Saturday, November 29, 2008


Now I'e seen everything. Jose at Bracepundit let me know about a new gift for men--mantyhose--a male version of pantyhose. This has to be the stupidist idea I have heard in a long time. I agree with the stylist blog which says:

Unless you're playing Robin Hood or pretending to be Louis XIV (like you do), we think maybe you should pass this trend up in favor of, you know, looking hot. But to each his own, right? Whatever. We don't care what you do on weekends, we're just saying it's not in fashion.

There's even a book, Fashion of the 21th Century - Pantyhose for Men that has been put out by the manufacturer of mantyhose.

I hate pantyhose and I'm a woman, how the hell would a man wear them with all that hair on his legs? Wouldn't that be miserable? Are they trying to turn men into women because women buy more shit? What other reason could there be?


Blogger campy said...

NY Jets legend Joe Namath, trailblazer.

10:56 AM, November 29, 2008  
Blogger Toysoldier said...

Well, this product is at least 5 years too late. They should have put this out during the metrosexual craze. It likely would have sold.

As for the product itself, it really does not make any sense. Most men wear pants, so why would they even need "mantyhose?" No woman I have ever seen wears pantyhose with shorts. No woman I know seems to like them at all. This is just another dumb marketing scheme.

11:20 AM, November 29, 2008  
Blogger GawainsGhost said...

Well, this is just another example of the feminization of men. Or, actually, boys. No real man would ever be caught dead wearing something like this.

Men wear tailored suits, as exemplified in John T. Molloy's Dress for Success, the ultimate book on men's fashion.

11:29 AM, November 29, 2008  
Blogger HMT said...

Hose on women never made sense to me; hose on men, even less.

Men tend to dress for one reason only, practicality. Suit and tie get worn if the job or occasion requires it, but if it's a job or church or party where it's not required you can expect to see a lot of jeans.

By the same token, attracting women is, from the male point of view, a practical matter. If a guy is in an environment where the lion share of the women seem to head towards the "mantyhose" wearing dudes you can bet he'll end up buying a few sets. That, or find a new environment; which is what I'd do if at all possible.

11:32 AM, November 29, 2008  
Blogger smitty1e said...

Coming soon to a metrosexual himbo, hopefully not too near, you!

11:55 AM, November 29, 2008  
Blogger br549 said...

From a practical standpoint, bad for the health. Prostate problems, urinary infections, further problems from keeping the family jewels to close to body heat.Even briefs hold the berries to close to home. Boxers are the way to go. Boxers WITH FLIES. Don't go European, please.

It's just part of a left wing plot to make men have to sit down to pee. Yeah - a conspiracy I tell you! Why, it's anti urinal!

Seriously though, ask your doctor about too much proximity to body heat. Without getting too graphic, when you're hot from exursion, they hang a little low for a reason. Just like they "head for home" if you're cold.

12:14 PM, November 29, 2008  
Blogger The Chief said...

Words fail me.

Oh, who are we kidding? Words don't fail me at all. This is the internet. Opinions will be forthcoming frequently, actual thought behind them, rarely. others have said...why? They're not healthy. They can't be comfortable. I suspect for every woman they might attract there'll be a thousand women who will run the other way, or at least will want to introduce you to their nice dog groomer Steve who has seemed a little lonely since his life partner moved to Florida. What's the point? File it in the fail file.

12:58 PM, November 29, 2008  
Blogger PeteRR said...

I'll dress like Sir Walter Raleigh if they allow me to carry a sword.

1:06 PM, November 29, 2008  
Blogger Cham said...

Okay, the mantyhose might be pushing the limits of what is reasonable, but I would like someone to clue me in as to why men dress the way they do in 2008. The current fashion seems to be, 'Why wear the medium when the XXL will do?'. Shapeless, oversized, baggy pieces, in pants, sweatshirts, shirts and teeshirts. Men's casual button-front shirts worn these days could double as tents if the need arises. You could pack supplies for a 2 week trip into the desert with the number and size of pockets in men's cargo pants. If your friends have any doubt about your favorite sports teams, don't worry, they won't be doubtful for long because your shirt will say it all and say it loud. I'm not sure whether men know where their waistline is (or if they think they have one), the pants seem to hang around the lower end of the hip. That makes it easier for the gut to pop up right over it.

When are men going to realize one size doesn't fit all?

2:52 PM, November 29, 2008  
Blogger Unknown said...

"Unless you're playing Robin Hood or pretending to be Louis XIV..."

Not even then. Use leggings and hosiery, not friggin' pantyhose.

cham --

Men don't dress like that, large boys do.

2:55 PM, November 29, 2008  
Blogger Larry J said...

No real man would ever be caught dead wearing something like this.

Actually, the first time I heard of men wearing panty hose was from a WWII and Korean War infantry vet. He said he wore them in Korea to keep warm. Whether he was telling me the truth or kidding, I couldn't tell but I didn't feel qualified to call him a liar to his face.

8:02 PM, November 29, 2008  
Blogger Rustmeister said...

Larry J's right.

I heard/saw the same thing while stationed in Germany.

The guys who had them were loving life, out there in the cold.

I never got around to getting myself a pair....

10:32 PM, November 29, 2008  
Blogger Factory said...

Whoah! Those are dead sexy.

They come in control top?


11:32 PM, November 29, 2008  
Blogger highlander said...

My wife says that pantyhose are not uncomfortable if they fit properly, and if your physique is such that your thighs tend to rub against one another, she says pantyhose can prevent chafing.

We also have a friend, a very masculine male, who wore pantyhose temporarily when he was learning to ride horseback to prevent chafing with the saddle.

But for regular daily wear by men? No thank you.

11:37 PM, November 29, 2008  
Blogger OldTexan said...

I think not, I might get a yeast infection or some such stuff,all those dangly things are supposed to be able to breath just a bit.

1:27 AM, November 30, 2008  
Blogger lovemelikeareptile said...

I like my Spandex, personally...

2:57 AM, November 30, 2008  
Blogger Will Brown said...

Dr. Helen asked:

I hate pantyhose and I'm a woman, how the hell would a man wear them with all that hair on his legs?

Back in the days when I was still pushing my luck on sports fields and the like (age 30 to 38 - basicly 20 years ago now), I used to wear pantyhose under my socks and braces to keep all the tape from pulling the hair. Trim off the footy part, tape as needed, then cut it all off with bandage scissors after the game. Even when I did shave the legs, cutting the tape off after was always easier through the hose then directly from the skin. Down side was that under impact the hose can slip and rotate around the joint causing the braces to shift out of alignment - not good with articulated knee braces.

Other than for a game or while I was having to wear knee braces for therapeutic reasons under street clothes, pantyhose didn't feature much in my wardrobe (he asserts manfully). While I did, they certainly made life more comfortable and didn't cause any problems with leg hair.

I did have to "ventilate" the crotch area a bit though. Access issues; you understand. :)

4:03 AM, November 30, 2008  
Blogger Cham said...

I had a friend in college that was much older than me. She had spent some years in her 20s working at a lawfirm in New Orleans. She told me that in order to work as a woman in the lawfirm, they made you wear a girdle. She didn't know what a girdle had to do with doing the job well, but she wore one.

I started my career in the early 80s. Several places of employment made wearing pantyhose mandatory, since skirts and dresses were obligatory officewear.

Although my figure is quite good, I don't wear too many skirts and dresses. I haven't worn pantyhbose in years. There is a big ball of them in drawer but I should probably throw them away. Take it from me, no matter what you do with pantyhose they are uncomfortable. They don't make you happy, they don't make you sexy, they make me miserable. They are as ridiculous as girdles.

Socks are a good thing.

8:31 AM, November 30, 2008  
Blogger Derek said...

Stockings and pantyhose have their place in a wardrobe, in my opinion. I think women in dress suits with bare legs sticking out into their fashionable heels look unfinished, like a man in a 3 piece suit wearing white tube socks.

My wife has a few pair that play off patterns in her skirts and really look nice. But that doesn't mean she wears them every day. Plus, when we lived in Minnesota, she'd wear them with slacks because they were an extra layer in winter.

I, for one, still cannot understand how women wear shoes, particularly heels, without hose. And heels with socks is just WAY to 80s for me.

9:29 AM, November 30, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Word on the street is that men have to wear mantyhose to the spa to get their facials, or the spa won't serve them.

Seems to be a 21st century version of "no shirt, no shoes, no service."

Personally, I think it is a sign of the end times, but that's just me.

7:12 PM, November 30, 2008  
Blogger Jack Steiner said...

I wear my mantyhose when I am casing a new bank to hold up. It is a great disguise. They come right off the legs and onto the head.

The best part is that no one ever realizes that the man who was wearing pantyhose on his legs now has them on his head.

11:00 AM, December 01, 2008  
Blogger Jack Steiner said...

I still can't get over this. Who would actually wear these things.

1:29 PM, December 02, 2008  
Blogger George M. Spencer said...

Forty years ago all men wore white cotton button-down shirts. No blue shirts. Pink? Absolutely never. Throat-constricting ties? Always. Snap-brim hat? Mandatory. Cigarettes. Yup. Aqua Velva or Old Spice. Brylcreem. Couple drinks at lunch to relax. Jogging? Running tights? What's that? Change a diaper? Who? Me?

Today "Men's hair "is the last frontier for major marketers," says Burt Flickinger III, managing director of the Strategic Resource Group consulting firm. It is the latest in the rapid assignment of sexes to personal-care products over the past decade or so, including deodorants, skin care, body sprays and, most recently, shower gels, he says. Male shampoos aren't yet a mainstay, because "men tend to treat hair care as a much lower priority than body washes and antiperspirants," Mr. Flickinger says."

This from a piece in yesterday's Wall Street Journal.

3:00 PM, December 02, 2008  
Blogger davod said...

Follow the money. Just maybe a hose manufacturer has a few million pairs of incorectly manufactured hose. Hose manufactured in men's sizes instead of womens sizes. What better way to solve the problem than create a market where there was none.

6:58 AM, December 03, 2008  
Blogger Steve Newman said...

Here's the contrarian viewpoint: I'm a guy and I've been wearing pantyhose for about 10 years or so. Anybody who knows me would assure you that I'm in no way feminized, either. That goes for my wife and 4 kids. Started wearing them for improved leg circulation and ward off the beginnings of varicose veins while still in my late 30s. Didn't want legs looking like a moonscape by age 60.

Since then, I've come across the men's hose sold by ActivSkin (they don't call 'em Mantyhose, or Mannyhose) and became a customer.

While the marginalization of men and boys is definitely a bad thing that needs to be addressed in our society, sheer legwear for men is NOT a sign of the impending apocalypse.

Also, these weren't a marketing ploy to unload a bunch of incorrectly sized pantyhose. Believe me, there are plenty of large women out there who could wear 'em. I know for a fact that ActivSkin ( came about because the founder discovered an untapped resource of men who were wearing women's hose for a variety of reasons like my own (and warmth without bulk, et al) but would've liked to instead have something made specifically for men. That led to the launch of this company in 2000. They've survived and grown for 8 years now, so obviously there are enough males out there buying and wearing men's pantyhose to keep them in the black.

Right now, most people are still not accustomed to the idea--just like earrings for men were such a controversial item 15 or 20 years ago. But, give it time and I think people will get used to the idea and it will eventually fade into the background and no one will even notice if they see a guy wearing tights or hose.

10:19 AM, December 03, 2008  
Blogger br549 said...

I can understand the varicose veins point of view. Many nurses wear the super support type for just that reason. Just like the weird looking shoes they wear because they are good for the feet. I can't speak for warmth without bulk. I don't care about the latest fads, and I still use Old Spice deodorant. I just know that when Rick and Randy get smashed up into the Y, they don't like it. And I have heard from more than one medical source on the possible health hazards. I can't understand why women wear high heels, either. Even though the right legs in the right heels, coupled to the right hips, have taken my breath away more than once.

9:21 PM, December 03, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Totally gay. In the South Park sense of the word.

12:30 PM, December 04, 2008  
Blogger davod said...

Can any male panythose wearer tell me how you get past the itching caused by hairy legs?

4:49 PM, December 04, 2008  
Blogger pst314 said...

"Are they trying to turn men into women because women buy more shit?"

In a word, yes.

8:44 PM, December 04, 2008  
Blogger pst314 said...

"Men tend to dress for one reason only, practicality."

And this drives fashion industry people crazy. They tried for decades to get men to buy new suits every year by changing the styles. Didn't work. ("why should I buy new suits? There's lots of wear left in the ones I have.")

What's really funny is when the designers try to foist totally gay styles on totally straight men. There are few things sillier looking than a man in a suit with shorts and short sleeves. One is a man in a skirt waiting to cross Fifth Avenue.

8:48 PM, December 04, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For the record: I've worn unitards, leotards, and Society For Creative Anachronism armor.

I have no shame.

Male dancers in ballet and modern dance circles have worn leotards and unitards for decades. The only advantage is that it's something other than nakedness so one can dance on stage without being arrested for nudity.

I have worn leotards to costume parties. They are not very practical for day-to-day wear -- no pockets!

Most men who don't want to wear trousers will just wear brief shorts. Scotsmen insist on wearing kilts.

11:05 PM, December 06, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why is the guy in the photo wearing them with denim shorts? I thought the point of unitards/leotards was to force people to stare at one's penis in horrified fascination.

11:08 PM, December 06, 2008  
Blogger Steve Newman said...

for davod, (about how to get past the itching caused by hairy legs?), the answer is, "shave 'em". Aside from eliminating the itchiness (unless you wear cheap hose with not very much lycra/spandex in them), shaving also makes your legs look a helluva lot better than with smashed hair matted underneath them. Also, hose tend to slide down a LOT more with hairy legs than with shaved. If you're not quite ready to take the big leap and shave 'em, just use one of those trimmers and trim the hair to about 1/4" or less. They'll look a lot less unsightly and you can get most of the effect of shaving your legs w/o going 'whole hog' just yet.

4:07 PM, December 10, 2008  
Blogger Unknown said...

I personally prefer wearing Nike Fit or Adidas trainers. They give all the support and warmth that it taunted by the makers of Tights for men. The only interesting thing I saw was a set of tights with patterns on it that made it look almost like a tattoo... That looked cool. But other than that, forget it, pantyhose are too flimsy for most guys... imagine the runs you would get while wearing them against denim...

3:02 PM, January 10, 2009  
Blogger Steve Newman said...

In fact, wearing hose with denim doesn't cause runs. I wear them under jeans pretty often, but I've never had a problem with runs. Now, wearing them with the wrong shoes (and no socks) can be a problem.

6:38 AM, January 13, 2009  
Blogger Chicago-Metro said...

Here is my perspective on these, in Chicago it is really cold. I wear dress pants on a regular basis. I don't like wearing long underwear because most are heavy and or have cuffs. This is a lightweight alternative to add warmth from my perspective. Then when in the office my legs are not boiling. I'm not looking to shave my legs or anything like that. Thinking I will give the darkest black ones a try. Today in chicago it was -8 with a windsheild of -30.

3:54 PM, January 15, 2009  
Blogger Unknown said...

There's nothing wrong about men wearing a pantyhose as long as he wears it right. No men sould ever wear them with shorts because this would look gayish. But if worn under a trousers or any pants then that's just normal. Just remember, a pantyhose is only used by men as a leg comforter not for style.

8:44 PM, February 14, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

1:28 PM, February 25, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just because this woman hates pantyhose doesn't mean that it's bad for men. Each man and woman has his or her own preference. The intolerant jerks on this site who call guys who wear pantyhose "gay" don't even know the meaning of the term "gay".

Besides, Dr. Helen is just another self-righteous rightwinger who thinks pigs can fly. No wonder GOD is PUNISHING America.

1:33 PM, February 25, 2009  
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9:50 AM, May 05, 2009  

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