Katrina Fatigue
It appears that communities are growing weary of supporting Katrina victims. I bet this church wishes deep down that they had never watched the Oprah show--thanks to reader Bruce Small for sending me this article:
The church community has offered Moran job opportunites and daycare--but apparently, this woman does not subscribe to the sayings, "God helps those who help themselves" or "don't bite the hand that feeds you". Luckily for Moran though, a women's group is coming to her rescue:
I can't help but think that the church group who supported this user--I mean victim--for a year will think twice before allowing someone else to take advantage of their generosity. In personal relationships, as in relationships between countries, there will always be people who push the limits of other people's good nature.
Moved by the plight of a single mother who appeared on Oprah Winfrey's show last year to tell of losing her home to Hurricane Katrina, members of a Palatine church invited her to live rent-free in their parsonage.
St. Paul United Church of Christ has hosted Keisha Moran, 23, and her children since last September, providing them with the means for starting a new life--including donations of clothing, furniture, food and even a car. But the church now says it is time for Moran and her three children--ages 5, 1 1/2 and 4 months--to leave and get on with life on their own.
"Our commitment was to provide housing for you and to give you an opportunity to become self-sufficient after the losses you experienced from Hurricane Katrina," the church's Executive Council told Moran in a letter. The council said that it is time for Moran to take "the next step" by herself.
One problem: Moran doesn't want to go. She said she is being kicked out prematurely and for no good reason.
The church community has offered Moran job opportunites and daycare--but apparently, this woman does not subscribe to the sayings, "God helps those who help themselves" or "don't bite the hand that feeds you". Luckily for Moran though, a women's group is coming to her rescue:
Other agencies are willing to help Moran immediately, McNamara said. The not-for-profit Women in Need Growing Stronger, or WINGS, has offered Moran and her children housing for at least six months.
"My heart is breaking because we have loved this woman and her children for an entire year and have given everything we have," McNamara said. "We've put our needs second in order to put her needs first."
I can't help but think that the church group who supported this user--I mean victim--for a year will think twice before allowing someone else to take advantage of their generosity. In personal relationships, as in relationships between countries, there will always be people who push the limits of other people's good nature.
posted by Helen at 7:22 AM
35 Comments:
You know, I was thinking about this just the other day. I live in Houston, and I was, and still am, very proud of the role my city played in offering assistance to Katrina evacuees. However, Houstonians have, in the last year, seen our crime rate increase, and this is particularly true of violent crimes. Two-thirds of the crime increase can be directly tied to the evacuee population, either as the victim, the perpetrator, or both. So what should we have done?
Truth is, I don't think anyone is really surprised by this, and in fact the mayor was calling for support for law enforcement and social services, much of which we got, though more would have been better.
But there is another side to this, and that is that in fact the majority of the hundred thousand or so Katrina evacuees who have come to Houston, temproarily or permenantly, have not contributed to the crime spike, and rather have made positive contributions to the community and the economy.
I just don't see how anyone could have seen those images on TV and not responded. Yes, we need to acknowledge that we are taking in a large group of people that includes criminals and welfare-junkies, and we need to adeuately prepare for that. And we need to say enough is enough to the users (you're absolutely right to call her that) like the women you mention. And there will always be people who push the limits of the good nature of others.
But imagine if, say, Mother Theresa had let that stop her.
ada47,
I think that helping people get on their feet is good--teaching them to stand on their own two feet is better but knowing when to cut a freeloader loose is also an important lesson. I would hope that Mother Theresa types would not have a problem with that.
Ungrateful wretch!!!!
We have a few freeloaders at my Church. the Mormon Church has a pretty extensive welfare system, which is supposed to be for members in genuine need. And the system is supposed towork as a measure to help people while they take steps to gaining independence financially or otherwise.
However, we do have the freeloaders, who like the example Helen cited, are in no great hurry to either get a job or do anything else. Unfortunately, the leaders of our congregation seem unwilling to cut them off. damn losers.
Dr. Helen, I knew many years ago a Nun who attended some psych classes with me at a Catholic University. She frequently did missionary work in South and Central America most often in the South West United States and she NEVER had problems cutting off a "user" and she never called them victims, except perhaps victims of their own behavior.
If you choose to help 100 people, a certain percentage of them will be users. Identifying them, cutting them off EARLY is the key here. Perhaps if the United Church of Christ had said This is our second employment/daycare offer, take it or be out in 24 hours something might have changed, but I doubt it. Users tend to blame others for their plight, never accepting responsibility for their actions.
Good Post Doc!
And totally off topic, I finished my last chemo therapy session yesterday, prospects for full and sustained recovery seem to be excellent and I look forward to reading your blog for many, many years to come (and blogging on my own of course.)
GM Roper,
Thanks for sharing the good news on your health--that is the best news I have heard all week!
I think it's tough to help people get "back on their feet" if they never were on their feet. I don't know whether this woman was already one of society's dependents, but if she was, moving her from one host to another couldn't have been expected to change anything.
But even if she hadn't been a dependent before . . . I'm reminded of another factor.
When I was much younger I had a boss who told me that if I walked past someone's house and put a ten dollar bill in their mailbox every day for thirty days, but then on the thirty-first day I walked by WITHOUT putting in ten dollars, I wouldn't have made a friend; I'd have made an enemy.
(Hard lesson for both sides.)
Another example of the welfare mentality where people think it's someone esles job to provide for them. Moran appears to have made a string of poor choices. Unmarried, three children by age 23 and a boyfriend who won't or can't support them, not good.
Maybe she should look to Michael Moore for helf. He featured her at michaelmoore.com and wrote this, "she was furious that it took Bush several days before he came to see the damage in Mississippi." You see, it's all GW's fault.
I wonder if Moran has ever held a job or worked to support herself and her children. She's gotten all sorts of publicity. Ultimately it's a person's own responsibility to provide for themselves and their offspring.
Hubby and I have learned our own lessons, recently, that we should have known, already: When we reach out to help someone on any sustained basis, we need to set limits. How much help and for how long should be established up front. Boundaries need to be clearly established immediately. Even a formerly self-supporting individual can become too dependent, even starting to show signs of a sense of entitlement, where the help has not been tempered with wisdom. As Eric says, a hard lesson for both sides.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The only thing worse than that would be being called a "user" by someone involved in stealing millions from you.
"Another example of the welfare mentality where people think it's someone esles job to provide for them. Moran appears to have made a string of poor choices. Unmarried, three children by age 23 and a boyfriend who won't or can't support them, not good."
I'm sure someone will think of a way that an innocent male with his life on track can be swindled to pay for situations like this. I know: FRAUD.
Found another worse one: People that steal from others babbling about "hard work".
It is like that Seinfeld episode where George doesn't get an apartment he wants, instead it goes to an Andrea Doria survivor. In 2046 will we be hearing "He needs this more than you, he was in Hurricane Katrina."
Just a quick and picky detail...
> this woman does not subscribe to the sayings,
> "God helps those who help themselves" or
> "don't bite the hand that feeds you".
Your point is quite valid, but in discussing what guides a church to act we should replace these secular proverbs with something scriptural.
Second Timothy 3:11-12 says (WEB translation), "For we hear of some who walk among you in rebellion, who don't work at all, but are busybodies. Now those who are that way, we command and exhort in the Lord Jesus Christ, that with quietness they work, and eat their own bread."
The commentor "gm roper" shared the right idea: if the church had proclaimed this standard early and repeatedly then things would have gone more smoothly.
Of course there's that little gem about not stealing as well. And I'm sure there are dozens of passages commanding the return of stolen property.
This is a sad situation. She sat at home for a year, and did nothing to change her situation. I'm sure she isn't ready to go. If I lived rent free, and I had the community giving me everything that I needed, I wouldn't want to leave either.
She's a dependent who expects society to continue to take care of her and her responsibilities. I'm sure she was a dependent in Mississippi as well. She deserves the boot!
Most of them are/were nice people... but there is a group in there that's going to land wherever they land, and prompty resume their previous pattern of behavior.
If they pull this nonsense among Texans, they could fall back on the Texas defense:
"They needed killin'"
It could be worse, you could have churches stealing from people.
As a friend of the church, there is a lot more going on than has been portrayed in the media - i can't even begin to express the disappointment that those involved in the past year are feeling. I honestly believe that she thought she was going to be able to stay rent-free forever...while she partied and ran around.
It's like the old adage: "Your right to swing your arms ends at my nose."
Likewise - your religious opinions end at any part of my body or property. (That means no stealing for "religious" reasons. Which is just stealing.)
Anon 10:54 --
You are anonymous, after all, so why not fill in the blanks for us?
Anon wrote: "I honestly believe that she thought she was going to be able to stay rent-free forever...while she partied and ran around."
Makes me wonder if that was her previous lifestyle and she thought that she had hitched onto a better welfare system. The old adage about teaching a person to fish comes to mind.
Well meaning, good people are often taken advantage of by hustlers. Sorry this happened to this congregation, but there are some good lessons to be learned. How to be supportive of the poor and displaced in a way that fosters independence and personal responsibility is likely one of them.
Trey
Of course stealing from people doesn't "foster independence and personal responsibility". A ploy like that is obviously just an excuse to steal for the "teachers".
Anon (8:03) AM wrote something that I cannot decipher to save my life. What are you trying to say? Are you saying that the chirch was trying to steal from the woman they were attempting to help?
Trey
GOD don't like ugly. Free loader NO, Party all night NO Her kids haven't been left with anyone.Not even at hometown. The church is out right lying,its ashame to say.I know for a fact,they have offered no assistance, didnt even offer to watch the 2 girls when the baby was born.The big thing the offered no resources.Reverands will face GOD one day.He knows truth about what they didn't do.Also, they contacted the Media , not Keisha .Ever think , they are looking for a free donation.Keisha could have gone to a 2500.00 mo condo or a cruise ship.Why go 1000 miles away .Think all you haters ,mean people. Its OK the real people have come to her with all in writing, schools , jobs , moral support all the things she thought the church was offering her in order for her to finish school , In the Medical field.She worked & Attended school in Mississippi. NOTE , She never leaves her kids to go out and party. In fact the first time her oldest child spent the night away from her mother, is when the second child was born, She don't drink , she don't do drugs. You people should find the real abusers to comment about.It is ashame to say , truly believe the Church thought ,because the family was aired on The Opera show , they would recieve tons of donations. Get the TRUTH before you comment . I know this girl well , she is not perfect , but she is well educated a good mother that just wanted a safe place for her children and a chance to finish school .
anonymous 1:53:
It seems to me that if she was offered all the goodies you describe, she would have taken them--like you say, why go 1000 miles away?
I believe the term is enabling and it's common in families and civic groups alike. Taking in this woman and her family was a wonderful mitzvah. By taking off the training wheels this church will ultimately help her achieve the dignity that comes with self-sufficiency.
Hopefully, she's young enough to avoid the pattern of clinging to an endless series of enablers in the future. Then again, 23 isn't that young!
By setting Ms. Moran out into the world to make a life for herself and her family, Reverend McNamara and her congregation have done a great service. They can hold their heads high with pride and have nothing to be ashamed of.
John
Of course none of this should be taken as an excuse for religious or charitable groups to steal - even if they claim they are using the money for a "good cause".
Your opinions, including your religious opinions, stop at any part of anyone else's body or property.
I have no clue, either, Trey, about what anonymous is claiming about religious or charitable groups stealing. Donations to such organizations are voluntary, unlike TAXES! LOL
When many communities and churches were all over the TV post Katrina putting up evacuees in nice houses for a year, etc., I thought back then, oh man, this is going to get ugly. These multigenerational welfare people aren't going to take good care of the place, and they won't take any steps for beyond that first year, and it's going to get ugly come eviction time. The same behaviors that people choose that get them into the welfare lifestyle don't magically go away just because some nice church ladies did a nice thing.
The Bible says lend without expectation of return. I don't think these church people should have had any real expectations from these people. Charity is compromised by strings attached. They had too much invested in seeing a young poor woman become self sufficient, with 3 kids yeah right. What job could she get in a year that would equal or surpass Section 8 housing, food stamps, Medicaid, and the child care necessary to work a job? These nice church people were setting themselves up to be disappointed.
Don't give foolishly, give wisely. Give with a pure heart and don't stake the worth of the gift on what the recipient does or if they're truly worthy (rather than being a flawed human being like the rest of us).
They should have just calmy started charging market rent after the first year (with 30 days notice of course), and switched the utilities to the recipient's name, and offered a ride to the housing office. No need to be nasty about it. If the woman couldn't afford the $1000 or whatever rent plus $400 in electric, water, sewer, garnage, and gas, then, well, it's her decision to pursue other options, and thanks for the free year.
The church people should quit whining though, it makes them look bad and elicits the schadenfreude of others.
If a church or charity group steals or if someone steals and gives the money to charity it isn't "voluntary". It's stealing.
Anonymity is harmful to communication. It would be very meaningful to be able to know whether one person was in fact making all those statements. Pick anything - a favorite obscure natural food, a street you once lived on, or the capcha string at the bottom of your first post, but give us some continuity.
OK, it's been a year. Time to get over yourselves! Pick yourselves up and get on with life! I was a single parent that worked for a living and put myself through college after my youngest started school. NO welfare! NO childsupport!NO help from family! Me and my wonderful children did it! I could have sat around and felt sorry for myself and lived on the work of others! That is not LIFE! These people went through hell! OK, but it's been a year for crying out loud! Get over it and get a life of their own! I gave an entire paycheck to help when this first happened and they showed up in my little Texas town in busses,bought blankets and personal items etc.Then one lady gets on TV and is crying because she had to be housed in a jail for a few days! She had food and a roof over her head! They weren't prepared for the storm and guess what? We weren't prepared to have that many people show up needing our help!We did the best we could! I only worry that by some of these people's actions that perhaps there may not be as many people willing to help if and when it happens again! I remember feeling wounded and hurt because what we did wasn't good enough for her! I remember thinking that the money may have been better spent on my kids? my grandkids? or just paying my own bills? God help me to not let my heart grow hard because of SOME of Katrina's victims.
I know Kiesha now and NO, she is not perfect. What concerns me are the children. Everyday, they look unkept. No shoes in the summer. Sandals for shoes in the winter. No coats. The booster seats aren't buckled in. She's smoking over the baby. She lives rent free now and the rumor is she wants to keep foster children to keep the house she lives in now. More kids? To look crazy like her kids look now? She's young and I hope real soon, she gets it together. I don't think she knows how to 'struggle'. yeah, she was in the parking lot, but besides those 3 weeks, does anyone know if she had to be self sufficient? Perhaps thats what she needs assisstance in.
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