Turning the Tables

Every once in a while, I make a crack about women--I might call a particular woman a jerk or a bully or some other name. I often do it for effect as much as anything else. Why, you may ask, would she say something negative about someone of her own gender?

Because I believe that women can take it. Men, for the longest time, have been the subject of jokes, putdowns and just downright rude expletives, mainly by women, but also by men. This behavior, our society thinks, is somehow acceptable. Men are in power and therefore, the oppressors--of women, minorities or anyone else who dares get in the way of their perceived status. But wait, is this really true, or have the tables turned? There are many areas now where women are in power, yet the male bashing continues. Now, in many circumstances, women are in power, yet they are acting just like the men they complained about.

If you want to see grumbling about men--just head down to an elementary school at the end of a day, like I did once. I went to visit a male teacher and asked a group of female teachers where he was. "He is not here," one of them stated, "he always leaves early." "Yes, just like a man," said another, "always out the door while the rest of us work." This male teacher was in the middle of getting married and lived far away from the school. He was not asked to come back the following year and the male principal as well as the male substitutes left the school also with little explanation. A female principal came in and brought her staff of "good old girls" with her. In this particular elementary school, there is not a single man--they have all been run out.

Men are now the new sex objects. Women feel totally free to comment on men's dress, they straighten ties on men they do not know and touch men in ways that would land a man in diversity training if they did the same to a woman. One man told me recently that a female administrator put her hand inside his shirt, squeezed his pec, and said, "you're looking good, have you been working out?" Try doing that to a woman--put your hand on her boob and say, "hey, these look good, are they real?" Good luck holding on to your job.

Joking about people and making crass comments is seen as the weapon of the minority against the majority. You can do it if you are the right gender or race. The psychological reason that society lets women and certain minorities get away with it is that they are seen as the underdog--they are viewed as weak and not able to tolerate a joke or a negative comment for fear they will crumble. But I think women and minorities are stronger than that. I do not see women as people who are weak--but rather who are strong and autonomous--those types of people do not need the government to intervene on their behalf everytime a negative word is said. In a free society, we should have the right to make offensive remarks and jokes without fear of punishment--even of so-called minorities.