating in Germany, and in fact in every Western European country, is in the basement. Now you could argue that Bush is doing the right thing and that it's their mistake to be irritated with him. Whether or not that is true, why go to Germany, or anywhere, just to piss off the locals? You should stay home if that is your attitude.
But you shouldn't think that they can't get along with any American tourists. Jim_M explained how you can. His advice is good, but I would say it a little differently. The single most important thing when you are in another country is to respect the people there and respect what they care about. You don't have to flatter them for every tiny little thing. Even a little praise goes a long way if you actually mean it. And, as Jim said, if you praise what they want praised.
"Be humble" is certainly first-rate advice. It is especially good advice in countries with well-educated people, like Germany or any country to the north of it. A friend of mine (an American) spent a year in Denmark and saw two American tourists on a bus who did the opposite. They started to bad-mouth Denmark in English, figuring that the Danes on the bus were not in the tourism industry and wouldn't understand them. "What a boring little country, the food is bad, Danes don't know much," that kind of thing. They didn't realize that everyone on the bus spoke English and understood every word. No one tipped them off. If you are rude in front of educated people, they might not even let you know.
"Ugly Americanism" has nothing to do with it. All tourists from any country have to do is remember to not be a jackass.
My sister and I took a vacation to Key West and went on an all-day "fun activity" that included water skiing, jet-skiing, kayaking, the works. On the boat were families from America, Denmark, South America, etc.
The foreign families ordered the boat captain around like a servant (by an American's standards, he was in charge of his boat and worthy of respect), cut in line, pushed to be first. The Anericans just watched in bemusement. The captain took all the kids on a "banana" ride and purposely dumped the uppity foreigners at the end of the day. They had earned it and then some.
The captain later confided that they hated seeing a group of foreigners coming.
Also, I remember some years back, two French girls riding to the top of the Twin Towers commenting quite descriptively about a boy's derriere who was also on the elevator. They never dreamed a stupid American might understand French. I did nothing to disabuse them of the notion. It was funny, anyway. At least they were complimentary!
Mike Johnson:
You state:
"But then, I also get the feeling from posts like this one that Glenn and Helen's good nature has been marred by their political views. Because these remarks that I quoted here are just a tantrum. There is nothing that makes my skin crawl than phrases like "we are told" and "I hear" and "I am supposed to". What is wrong with them is that they have left out who told you. The truth is that when you are an adult, your manners are in your own hands. There are no other people to hold you to any set standard. Any comments about how you should behave in other countries or how you should treat foreigners in America, for example, only amounts to advice. It is up to you to take that advice or disregard it. But advice from others is rarely 100% bad, especially advice to be polite to other people."
Uhh, is my husband here? This is my blog--why drag him into it? His views are marred? Speak directly to me, not to him. My good nature has been marred by my political views? How do you know? Did I say I go to countries and act like a jackass? No, I do not, I try to act in a decent manner when I travel. What I was responding to in this post was the article by MSNBC that referred to Americans as "ugly" when they go abroad. Do they have other articles entitled, "Ugly French Abroad" that you know of? I just think it is derogatory that news outlets say anything negative about Americans they want, yet would not dare say the same about foreigners from other countries. Not that two wrongs make a right. How about all tourists trying to be respectful when they travel. Americans are not the only ones who can be rude.
"Nobody likes a know-it-all, and nobody likes a whole nation of them."
It's this little bit of snark that gives the piece an obnoxious tone.
Without it, it's actually o.k. advice for an inexperienced business traveler. When you're trying to make a deal, it's good to know how to avoid accidentally irritating the people you're trying to make a deal with. (Don't ever write notes on a Japanese person's business card, it's a serious diss. And no, I can't explain why in under 5 paragraphs.)
By world standards, Americans tend to dress more casually, interact less formally, be less deferential to authority, and stand further from others while speaking than people from most other cultures, so those are good things to watch out for almost anywhere.
And yes, businesspeople from other countries spend just as much time studying "how to deal with Americans."
When an American organization and a Japanenese organization succesfully cooperate, you can bet that quite a bit of effort on both sides went into studying the other side's culture.
Upon rereading their examples of polite behaviour, I realized that those are the same rules we have at my family dinner table.
Uhh, is my husband here? This is my blog--why drag him into it? His views are marred?
I read his blog too, and he is also "here" in the sense that the podcasts are joint. Both of you seem like nice people, especially in the podcasts. In fact, on the podcasts you seem like nice enough people no matter what you discuss, even when you discuss politics. (Except maybe when you talk about the Clintons, brr...) But on the blogs, you sometimes make a different impression. It's just so.
Another point is that the views of married people in general tend to converge over time.
Speak directly to me, not to him.
Okay, fair enough.
My good nature has been marred by my political views?
As I said, not really so much in person, but certainly there is too much bad-mouthing of others in this blog: liberals, feminists, foreigners, the media, etc. Given your comments, it's probably not the impression that you want to make.
Did I say I go to countries and act like a jackass?
I can believe that you don't. But this post makes you sound tempted.
What I was responding to in this post was the article by MSNBC that referred to Americans as "ugly" when they go abroad. Do they have other articles entitled, "Ugly French Abroad" that you know of?
This MSNBC article is in English and is addressed directly to Americans. Since it's an advice piece, the statement that you shouldn't be the ugly American is fair. You would have to look to foreign publications to see what they say to their own audiences. I'm sure that they do have advice for how the French should be polite when they visit America. Which is not to say that every French tourist will listen to that advice.
I know a lot of people who visit the US from France. Most of them are reasonably polite; some of them aren't. It's the same thing, really. (In fact, some of them can be incredibly warm and formally genteel at the same time, like a Renoir paiting. Those sorts of manners are relatively unusual in English-speaking countries.)
I just think it is derogatory that news outlets say anything negative about Americans they want, yet would not dare say the same about foreigners from other countries.
It's just basic manners not to openly badmouth third parties. Besides, if you want to accuse "news outlets" of always being polite to foreigners, it's certainly not true.
Not that two wrongs make a right.
That's true! It's the most important point of all. Although sometimes it seems like this principle has been thrown onto the liberal, politically correct trash heap of history.
Mike Johnson:
Thanks for your polite response.
My department went over a guide very much like this one prior to receiving some Russian visitors. We also had a briefing from one of the foremost Russian language and protocol experts in the country. She spent a good part of the briefing pointing out the mistakes in the guide.
I have a theory why American tourists are so despised abroad. When I visited France as a graduate student, I did my best to speak the language (and was usually invited to speak in English after my first few stumbling phrases) and generally tried to behave myself. I naturally took time to see some of the sights in Paris, and found myself touched by the [i]Nacht und Nebel[/i] memorial near Notre Dame. My reverie was interrupted by an elderly American snapping at his wife, "What the h***'s this place?"
I began to see a pattern. American tourists tended to be old, loud, grumpy, and ignorant. The less numerous young American tourists were indistinguishable from German tourists (who greatly outnumbered them) and did not stand out.
In other words, it's simply observational bias.
There certainly some selection bias when Europeans see American tourists, but these days there is more going on than that. With a few exceptions, nationalism is not as popular in European countries as it is in the United States. Many of these countries are much smaller and, at least by themselves, have to be less influential than the US is. For example, the Dutch realize that the Netherlands only has 16 million people and that it would be absurd to think that their little country does everything better than everyone else. They have to cooperate with many other countries in order to get anything done, and they do not care all that much about waving Dutch flags on most occassions. (They may like to wave their flags at soccer matches and state ceremonies.)
Many Americans, including President Bush, don't have this perspective. They think of America as a place that does most things better than the rest of the world. In fact, they think of America as God's gift to the world, as the great protector and giver of democracy and capitalism. Now, most Western Europeans are in favor of democracy and capitalism, but this quasi-religious vision of American destiny really, really rubs them the wrong way. It is bad enough to be marginalized by actual American power and it would have been good diplomacy to sugarcoat it as much as possible. Instead, Western Europeans feel insulted by Bush's confidence that American say-so — his say-so — is God's plan. In many cases, they also Bush's version of it as dishonest and a failure.
This political backdrop is why it is an even better idea than usual to be humble if you (as an American) want to do good business in Europe. As a rule, the smaller and better-educated a European country is, the more offended their people will be by an attitude of American superiority, and the less they will share their disgust with you. They may just wait for you to go away. At the other end, nationalism is less out of fashion in France and Russia. So in those two countries, if you let slip some American chauvinism, you may get more arguments in return, but your hosts may actually be somewhat less offended.
The smaller Eastern European countries are a different case. The people there do have their own pride; they also aren't impressed by the American superior attitude. But that negative reaction is tempered by admiration and gratitude that the United States opposed the Soviet Union in the Cold War. For now the pool of gratitude in Eastern Europe is still sizable. But eventually those countries will also move on; or if American diplomacy is lousy enough, their gratitude will be squandered.
Graham,
Thanks for your thoughts.
Having traveled with Brits, Aussies and the much-maligned Germans, I would beg for a Yank any day! Give me a nice polite American who says please and thank you and doesn't wind up with 500 unintentional pictures of me in his family photo album, and I am happy.
RG - stuck in Toronto, where we chased away all the American tourists
Graham, you have taught me the true meaning of humility. Brilliant work. I shall abandon Dr. Helen's blog and spend all my free time reading and re-reading the three (3) posts you have put on yours.
i am a brit, i have travelled to america a few times, and i have seen americans here (not my fiancee i hasten to add).. there is a type of american (or tourist) that expects the country your visiting to roll over and play dead for them. They say it would never happen in the good old.. wherever.. clue... you arent there. respect the culture your in, take a little of that back home with you, i dont like travelling, the worst people to travel with is usually people from your own country, who cant accept the differences..
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