Dr. Helen

Is Nagging a Marriage Killer?

2012-01-29T06:11:00.003-05:00

It's More Common Than Adultery and Potentially As Toxic, So Why Is It So Hard to Stop Nagging?...

Nagging—the interaction in which one person repeatedly makes a request, the other person repeatedly ignores it and both become increasingly annoyed—is an issue every couple will grapple with at some point. While the word itself can provoke chuckles and eye-rolling, the dynamic can potentially be as dangerous to a marriage as adultery or bad finances. Experts say it is exactly the type of toxic communication that can eventually sink a relationship.

2012-01-26T07:51:00.001-05:00

John Hawkins at Right Wing News interviews Mark Levin on his new book Ameritopia: The Unmaking of America.

"Isn't Two Decades of a Man's Life Worth Nine Months of a Woman's?"

2012-01-25T16:00:00.006-05:00

I spent part of the day re-reading Warren Farrell's amazing book The Myth of Male Power. I often forget how ahead of his time Farrell was when he wrote the first edition of the book in 1993 on why men are the disposable sex. Farrell's take on men's reproductive rights are spot on when he states:

Once a man allows himself to love a child deeply, he wants the right to love equally. He realizes that when a woman and he have created a pregnancy, the issue is not the rights of the female vs. the fetus, but the rights of the female, the fetus, and the father. He realizes that a woman who says "It's my body, it's my business," and then chooses to have a child that she makes him pay for forces him to take a job he might like less just because it pays more; forces him to stress himself out and die early--forces him to use his body for eighteen years. If it's his body being used for eighteen years, and his body dying sooner, shouldn't it be his business, too? Isn't two decades of a man's life worth nine months of a woman's?

The short answer is "yes."

2012-01-25T12:27:00.001-05:00

Amy Alkon: Courts Without Justice: Dads On The Custody Battlefront.

2012-01-20T07:22:00.006-05:00

I am reading Charles Murray's new book Coming Apart: The State of White America, 1960-2010. It's a fascinating look at the polarization within white America. Niall Ferguson, a professor of history at Harvard who reviewed Murray's book states:

No doubt the same politically correct critics will complain about this book, because it is almost entirely devoted to the problem of social polarization within "white America." They will have to ignore one of Coming Apart's most surprising findings: that race is not a significant determinant of social polarization in today's America. It is class that really matters...

Murray meticulously chronicles and measures the emergence of two wholly distinct classes: a new upper class, first identified in The Bell Curve as "the cognitive elite," and a new "lower class," which he is too polite to give a name. And he vividly localizes his argument by imagining two emblematic communities: Belmont, where everyone has at least one college degree, and Fishtown, where no one has any....

What can be done to reunite these two classes? Murray is dismissive of the standard liberal prescription of higher taxes on the rich and higher spending on the poor. As he points out, there could hardly be a worse moment to try to import the European welfare state, just as that system suffers fiscal collapse in its continent of origin.

Great book full of interesting statistics and charts for those of you who like such things.

Girls Who Kill on E! Entertainment

2012-01-19T06:20:00.002-05:00

I was interviewed for a show for an "E! Entertainment Special: When Girls Kill" that premieres tonight, Thursday at 10:00 pm Eastern. The show looks at the case of four young killers, one of them Natasha Wallen Cornett:

Natasha Wallen was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder early in life and spent some time in mental hospitals. During that time Natasha developed a dark fantasy world, and attracted a crowd of like minded teenage outcasts. One April night in 1997, a tragic clash of innocence and evil lead to a violent and horrifying conclusion for Natasha and her friends. Serving a life sentence, Natasha, the alleged ring leader who was once fascinated with satanic rituals, speaks out about her horrible past and now contends that better mental health care as a youth might have prevented her unthinkable actions.

You can see more about the show here.

Update: You can also see the show today (Friday, January 20th) at 11:00 AM eastern and 3:00 PM eastern on E! TV.

"But if the victim were a woman, they wouldn’t hesitate, and the law needs to be enforced equally."

2012-01-18T15:44:00.006-05:00

Laura Curtis at Pursuing Holiness Blog has a post on the double standards when men are sexaully assaulted:

This is an unremittingly bad story. An LSU fan was stupid enough to drink himself senseless in a public place and evidently didn’t have even a single friend willing to look out for him. An mob of stupid Alabama fans assaulted him – putting trash on him and even teabagging him. In fact, they were so stupid that they filmed their crimes and posted them on the internet.

Next, the New Orleans police department – with actual video of a sex crime in their possession- decided they couldn’t investigate unless the victim stepped forward.

Let’s do a little thought experiment. Let’s imagine that this was a girl who drank herself stupid. Let’s imagine that she was touched, her breasts were fondled, and that a man rubbed his genitals on her while she was unconscious. Can anyone imagine the NOPD – or any police department, anywhere – dragging their heels on investigating unless she came forward?

Given the way that our society laughs and mocks men who are abused in this way, I can understand the guy not coming forward, but he must. It is only when individual men start to say "No, this is not justice for all" and endure the ridicule that men everywhere will no longer have to endure their rights and bodies being violated in this absurd manner without consequence.

"...an estimated 50,000 persons are kept in jail or in prison on any given day in the U.S. for child support arrears."

2012-01-13T14:15:00.014-05:00

I was working on some continuing education articles today on legal issues and came across the case of Turner vs. Rogers that I thought would be of interest to readers here. In this case (which examines child support) according to an article on mental health and medical rights by Steven R. Smith, JD:

...the question was whether there is a right to have appointed counsel in such civil contempt proceedings. Typically, such civil contempt findings must be based on the fact that there is a valid child-support order, and that the noncustodial parent was able to comply with it, but failed to do so.

In a 5-4 decision the Court held that the state is not necessarily obligated to provide counsel for indigent parents facing incarceration for civil contempt related to the failure to pay child support. At a minimum, however, states must have in place procedures to ensure "a fundamentally fair determination of the critical incarceration-related question, whether the supporting parent is able to comply with the support order."

There is much more to this case than the lack of counsel being provided that I will not get into here but I was disappointed to see that Justice Clarence Thomas authored a dissenting opinion:

Thomas further argued (with Justice Antonin Scalia, but not Chief Justice John G. Roberts or Samuel Alito joining) that the majority opinion did not consider the effects of this decision with respect to child support payments, and expressed concern that the majority opinion would undermine state efforts to collect child support payments.[4]

What didn't surprise me is how many people (my guess is mostly or all men) are imprisoned for not paying child support:

A person being in arrears on child support payments is not unusual: in 2008, 11.2 million U.S. child support cases had arrears due.[1] The number of persons kept in jail or in prison for child support arrears is not generally tracked. Based on a publicly available collection of relevant data, an estimated 50,000 persons are kept in jail or in person [sic]on any given day in the U.S. for child support arrears.[2] Hence Turner v. Rogers does not merely concern a technical question of legal procedure. Being in arrears on child support payments is a situation that many persons experience. Moreover, as a result of child support debt, many persons in the U.S. are being imprisoned.

If 50,000 on any given day is accurate, it is unbelievable how many men are being kept in jail for owing money. Many people feel that child support is a different kind of debt but I disagree. Debtors' prisons are long gone, so much so that people are actually nonchalant and even contemptuous about owing others money. They know that jail is not an option for them.

I believe that the jails are full of fathers because of their sex exclusively. We have a higher percentage of deadbeat moms, but few are held accountable and I doubt that many, if any, of the 50,000 in jail on any given day are female. Why does our society allow men to be thrown in jail this way? Are there that many chivalrous men and white knights like Thomas out there who believe that men's rights end when it comes to reproduction? Are there that many totalitarian women out there who believe that a man in jail is par for the course and a source of smug satisfaction?

Given how many of our nation's men sit in jail over child support, I guess the answer is a resounding "yes."

We continue to legalize misandry but at what cost?

Are You a Sucker or a Moocher?

2012-01-12T13:21:00.008-05:00

I am reading a copy of a new book by Charles Sykes called A Nation of Moochers: America's Addiction to Getting Something for Nothing. Sykes is also the author of similar titles on entitlement including A Nation of Victims: The Decay of the American Character and Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write, or Add.

The book is good for those who feel like suckers, playing by the rules and paying for those who don't. As you read the book, you can really understand why it is that people vote for wealth redistributionists like Obama. "Roughly 60 percent of American households actually were receiving more government benefits and services than they were paying back in taxes and the Tax Foundation estimated that under the 2009 federal budget, 70 percent of households would take in more than they contribute." Why not keep the gravy train going at little or no expense to themselves? But what about the producers, those who are paying?

One of the central questions of the book is whether we are at the "tipping point." The author asks:

When do independent, self-sufficient men or women realize that they are society's suckers, being made to work for the benefit of an ever-growing, ever-shifting, and increasingly insistent and more grasping class of moochers? When do they decide to jump the line? Are we already there?

In one of the last chapters, Sykes states, "Finally, we need to recognize that mooching simply recycles wealth; it does not generate it."

We all lose if we let the moochers among us dictate our demise. The book gives some suggestions on how to change things but ultimately, it is up to us, by who we elect and our political class to make those changes. If the same losers end up in office, what are the chances? This is one reason that moochers should not be encouraged, either through policy or culture. If we make it more unpleasant to be a moocher, perhaps there would be fewer moochers among us.

So, are you a sucker or a moocher or somewhere in-between? Are you a sucker who has reached the "tipping point?" What do you feel you can do about it, if anything?

2012-01-07T16:57:00.004-05:00

William Broad, author of a new book entitled The Science of Yoga: The Risks and the Rewards, has an interesting article in the New York Times called "How Yoga can Wreck Your Body."

The Difference in the Treatment of Men and Women

2012-01-07T16:30:00.003-05:00

I am in the Caribbean and spotted this t-shirt at a beach shop:

That kind of sums up the double standards between the treatment of men and the treatment of women, huh?

Men's issues on Blog Talk Radio with Amy Alkon

2012-01-01T06:59:00.001-05:00

I will be a guest on Amy Alkon's show on Blog Talk Radio discussing men's issues today, Sunday, January 1st at 4:30-5:30 Eastern. We will also be answering your questions on air.

You can call in to speak with us between 4:30 and 5:30 Eastern on Sunday about men, sex, relationships or culture at (347) 326-9761. So, even if you are still hung over from New Year's festivities on Sunday, call in. We would love to hear from you.

Update: You can click on and listen to the show below:

Listen to internet radio with amyalkon on Blog Talk Radio

Questions Needed for Blog Talk Radio on Men's Issues

2011-12-30T06:28:00.001-05:00

I will be a guest on Amy Alkon's radio show on Sunday, January 1st at 4:30 Eastern and our topic will be men's issues with a focus on paternity rights and relationships. For example, why do men have so few paternity rights? Should you get a DNA test? Why is fatherhood so unpopular that young guys don't want to be dads? Why do women have so many reproductive rights but men have few or none?

Do you have any questions or comments that you would like us to discuss regarding men, relationships, culture or sex? If so, drop them below and we will pick out some to discuss on air. Thanks!

2011-12-26T15:11:00.006-05:00

I read a post over at Amy Alkon's blog entitled "Muzzling Men" that really made my blood boil, and it should make yours boil too, if you care about men and their civil rights. The post was on the work being done by Glenn Sacks and his group, Fathers and Families:

Via Fathers and Families rather outrageous legislation criminalizing men's relationship choices. Glenn Sacks writes:

Fathers and Families has joined with the ACLU of Michigan in opposing the Michigan's Coercive Abortion Prevention Act (CAPA). It is one thing to criminalize violence or threats of violence designed to coerce a woman into having an abortion. It is quite another to criminalize men's personal relationship choices, as CAPA does. Fathers and Families does not take a position on abortion, but we do oppose CAPA.

There's a link at Sacks' site to email their letter to relevant committee members. From an op-ed by Sacks:

HB 5882 [CAPA] actually makes it a crime for a man to "change or attempt to change an existing housing or cohabitation arrangement" with a pregnant significant other, to "file or attempt to file for a divorce" from his pregnant wife, or to "withdraw or attempt to withdraw financial support" from a woman who he has been supporting, if it is determined that the man is doing these things to try to pressure the woman to terminate her pregnancy.

Why not criminalize the use of pregnancy by women to trap men into getting married? This makes as much sense as CAPA. Seriously, why aren't the Nazis proposing these laws tarred and feathered?

"You Have to Practice Happiness."

2011-12-26T08:47:00.004-05:00

Amy Alkon has a good interview up with psychologist Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky on her book The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want.

Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky says that the components of happiness are estimated to be 50% genetic, 10% life circumstances, and 40% of happiness comes through your thoughts and actions: the latter is where one can practice to improve their life.

Do you agree with this analysis?

2011-12-25T06:49:00.001-05:00

Merry Christmas!

I Have a Dream

2011-12-23T08:29:00.006-05:00

I wonder what would happen if the media treated the Republicans and Libertarians as well as they treated Democrats for one year? Some negative images against the right are very obvious but others are more subtle. For example, I was researching some information about marriage and how some were lasting longer. I ran into this paragraph at the Washington Post:

“The odds of getting divorced are much lower for educated and affluent Americans, the escapades of Schwarzenegger and John Ensign notwithstanding,” Wilcox said, referring to the former governor of California and the former senator from Nevada.

In this story by Carol Morello, she could have just as easily chosen quotes from someone who talked about the marital escapades of Democrats John Edwards or Bill Clinton but she didn't.

Why not?

Some people may feel that examples like this are not important but the negative obvious and subtle hostility floating around in the culture against those on the right leads to results like this: Despite their sinking employment prospects and the negative direction of the country, "60% of millennials blame Obama's opponents for his inability to get anything done." Maybe if they stopped the blame and realized that Obama's policies are not in their favor, their generation would do better. But it "feels good" to be popular, go along with the media and look cool by agreeing with the propaganda handed out in school, the media and their peers.

What would happen if the media made it "cool" to be a free market capitalist, discussed the virtues of F. A. Hayek or Milton Friedman, or even told those millenials that youth unemployment may possibly be a result of Obama's failed policies. I know it will never happen but one can dream, can't they?

How about just one year in which the right was treated with kid gloves the way the left is now as an experiment to see what would happen? Given all the negativity in the press against the right, it's amazing they do as well as they do.

Why Kris Humphries Should Serve as a Role Model for Men

2011-12-21T05:12:00.007-05:00

It's better to die upon your feet than to live upon your knees!- Emiliano Zapata (and others) and later Kris Humphries when talking to wimpy Scott Disick on the Kardashian show "Kourtney and Kim Take New York."

The Kardashian women have taken something else besides New York--the dignity of their men. Have you ever watched this show? I have to admit that I have watched Keeping Up with the Kardashians for the past few years but recently, it has become nothing but a disgusting display of female bullying and male groveling, until Kris Humphries came along and decided he wasn't having any of it. Bravo to him!

If you have watched the show, you will know that the mother of the show, Kris Jenner, has served as the emasculating matriarch to her Olympic-athlete husband, Bruce Jenner, for years. He puts up with the Kardashian putdowns, insults, and nonsense by avoiding them or playing golf. The only comforting thing about Jenner is that he is quite rich on his own, and is probably just playing along for the show. Or maybe this isn't comforting at all, since he has fallen from Olympic-hero to hen-pecked, overlooked husband with no input into his family's life with all the world watching.

Then there is Scott Disick who originally looked like the poster-child bad-boy who trained under Roissy on how to treat women. He ignored his girl-friend Kourtney, ran around, drank and was full of anger. Then after Kourtney had their son Mason, he starts to "settle down." Could he have learned to be a better partner? Yes, of course, but with some backbone. Now, he is banished to his own room to look at porn while Kourtney prances around with their two-year old son. He gets no sex, sleeps alone and spends his days on Kourtney and Kim Take New York telling Kris Humphries not to do anything to agitate the girls.

For example, on a recent show, Kim and Kourtney are heading to LA for business and tell the guys they are not allowed to have anyone in the hotel suite. Kris wanted to relax and have friends over for a party but he was told that no one was allowed to be there while they were away. Kim and Kourtney had spent the previous weeks filling the house up with women, friends and a naked male yoga instructor. Kris was disgusted but no one cared.

Kris finally cared enough about himself to get out of this marriage (though it apparently was Kim who filed for divorce) and fought back to boot. Kim had tried to tell him where he would live, how he would live and how he would dress and behave. Yes, Kris, it is better to die on your feet than live on your knees. I just wish there were other men in bad relationships who had the nerve to stand up to the women in their lives the way that you did.

Is a Good Blogger Thick-skinned or Well-Read or Both?

2011-12-19T15:27:00.011-05:00

Do you think that a book on the technique of blogging can help you be a better blogger? I'm not so sure but I did pick up a copy of Writing for the Web: Creating Compelling Web Content Using Words, Pictures, and Sound to see if maybe I was missing something.

Somehow, I feel that good bloggers are those who have good topics, read a lot of blogs, read and write and practice their craft fairly frequently. But, in order to stick with blogging, I think you need a thick skin. It seems like a number of fairly good bloggers quit because they feel upset, fed up, insulted or demeaned. I once had the head of a medical program write to tell me he was upset because he saw something negative about himself in another blog that I had linked to; I had actually defended his position to some degree but he blamed me for linking to someone who thought he was less than perfect. I don't think he would do well in the web world where negativity is often the name of the game.

Anyway, a book on blogging technique? I suppose it could be useful. Lynda Felder's book makes some good points. She talks about the importance of making a commitment to writing either daily or weekly, pursuing your passions, keeping content fresh, and writing succinctly. The book seems most helpful for those who are new to blogging or who want to add more images, sound and video to their website and need information on style and substance.

What qualities define a good blogger in your opinion?

"A Geek's Dream Come True"

2011-12-18T06:47:00.003-05:00

I am reading a new magazine by O'Reilly Media called MAKE: Technology on Your Time. It's a quarterly magazine put out for those who love DIY projects and according to the product description, "it unites, inspires and informs a growing community of resourceful people who undertake amazing projects in their backyards, basements, and garages."

Okay, I'm not too much into DIY projects but I love reading about people who are. In the special issue I am reading (Feb. 15th, 2012), called the Ultimate Kit Guide, I found out that kits are the "gateway DIY project."

They teach skills, make things more fun, are a great way for parents and kids to share something, and drive innovation. Dale Dougherty, the publisher and founder of the magazine states, "Kits also help create the kind of highly skilled amateurs who drive innovation and economic renewal....We know the next Steve Jobs is out there right now, building kits."

A reviewer over at Amazon says:

I just received the premiere issue of Make Magazine from O'Reilly yesterday. Let me just say this mag is a geek's dream come true. It's not a magazine about coding. Heck, I'm not sure if calling it a magazine is even accurate. It's more of a journal or zine (but with higher production values). A geek quarterly, if you will.

If you like DIY projects or know someone who would, this seems like a good gift for yourself or for them.

Do you build things in your basement, garage or backyard or know someone who does? I would love to hear why and how you got started.

2011-12-15T07:48:00.005-05:00

Carrie L. Lukas, author of The Politically Incorrect Guide to Women, Sex And Feminism has a post up entitled "Pro-Male Affirmative Action?" that makes a good point:

Indeed, the entire concept of pro-male affirmative action undermines the feminist cause. Admitting that women so dominate academia that men need special rules to compete exposes as absurd the feminists' continued push for funding for girl-power programs (such as those related to math and science) and their continued fixation on the exact number of female college athletes.

Gifts for Boys and Teens

2011-12-10T11:32:00.001-05:00

Are you looking for a fun toy for the boy or teen on your list? Here are the most popular ones that readers have been buying up from Amazon:

First is the the Snap Circuits Extreme SC-750 that can build over 750 experiments with 80 parts. Next is the LEGO Mindstorms NXT 2.0 which is described as follows:

Take LEGO to the next level with MINDSTORMS NXT 2.0. Combining the versatility of the LEGO building system with a microcomputer brick and intuitive programming software, this building kit enables you to construct robots that see, speak, feel, and move. Designed for ages 10 and up, the 2.0 robotics tool set features everything you need to create and program your first robot in approximately one hour.

Finally, a popular item is the Scientific Explorer's Mind Blowing Science Kit for Young Scientists. This kit is for younger kids from 4-8:

This smartly designed science kit allows young scientists to perform several amazing science experiments that range from erupting a color-changing volcano to growing colorful, jiggly crystals. Young scientists will learn about basic principles behind the science including the difference between acids and bases, and how to use a test tube and pipette.

The last toy mentions that adult supervision is necessary. Anyway, that seems to be what people are buying at Amazon for younger guys. If you have some additional suggestions, drop them in the comment section.

" It’s not our cultural programming that sets our standards for beauty; it is our instinct."

2011-12-03T09:22:00.003-05:00

I am reading a book by Michael and Mary Eades called The 6-Week Cure for the Middle-Aged Middle: The Simple Plan to Flatten Your Belly Fast! The book gives good information on how to reduce your stomach, hence the title. But what caught my eye was the cultural implications of belly fat from an excerpt of the book:

In 1991, feminist Naomi Wolf opined, “Beauty is a currency system like the gold standard. Like any economy, it is determined by politics, and in the modern age in the West it is the last, best belief system that keeps male dominance intact.” In other words, Ms. Wolf views our opinion of beauty as being based not on any innate or inborn sense of what is attractive, but as a product of our cultural indoctrination. We think a pretty face is pretty or a flat belly is attractive for no other reason than that’s the way we’ve been programmed to think by the society in which we live. The covers of Playboy, Playgirl, Vogue, and Cosmopolitan, she claims, set our standards for attractiveness, not the reverse. According to Wolf and others of her opinion, there is no universal standard for human beauty. Were we not programmed by advertisers and the entertainment industry, we would find a fat man or woman just as attractive and desirable as a thin one.

We disagree.

Years of serious scientific study, across numerous disciplines, prove otherwise. Our attraction to a pretty face and a flat belly is in our genes and is an atavistic throwback to a time when such features represented health and the ability to reproduce—important requirements in the selection of a mate. As Harvard Professor Deirdre Barrett puts it, these deep-seated universal standards of beauty “reflect our evolutionary need to estimate the health of others from their physical characteristics.”

What do you think? Is belly fat a reflection of health? What about women who are very thin and have trouble getting pregnant because of low body fat?

Is Physical Strength the Most Important Thing in Life?

2011-11-30T11:51:00.003-05:00

Glenn received a copy of Mark Rippetoe's updated new book Starting Strength, 3rd edition in the mail this week and I couldn't resist thumbing through it. The new version is terrific with lots of pictures and details about how to perform basic barbell exercises. This updated edition seems a lot bigger and more detailed than the 2nd edition. The book takes the reader through the proper form for squats, deadlifts, presses and a number of other exercises. It would make a great gift for the weightlifter or exercise buff on your list.

As an aside, Rippetoe says that physical strength is the most important thing in life. "A weak man is not as happy as the same man would be if he were strong." I used to disagree and think that intellect was more important. I'm not so sure anymore; on days that I feel good, my life seems perfect, when I feel ill, not so much.

Do you think physical strength is the most important thing in life or do you think intellect or spirituality take precedence?

The Solution: Stop Nagging and Treat Husbands with More Respect

2011-11-29T07:01:00.004-05:00

A reader (thanks!) sent me a link to a CNN article by Martha Brockenbrough, author of Things That Make Us (Sic): The Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar Takes on Madison Avenue, Hollywood, the White House, and the World. Frankly, this bitchy title should tell you that this snarky writer would have no more tolerance for husbands than she does for those who don't use perfect grammar.

Anyway, the article entitled "Why we get mad at our husbands" is simply a rant against husbands and dads who don't listen, drop whiskers in the sink, can't deal with the kids and make some women (including her friend)) feel that they are "married to nothing more than a hairy man-child."

The author is upset that her husband doesn't listen to her. After reading her nasty piece, I can see why. The gist of it is that men don't do enough and that women are angry that men aren't more like.... of course, women:

The ones we also really need to talk to, however, are our husbands. The fact that so many moms are mad, and that so many of the complaints are similar, is significant. And maybe that can give all of us moms -- who love our husbands but wish they'd just be...more like us -- the push to make some changes, to delegate more and demand more for ourselves. Anger can be debilitating -- but it can also be motivating.

Maybe what Brockenbrough should realize is that women feel anger more deeply than men and tend to do more complaining. Maybe the changes need to start with her and her angry fellow women. When you spend your time nagging someone constantly about their faults, whether the "fault" is their less than stellar grammar or what you perceive to be inadequate parenting etc., than it's no wonder they tune you out. As Gandhi said, "be the change you want to see in the world." Stop nagging and ranting and treat your guy with respect, maybe then, he will be more receptive to your requests.

For men out there, if a woman seems angry, does that make you more likely or less likely to comply with her demands (requests)?

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T07:56:00.002-05:00

I hope everyone has a great time today, whether hanging out alone or with family and friends. We will be enjoying my husband Glenn's lamb recipe along with turkey again this year. Hope you all have a great day.

If "all men are pigs," why is a pig's life worth more than a man's?

2011-11-21T17:25:00.004-05:00

It's interesting that a woman is facing 50 years in prison for decapitating her boyfriend's piglet but if she killed him, she would probably face a lot less, with an average prison sentence of about six years. When a man's life is worth less than a pig's, it tells you something pretty sinister about our society.

2011-11-21T14:13:00.003-05:00

I was reading the Globe and came across an article about actor James Garner and a new book on his life called The Garner Files: A Memoir.

The article mainly focuses on Garner's use of pot (seriously, an actor who is a pothead, is there anything more cliche?) but more interesting to me was a short paragraph about his abusive stepmother who left him damaged and with a "hair-trigger temper." Garner's mother died when he was four and his father, Weldon, remarried a woman named Wilma, who was nicknamed "Red."

"That's when his real troubles began.

"Red was a nasty b**h, Garner writes. "She enjoyed beating the bejesus out of us.

"On top of the beatings, Red liked to put me in a dress and make everyone call me 'Louise.' Whenever I did anything wrong, I'd have to go put that dress on. I became introverted, and it took a long time before I came out of my shell."

Garner finally exploded, flattened Red with a punch and started choking her. His father kicked his wife out, but not before the damage was done.

The actor admits he now has a hair-trigger temper...

I'm surprised that "being the card-carrying liberal" that Garner says he is, that he related this story as it is hardly PC, but it sounds like turning the tables on his stepmother was the only way out of her clutches and at least the father put her out of the house. Maybe that was his turning point.

I wonder if you could get away with "punching a woman" and starting to choke her in today's PC climate? More than likely, a boy being abused today would be hauled to juvenile court if he hurt a woman and might even be told that wearing girl's clothes was good for him and step-mom was just teaching him to be more empathetic towards girls. The dad might be warned that if he "put the woman out of the house," he would be sorry. Or maybe not.

What do you think?

2011-11-16T11:41:00.000-05:00

Dr. Wes: Pacing without wires.

Is "Forever Lazy" the Future of Adult Americans?

2011-11-13T14:43:00.009-05:00

Has anyone out there seen this ridiculous commercial for "Forever Lazy" that advertises adult fleece pajamas made to keep you warm while you loaf in the house or even outside? I saw it this afternoon and really wondered about the future of Americans. Yeah, I know we already have the Snuggie but this just goes one step further and it is the ad and the way that people are portrayed that brings home the message that resting on your laurels and living the "lazy" way is the best method to dealing with the economy as it is today: by just throwing on your fleece PJs and tuning out the world.

The ad says that you can wear these pajamas rather than turn up the heat to save money. There are also clips of dad "doing what he does best," sleeping on the couch. The fleece "one piece" looks like something a baby would wear, complete with a flap to go to the bathroom. Is this the future of adults in this country? A future where the populace spends their time sleeping and loafing at home rather than working, being infantalized by a nanny state government and wearing this contraption because they are too broke to afford heat and too lazy to fight back? That's a depressing thought. Or maybe it is an ingenious way of "going John Galt?" Or are people just cold? What do you think?

Cross-posted at PJ Media Lifestyle blog.

Mental Health Cuts in the News

2011-11-11T17:06:00.008-05:00

Today, I have seen several news stories about cuts in mental health. On CBS news, there is a slide show with the top 15 states that have cut services from 2009 to 2012. The states range from Missouri and Idaho to Virginia, Massachusetts and Washington D.C. (I know, it's not a state but it's listed).

Then, I saw that our local mental health hospital, Lakeshore Mental Health Institute will shut down in June of 2012. One of the reasons? Patients do better in the community. Sure they do.

Finally, I saw that no psychologists or psychiatrists want to take Tricare, the insurance for military personnel and many soldiers and their families are having trouble getting services:

TRICARE's psychological health benefit is "hindered by fragmented rules and policies, inadequate oversight and insufficient reimbursement," the Defense Department's mental health task force said last month after reviewing the military's psychological care system.

Just wait until Obamacare kicks in, then no one will be able to get services. But at least people will feel good about themselves. I also want to point out that many times, people think that it was the Republicans closing the mental hospitals and putting people onto the streets. Nope, that trend started with Jack Kennedy:

Numerous social forces have led to a move for deinstitutionalisation. However, researchers generally speak of six main factors: criticisms of public mental hospitals, incorporation of mind-altering drugs in treatment, support from President Kennedy for federal policy changes in the treatment for those with mental illnesses, shifts to community based care, changes in public opinion of those with mental disabilities, and individual state's desire to reduce cost of mental hospitals.[1]

Now, many of those people who were in hospitals are in our jails and prisons. Is that an improvement?

Nicholas Cummings in the book Destructive Trends in Mental Health: The Well Intentioned Path to Harm discusses the problems that mental health professionals have had over the years. One is that they are too political and because of that (in my opinion), there is no respect for my field any longer. It could be that the public sees us as a bunch of quacks. However, throwing the baby out with the bathwater isn't the answer. There are many people out there who are hurting and many of them do get help. Indeed, in my career, I saw people in mental institutes who saw the place as their home and did not want to leave.

Anyway, I guess when times are tough, mental health is the first to go. What do you think? Is this good, bad or are you neutral on this trend?

Conservatives: Don't Play into Alinsky's Hands

2011-11-08T06:19:00.003-05:00

Make the enemy live up to their own book of rules. You can kill them with this...
Saul Alinsky, Rules for Radicals

I read with disappointment Andrew Klavan's post over at PJ Media entitled "Why We Should Be Unfair to Herman Cain" in which he explains that it is the right, not the left who must be fair:

And yes, it’s unfair. But there’s a reason it’s unfair—a reason it should be unfair. There’s a reason we right wingers vet our candidates while the left adulates theirs, a reason we condemn our miscreants while the left elevates theirs, a reason our news outlets cover stories that the left covers up.

The reason is: we’re the good guys. We have to do what’s right. The left doesn’t. Sorry, but that’s the way it works. It’s the price you pay for defending what’s true and good, the price of holding yourself to a high moral standard. Our politicians have to be better than their politicians. Our journalists have to be more honest. Even our protesters have to behave with decorum and decency—and still suffer being slandered—while theirs can act like animals and commit acts of violence and lawlessness and spew anti-semitic filth and still find themselves excused and glorified...

Herman Cain is going to have to run the gauntlet, not just of a racist and dishonest left that wants to destroy him but of a fair-minded and decency-loving right that wants him to come fully clean and let the voters decide how we should proceed. The fight for truth, liberty and morality requires sacrifice and self-examination. The self-righteous quest for power over others does not.

The world is just as unfair as you think it is. You’ll never catch the devil hanging on a cross.

Bullshit. What Klavan is advocating is political suicide. He might as well have taken his playbook from Saul Alinsky's Rules for Radicals where Alinsky's fourth rule is "Make the enemy live up to their own book of rules. You can kill them with this..."

Mr. Klavan, telling the right that they have to live up to some impossible standard while excusing the left is laughable. All it will get you is defeated. Do you remember the Fresh Prince of Bel Air episode where Will Smith's Uncle Phil was running for political office? His opponent, the guy who played George Jefferson in The Jeffersons bad-mouthed Uncle Phil all over the media. The family told Uncle Phil that he needed to fight back but Uncle Phil stated that he was "not going to sink to that level." He lost the election by a landslide. He did eventually get appointed to the office when his opponent died by the governor but that's not the point.

The point is, we must not let the left use our morality to hold us hostage. You may never catch the devil hanging on the cross, but your double standard will leave the right hanging in defeat, just like Uncle Phil, but without the safety net of his opponent dying. Life isn't a nostalgic TV show or fiction book. The good guy doesn't always win just because you want him to. And though you can feel noble about being the honorable one, honor is no substitute for the loss of freedom, increased government regulation, and economic woes that our country will suffer if the left wins on election day.

Why was Sharon Bialek Fired?

2011-11-07T16:43:00.005-05:00

After reading the news and watching the videos of Sharon Bialek, the Herman Cain accuser, I noticed that many of the articles mentioned that Bialek was fired or let go " from the NRA’s educational foundation." However, none of them mentioned why. Being let go or fired is more serious than simply being laid off. I wonder why there is no mention of the reason she was fired? This might give more insight into her character and whether she is a trustworthy person or not. Why was she fired? Does anyone know or has anyone seen a report as to what happened with her job in the summer of 1997? Here is more from the New York Times:

Ms. Bialek said she first met Mr. Cain during her time at the association’s Chicago office, when he sat next to her at a dinner during one of the group’s conventions. He later invited her and her boyfriend to an after-party in his hotel suite, she said.

But the alleged harassment did not occur until after she was fired, she said. Sue Hensley, a spokeswoman with the restaurant association confirmed that “Sharon Bialek was employed by the National Restaurant Association Educational Foundation from 12/30/96 – 6/20/97.”

She didn't work there long, I wonder what happened?

Most people have about 2 people they consider friends.

2011-11-06T09:21:00.007-05:00

A new study shows that most people have only two good friends:

About 48 percent of participants listed one name, 18 percent listed two, and roughly 29 percent listed more than two names for these close friends. On average, participants had 2.03 confidantes. And just over 4 percent of participants didn't list any names.

The study asked what the friends did for people such as provide companionship, loan money, give you a place to crash etc. and those with one friend said that their friend would not provide such things. I wonder if people just say that they have friends when what they really have are acquaintances? And what if your spouse is your friend? Does that not count?

Maybe more of us need to read books like How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie if we want friends or Living Alone and Loving It: A Guide to Relishing the Solo Life if we don't.

Do you think it's important to have friends?

Hottest Holiday Toys for 2011

2011-11-01T18:49:00.008-04:00

Now that Halloween is past, there is more talk of Christmas and holiday gifts as retailers, I am sure, are desperate this year to increase their profits.

I am already looking for holiday gifts and took at look at CNBC's list of "Hot Holiday toys" to get some ideas. The list looked pretty much like updated versions of old toys such as the Sesame Street Let's Rock Elmo that interacts with kids 18 months to 3 years old and recognizes which instrument they give him. Nerf is putting out a new line of four guns that shoot greater distances for kids 8-10 or so. The Nerf Vortex Praxis is said to be the least expensive of the bunch and seems kind of fun. Finally, there is the top toy of the CNBC list called My Keepon - Interactive Robot that is supposed to be exclusive to Toys ‘R Us but it seems to be on Amazon, at least when I looked and there were a few left. A couple of the comments at Amazon did not make this toy sound too good, however.

Anyway, the holiday season is always fun for kids and for adults who like toys. What were your favorites as a kid or now?

"But don't let it eat you up to the point it changes who you are."

2011-10-26T17:34:00.001-04:00

Great advice from Rush Limbaugh to a young man who is sick and tired of all the freeloaders and moochers in our society.

2011-10-26T11:38:00.002-04:00

Frank J, author of the upcoming e-book, Obama: The Greatest President in the History of Everything, has an amusing piece in the NY Post entitled "Why we must lose the darn 1 percent." Many readers here will know Frank J and realize it (unlike the first NY Post commenter) but yes, the piece is satire.

Are Men Lonely at the Top?

2011-10-26T06:39:00.005-04:00

I am reading a new book called Lonely at the Top: The High Cost of Men's Success written by psychologist Thomas Joiner. Initially I thought that this was just another book undermining men's success by proclaiming that if men are successful at work, they can be setting themselves up for loneliness and suicide by middle-age or beyond. This negative interpretation of men's success seems to pop up in the media and culture from time to time to punish men for not being "more like women."

That said, while I felt that Joiner's book subtlety promoted the message that if you are male and "on top," you would suffer for it, he also had some good ideas about how men could improve their mental health and did seem to have some empathy for his fellow man. He gives an example of his clinical treatment with a man who was depressed every November and couldn't figure out why. It turns out that 14 years ago, in November, his wife had left him after giving birth to their son. The man had been confused, never grieved her loss and instead, sunk into a depression. Once he understood what had happened and worked through the loss, the depression lifted.

Joiner makes a good point about men not seeking treatment often enough, though given the anti-male climate of the mental health crowd, who can blame them? However, instead of saying "get to a therapist if male and depressed," he gives simple and effective solutions that can lessen depression in men. These include phoning someone everyday or having even a short polite conversation, getting back to nature and getting good quality sleep which he says, is often difficult for men.

The book has some decent advice for men or their loved ones who want to decrease the depression in their lives. Just watch out for the PC chapters by the author such as the one entitled, "Causes, Don't Tread on Me--the Perils of Independence."

Good grief, without this independence, nothing would get done. The author does acknowledge that independence is important, along with connection, but sometimes connection is another word for submission. I get the feeling that this author is not keen on political autonomy if the reader is male and right-leaning.

Anyway, any thoughts from readers out there on loneliness and success for men? Do you think it is lonely at the top or is it just a buzzword for men acting more like women in our society?

2011-10-21T15:04:00.003-04:00

Michelle Tillis Lederman, author of The 11 Laws of Likability: Relationship Networking . . . Because People Do Business with People They Like, discusses why it's important to expand your network outside your group at CNBC.com.

How to Break Bad Habits

2011-10-19T08:57:00.007-04:00

I'm reading a helpful little book by Darren Hardy called The Compound Effect with the subtitle: "Jumpstart your income, your life, your success." What I like most about this book is that it addresses bad habits and how to overcome them using a variety of methods that seem to make sense.

I have a couple of bad habits at the moment: too much caffeine and too much time on devices that are giving me text neck. The Compound Effect, according to the book, is the principle of reaping huge rewards from a series of small, smart choices. The author has you write down every time you engage in one of your bad habits and very slowly, work towards changing them.

For example, today, I stayed off my electronic devices for most of the morning but obviously not all morning as here I am blogging about my bad habit of using the computer etc. Anyway, I am also going to try substituting my afternoon caffeine fix (which sadly, is very little, but I am supposed to have none as I have heart problems) with some de-caf green tea. Yuck. Anyway, I'll see how this works out. The book does seem to be a good one, and if nothing else, is so cheerful and positive that it is worth the price for that alone.

Do you have any bad habits that you have been able to break through small, smart choices?

Amazon cutting out publishers

2011-10-17T08:27:00.003-04:00

I saw this New York Times article over at CNBC about Amazon publishing books directly with top authors:

Amazon.com has taught readers that they do not need bookstores. Now it is encouraging writers to cast aside their publishers.....

It has set up a flagship line run by a publishing veteran, Laurence Kirshbaum, to bring out brand-name fiction and nonfiction. It signed its first deal with the self-help author Tim Ferriss. Last week it announced a memoir by the actress and director Penny Marshall, for which it paid $800,000, a person with direct knowledge of the deal said.

Publishers say Amazon is aggressively wooing some of their top authors. And the company is gnawing away at the services that publishers, critics and agents used to provide.

I love that guys like Tim Ferris, author of some pretty entertaining books like The 4-Hour Workweek and The 4-Hour Body: An Uncommon Guide to Rapid Fat-Loss, Incredible Sex, and Becoming Superhuman can now bypass mainstream publishers altogether. Soon other lesser known writers will join him, without the need for a publisher. It's about time.

"If I'd been kept in the dark by a federal task force, I might not have been here to write this."

2011-10-14T13:34:00.002-04:00

A reader sent me an article from the Mercury News entitled "Milken: Why block a cancer test that saves lives?"

The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF), a panel supported by a congressional mandate, now recommends that healthy men not receive prostate-specific antigen (PSA) tests, which measure a protein in the blood produced by prostate tissue. I agree that the current PSA test is inexact and, in many cases, leads to overtreatment that can have terrible side effects such as incontinence and impotence. However, research supported by the Prostate Cancer Foundation has led to the development of several new molecular markers that could soon complement or even replace the PSA test. These new tests, now in clinical trials pending approval from the Food and Drug Administration, should greatly improve diagnosis and treatment of prostate cancer. In the meantime, the USPSTF recommendation is a disservice to the majority of men. While it would eliminate some short-term health care costs, long-term costs of treating metastatic disease would be higher. And some men will die. A recent European study showed that testing reduced deaths significantly among men ages 55 to 69....

The Prostate Cancer Foundation agrees with the American Urological Association that PSA screening provides important information for men and their doctors. In 1993, I was one of those "healthy" men the task force says should not be tested. I asked for the test. The result was a reading six times the upper limit of normal. If I'd been kept in the dark by a federal task force, I might not have been here to write this.

Do you have "Text Neck?"

2011-10-13T07:48:00.003-04:00

I think I do. Not from texting, as I don't do much of that, but from the computer, writing, and using a calculator constantly. After reading about Text Neck over at Instapundit, I self-diagnosed myself and decided this morning to spend a few minutes doing neck stretches and strengthening exercises from a great book I use called 8 Steps to a Pain-Free Back: Natural Posture Solutions for Pain in the Back, Neck, Shoulder, Hip, Knee, and Foot. If you have problems in any of these areas, try this book, it has helped me a lot.

Anyway, according to an article on this disorder over at the Daily Mail:

'Our muscles are designed to flex and retract,' he told Mail Online.
'If you stay in a fixed posture for too long like peering over a phone you are putting those muscles under stress.'
Mr Hutchful said leaning the head forwards was like holding a 10 to 12lb weight away from the body.
'Muscles will go into spasm if they have to hold such a position,' he said.
He added that tall young women with slender necks were anatomically most at risk from neck problems, as were sedentary people not used to using different muscles.

The article has several tips from a chiropractor to combat text neck such as taking frequent breaks and rotating your shoulders forward to increase blood flow.

Do you have text neck? How do you combat it?

Most amusing comment I've read about the "Occupy Wall Street activists"

2011-10-09T08:50:00.003-04:00

The easiest way to make them shut up and go home is to offer them work involving honest, physical labor. They will scatter like the cockroaches they are.

The Secret of Selling Anything

2011-10-06T19:23:00.004-04:00

I am reading Harry Browne's book The Secret of Selling Anything. Actually, it's an old book that he wrote years ago and after his death in 2006, his widow Pamela Wolfe Browne, found two manuscripts and made them available at the Harry Browne website. Harry Browne, if you remember, was the libertarian presidential candidate in 1996 and 2000. I was always a big fan of his, voted for him and read several of his books, including my favorites How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World and Why Government Doesn't Work.

The book on selling is described as "A road map to success for the salesman...who is not aggressive, who is not a smooth 'talker' and who is not an extrovert." Browne uses his libertarian principles in the first chapters of the book to help the reader understand his own nature and that of others. His first law of human nature is "all individuals seek happiness." Browne says that the second law is that happiness is relative, each individual will look for happiness in different ways. Throughout the book, Browne teaches that succeeding at selling means finding out what people want and helping them to get it. A good salesman finds out what will make a person happy enough to part with his or her money. Browne's discussion of libertarian principles and how it applies to selling is worth the read.

New Back-Up Blog

2011-10-05T06:25:00.004-04:00

Hi all,

I am having trouble yet again with Blogger locking me out of my account due to my password being changed. I have a back-up blog now at drhelenblog.com. I have also put a link to the back-up blog in the sidebar.

"How to Win a Fight" is out today

2011-10-04T06:33:00.002-04:00

I wanted to let readers know that Larwence Kane and Kris Wilder’s new book How to Win a Fight: A Guide to Avoiding and Surviving Violence is out today.

"Like reverse sexism, this belittling of men seems to be 100 percent acceptable."

2011-09-30T12:03:00.003-04:00

The Anchoress pointed out an interesting article called "Shrews" by Katrina Fernandez:

Without getting into a lengthy dissertation on the Feminist Movement and Women's Liberation, I will jump straight to what we've reaped as a result. In our zeal to be declared equal we've surrendered much that distinctly marks us as feminine. Worse, we continue to perpetuate the most awful of stereotypes—only magnified by 100. The most damning of these is The Shrew.....

Like reverse sexism, this belittling of men seems to be 100 percent acceptable. It's even used as the tie that binds in building female relationships—commiserating over the "miserableness" of the male species. I understand it can be hard to make friends when meeting people for the first time, but making your husband the butt of jokes is not the way to endear yourself to me. It's not just insulting to your husband but to me as well, a single woman who would love to have a spouse to promise to honor and respect. It's like waving a steak in front of a starving person and proclaiming it tastes like garbage and tossing it to the floor.

2011-09-27T09:43:00.003-04:00

Andrew Klavan has an interesting post up on the book Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength.

Is Television Portraying Men in a Better Light?

2011-09-23T07:12:00.003-04:00

I wondered about this as I watched the new show last night "Person of Interest." The show is about a different person each week who is either the victim or perpetrator of a violent crime and of course, the "good guys" who put a stop to it before it happens.

In the season premiere, the "person of interest" is a woman, Diane Hanson, an assistant DA for the city. Naturally, it is thought that she is going to be the victim of the crime, perhaps targeted by a gang she is prosecuting or her ex-boyfriend who works in the same office. It turns out, Hanson, the pretty DA, is actually the ring leader of a group of bad cops who she tells to kill her ex who seems to be on to them. So score one for the ex who is actually the good guy here.

I have also noticed in a few commercials lately that it is the wives, not the husbands who are put in a worse light. In one phone commercial, a man tells his wife that he got a contract for a cell phone and she mutters about how wasteful he is with money and how he doesn't consult her when spending money. It turns out, he got the phone for free and and she looks shocked and shuts up.

In another State Farm commercial, a guy is talking to his agent in the middle of the night innocently while his wife comes downstairs, yelling at him for talking to what she thinks is a woman he is involved with. The male agent is shown at the end of the commercial in his cubicle while the husband just looks slightly exasperated with his jealous wife. These commercials aren't the best but I wonder if it shows that the tide is turning with the "men are idiots and cheaters" theme.

What do you think? Do you see examples where men are portrayed on television in a more positive light or have I just cherry-picked a few examples that are not part of a trend?

How to Win a Fight or Dodge a Lawsuit?

2011-09-18T08:47:00.006-04:00

Which is more important? I thought about this question as I read through a new book on fighting called How to Win a Fight: A Guide to Avoiding and Surviving Violence written by Lawrence Kane and Kris Wilder. I was excited to see my copy show up in the mail and I started reading to see if I could gain some insight into how to increase one's self-defense moves.

I had previously interviewed Lawrence Kane, the author of The Little Black Book of Violence: What Every Young Man Needs to Know About Fighting for a PJTV show and one of the things that struck me about Kane and the other authors in this self-defense genre is how much focus is placed on avoiding a lawsuit or jail. Yes, those are good goals to have, but better ones are avoiding losing your life or your limbs.

The book starts out with a warning that self-defense is legal but fighting is illegal. "Readers are encouraged to be aware of all appropriate local and national laws relating to self-defense, reasonable force, and the use of weaponry, and act in accordance with all applicable laws at all times." Next, a foreword by Sergent Rory Miller emphasizes how bad you will feel if you killed someone in self-defense. He goes on to let you know that "Maybe the relatives of the guy who attacked you, though they have been afraid of him for years, come out of the woodwork and get a small army of attorneys and start remembering how he was 'a good boy, very caring'...." These family members and their attorneys will be looking to take your money from you. Or, you could end up in jail for defending yourself.

Then, in a chapter called "Use Only as Much Force as the Situation Warrants", Kane and Wilder ask the question, "Is it really better to be judged by twelve than carried by six?" Their response? "We do not advocate that sentiment because we feel that it trivializes the seriousness of violent confrontations. Never forget that if you are found guilty in a jury trial, you will be spending a whole lot of time in a confined environment... Even if you don't go to prison, you could lose your job, suffer the consequences in you family and community, etc." To the authors' credit, they do point out that "under no circumstances should you let your fear of legal consequences keep you from living through a violent encounter... If you don't survive, everything else is meaningless." Good advice.

As far as the rest of the book goes, absolutely read it if you are interested in learning the tactics of self-defense. It is terrific in that area. The chapters on awareness, the seven mistakes to avoid in a fight and how to use your words as a weapon are invaluable.

My problem is that the real readers of this book are likely to be highly civilized middle-class people who are likely to hesitate too long to defend themselves, not too quick to throw a punch. Yes, I wish the criminals who need this book would read it but they won't. If they thought that far ahead, they wouldn't be criminals. The average American is probably not aggressive enough in self-defense, rather than too aggressive. If you don't believe me, remember that most people passively hide under a desk during mass school shootings which often leads to the person being shot or killed. J.Reid Meloy, author of Violence Risk and Threat Assessment, points out that those who are aggressive or who have the opportunity to run away are more likely to live through an attack like this.

Having a flexible strategy that will help you survive when approached with violence is imperative, this book will help you be prepared to find one that just might work.

Is Modern-Day Wheat Dangerous?

2011-09-15T07:05:00.003-04:00

I am in the middle of a book called Wheat Belly: Lose the Wheat, Lose the Weight, and Find Your Path Back to Health. I have always wondered if I had celiac disease but never been tested so figured it couldn't hurt to give this book a try.

The book is written by cardiologist William Davis who says that thanks to the actions of Big Food and government agencies such as the USDA and places like the American Heart Association that are always pushing "whole grains," we are sicker and fatter than ever.

Davis discusses how modern-day wheat can be dangerous and can lead to weight gain, diabetes, heart disease and neurological disorders. "Wheat," the book says, "has changed dramatically in the past 50 years under the influence of agricultural scientists who have genetically altered it beyond recognition with little or no questioning of whether these agricultural "evolutions" are compatible with human health."

Have you tried getting off wheat? If so, did it help?

What's Wrong with being an Alpha Male?

2011-09-14T07:07:00.004-04:00

Apparently, a lot according to this Wall Street Journal article entitled "Are Alpha Males Healthy?":

It isn't easy being an alpha male. Getting to the top and staying there takes a physical toll.

The latest evidence comes from wild baboons in Kenya's Amboseli basin. Researchers from Princeton and Duke universities studied 125 males in five groups over nine years and found that while the alpha males got the best food and the most mates, they experienced far more stress than the beta males just beneath them in the hierarchy, based on the levels of cortisol, a stress hormone, in fecal samples.

The beta males had almost as many mates and got just as much grooming from others, but they didn't have to spend as much time fighting or following females around to keep other males away.

The article mentions a book called Alpha Male Syndrome. I took a look at it on Amazon and found that is written by a psychologist and her husband who "steer Alphas and those who work with them away from dysfunction and towards productivity in this action-oriented book that may miss its overconfident primary target." So being an alpha male is "dysfunctional?"

While it is possible that alphas are more stressed and that betas have a more relaxing life, I'm not so sure. Betas have their own problems, we may just not have enough research and understanding of beta men to see the impact on their psychological life and on society. It seems to me that this article and book is more of an exercise in steering masculine men towards acting more like women, though in a subtle way by saying "being an alpha is bad for your health, it could kill you."

Do you think being an Alpha male is unhealthy? If so, is being a Beta better?

2011-09-12T11:55:00.001-04:00

Gary Wickert at PJM: "Defining ‘Fair’ in Obama’s ‘Paying a Fair Share’ Rhetoric."

The new Almanac of American Politics

2011-09-10T18:34:00.003-04:00

Today, I flipped through a new copy of Michael Barone's The Almanac of American Politics 2012. The Almanac is amazing as it profiles every member of Congress and every governor as well as census data and "information on topics ranging from campaign expenditures to voting records to interest group ratings."

George Will calls it the "Bible of American Politics" and I can understand why. Barone's updated book is amazingly detailed and gives the reader political information about every region in the US. It's a great reference if you're a political junkie or would just enjoy the challenge of reading 1838 pages.

2011-09-07T07:06:00.003-04:00

John Hawkins interviews Lee Doren about his new ebook Please Enroll Responsibly: Avoiding Indoctrination at College.

"Feminism can be thought of as like a corporation."

2011-09-07T06:15:00.003-04:00

Barbara Oakley, author of Cold-Blooded Kindness, is interviewed at Times Higher Education:

"Feminism can be thought of as like a corporation. It's interested in its constituents. Well-meaning feminists are often trained only to see a certain way, only to support their constituents. That is partly what underlies the spurious research on battered-woman syndrome. Anyone who questions whether battered women are only simple victims is put in the pillory and crucified."

Read the rest here.

Does the College Essay Suck the Life Out of Boys?

2011-09-05T15:56:00.007-04:00

So it's pouring rain here in Knoxville and I spent the afternoon reading a terrific book called Crazy U: One Dad's Crash Course in Getting His Kid Into College. If you have a teen getting ready to apply to college, this is a great read and it's hilarious to boot.

The author, Andrew Ferguson, goes through the process of trying to help his son get into college and starts by discussing the lengths parents are going to to try and get their kids into a selective school. Some are even hiring $40,000 college counselors years before their kid applies to college to guide them through the process. Wouldn't it be easier just to give the kid forty grand and tell them to start their own business? But perhaps that is too simplistic.

One thing that caught my eye was how hard and depressing it was for the son to try and write the college essay. Many of the colleges ask for an essay about the student's "inner life"--usually a buzz word for some kind of sappy self-absorbed nonsense where the student "took a risk" of some kind and went on to become a better person or some variation of that theme.

In the book, Ferguson's son finally spits out a couple of paragraphs about his experience at a camp where there was a swimming test and he managed to swim the required distance while the rest were defeated. In the essay, the son wrote that he was "tired but proud; he sympathized with his classmates who hadn't finished and in his victory, accepted modestly, he learned the timeless value of persistence and determination, expressed with grim earnestness..."

But his father knew the truth: "which was the masculine truth. He didn't remember the race because it proved the timeless value of persistence. He remembered the victory because it was a victory: he had competed against this classmates, friends and rivals alike, and beaten them soundly and undeniably, and earned the right to a sack dance in the end zone. He knew he couldn't say this, though, and I knew he was right."

And that pretty much sums it up for the rest of college. Trying to please a bunch of people who care more about a PC stance than critically thinking with passion. It's no wonder that boys and men are bypassing college.

2011-09-05T12:11:00.004-04:00

John Hawkins at PJM Lifestyle: "Quit Your Terrible Job Now! 7 Tips for Tomorrow’s Entrepreneurs." A commenter to this post by the name of Yooper makes a good point:

Here’s Tip #10 – Be aware that the political environment has a direct impact upon your business, virtually any business. Don’t be one of those who says that you have no interest in politics. I didn’t have much interest in politics until I realized that what occurs in Washington can make or break my business in short order.

Another commenter by the name of Capn Rusty states:

Tip 8: Pick an industry or market segment that is totally unregulated, like software development in the early 90′s, or . . . blogging in the early 00′s.

Good advice.

2011-09-05T06:52:00.002-04:00

Mark Perry at Carpe Diem blog: Social Security IS a Pyramid Scheme (via Newsalert).

Why so Quick to Call Business Leaders Psychopaths?

2011-09-02T18:37:00.006-04:00

I was reading an article over at CNBC entitled "Think Your Boss Is a Psychopath? That May Be True."

In a recent study of more than 200 executives, nearly 4 percent scored at or above the traditional cutoff for psychopathy using the Psychopathy Checklist, which researchers regard as the "gold standard" for assessing this personality disorder, said Paul Babiak, one of the researchers who conducted the study and co-author of the book, "Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work."

By contrast, just 1 percent of the general population is categorized as having psychopathic tendencies. Admittedly, it’s just one study, but it suggests that business leaders could be four times as likely to be psychopathic than the average person....

In fact, he often uses the phrase "parasitic predator" to describe corporate psychopaths. "They are parasitic in that they are looking for a host to support them," he said. "A big company is an easy place in which to hide."

I have to wonder about this study and the way that CNBC presented this article. It makes it sound like business leaders who are psychopaths are a dime a dozen. Why are they picking on business leaders and the corporate world? Is it because the study authors or CNBC have it in their own minds that corporate bosses are corrupt, kind of like the author of this kooky article entitled "Capitalism: A System Run By and For Psychopaths"?

I have taken a continuing education course from Robert Hare, the co-author of the book mentioned above and in the course, he told us that it is a very dangerous thing to diagnose someone with psychopathy. We dealt in the course with adults and juveniles who were jailed for violent and other crimes. Often times, Hare and his colleagues would warn us to be very careful in our diagnosis, lest someone who was charged with a crime end up being discriminated against because of the psychopathy label if untrue. Shouldn't his co-author, Paul Babiak, use the same good advice? Should he use a study of only 200 people to make such a generalization?

Why business leaders? Why not study SEIU members or liberal politicians? Where is that study?

How Bad will the Job Picture Get?

2011-09-02T09:02:00.006-04:00

I just read that the job growth in August was zero. I believe it after my experience a couple of weeks ago in Atlanta. I was there on business and went over to Lenox Square Mall. On the way, I ran into a beautiful woman who said she was heading over to a job interview. I figured she was going for a job as a model or high level manager of a hotel or organization--given the way she was dressed. "Wish me luck!" she exclaimed as she headed off the elevator we were on. As I headed into the mall later, she was in a long line of women, all gorgeous and all meticulously turned out. The line was long and went around the store. What jobs were these women applying for? A co-manager or clerk at the Forever 21 store opening up at the mall. All of them looked eager and frankly, a bit desperate for a job. But in Atlanta, where the unemployment is high, people seemed happy just to be working when I talked to them in cabs or in restaurants. How much worse will it get? I don't know, but I think as more businesses "go John Galt" in the Obama economy, much worse.

The Average Person Spends Four hours of their Day Battling Temptation

2011-08-31T20:08:00.007-04:00

I am reading a new book by social psychologist Roy F. Baumeister & journalist John Tierney entitled Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength. According to the authors, the average person spends four hours or more each day resisting temptation: Temptation to slack off at work and check facebook, to eat unhealthy foods, or even to engage in sex or other activities.

Does surfing the web to look for blog-fodder count as temptation? What if blogging is your job? Does it count as willpower then?

What temptations have you resisted lately, and which ones have you given in to?

2011-08-30T14:37:00.003-04:00

Ronnie Schreiber at PJM Lifestyle: "Charles Kettering Liberated Women More Than Betty Friedan & Gloria Steinem.

Should Ugly People get Affirmative Action?

2011-08-29T11:48:00.002-04:00

"Hell,no!" I thought, as I read a post on this topic at Amy Alkon's blog but unfortunately, economist Daniel Hamermesh, author of a new book, Beauty Pays: Why Attractive People Are More Successful thinks otherwise. In an article in the New York Times, he states:

Beauty is as much an issue for men as for women. While extensive research shows that women’s looks have bigger impacts in the market for mates, another large group of studies demonstrates that men’s looks have bigger impacts on the job.

Why this disparate treatment of looks in so many areas of life? It’s a matter of simple prejudice....

A more radical solution may be needed: why not offer legal protections to the ugly, as we do with racial, ethnic and religious minorities, women and handicapped individuals?

We actually already do offer such protections in a few places, including in some jurisdictions in California, and in the District of Columbia, where discriminatory treatment based on looks in hiring, promotions, housing and other areas is prohibited. Ugliness could be protected generally in the United States by small extensions of the Americans With Disabilities Act. Ugly people could be allowed to seek help from the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and other agencies in overcoming the effects of discrimination. We could even have affirmative-action programs for the ugly.

I noticed that some bloggers were arguing about whether or not ugly people have it so bad, but that's not really the point. The more important point here is that every time some overly-dramatic academic comes up with a "theory," they run to get the government involved as a "solution" --almost always making the problem worse. It's no wonder we are in such financial and moral trouble these days.

"Sixty to 90 percent of jobs are found informally - mainly through friends, relatives, and direct contacts."

2011-08-28T07:27:00.003-04:00

I thought about the above statistic as I read a new book called The 11 Laws of Likability: Relationship Networking . . . Because People Do Business with People They Like. The author, Michelle Lederman, gives good advice on how to network in a more relaxed and authentic way. If you are looking for a job (or trying to build your business), her advice can be invaluable.

My favorite chapter was one on "The Law of Perception" that discussed nonverbal body language and how important it is in a job interview or in business dealings. Making eye contact, standing tall, and pausing at the right time can all lead to positive perceptions whereas lack of eye contact or staring, slouching and coming off as insincere and fake can give a negative impression that loses you a job interview or potential client.

I used to think it was unfair that people had to get others to like them or had to know someone to get a job but I realize that this analysis was unfair itself. Why would someone want to hire someone or do business with someone who is not recommended by a person that you think highly of? Is a complete stranger with no known background a better bet? I doubt it.

2011-08-26T07:12:00.001-04:00

John Hawkins interviews Mark Steyn about his new book After America: Get Ready for Armageddon.

Fixing your Aching Back, Neck and Shoulders

2011-08-25T11:49:00.003-04:00

I am blogging while sitting on my new gadget--the Gaiam Balance Ball Chair. I am pretty much willing to try anything at this point to fix my aching back, neck and shoulders, even sitting on a ball. So far, so good. The box came yesterday from Amazon and is easy to assemble. It has a base and and one of those exercise balls that you sit on that is supposed to keep your posture upright and in the correct position for using a computer. My main complaint with it at this early date is that the ball is kind of small. However, the instructions say this is normal and that after 24-48 hours, you can use the air pump that comes with it to make it bigger. I did that this morning and it seems to be better. If you are over six feet, the small size of the ball might not make the height high enough for you.

The ball chair also came with an exercise book that showed how to use the chair for exercise when you want to take a break. The seated twists they show do seem to help in-between typing if you have a tight neck and shoulders. As for the spine streches that have you lying across the ball in various positions, I am really not so sure I wouldn't fall off. The base of the chair is in the way for me but if you take the ball out, it is easier. There are also pictures of a model doing push-ups and donkey kicks that look more like a gym work-out but I am not up to trying those out at the moment. Overall, I'm pretty satisfied with the chair and hope that as time goes on, it keeps my posture in check.

I have blogged about pain issues before that are caused by the computer and found that there are a number of good books out there that have helped. These include Stretching Anatomy, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Back Pain, and 8 Steps to a Pain-Free Back: Natural Posture Solutions for Pain in the Back, Neck, Shoulder, Hip, Knee, and Foot.

If you have better or different suggestions, drop them in the comments.

Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone With Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder

2011-08-23T10:24:00.002-04:00

I just got a press release about a new book co-authored by Randi Kreger, the author of Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder. Her new book is called Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone With Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The book is described as follows:

SPLITTING is a legal and psychological guidebook that everyone seeking a divorce from a persuasive blamer should own. Written by Bill Eddy, a family lawyer, divorce mediator, and experienced social worker, and Randi Kreger, BPD expert and author of the bestselling Stop Walking on Eggshells, it offers readers help for navigating the entire process of divorce: hiring and managing a divorce lawyer, reaching a reasonable settlement, protecting oneself and one's children from emotional and/or physical abuse from the former spouse, resisting false accusations, and getting enforceable court orders. The book also delves into the difficult-to-understand, aggressive behavior of persuasive blamers, offering readers psychological explanations for their former spouse's actions and help for coping emotionally with the spouse's extreme mood swings and impulsivity.

If you or someone you know is thinking of divorce from a wife or husband who has either or both of these disorders, this book could potentially be a huge help with the emotional and legal fall-out.

2011-08-22T19:30:00.002-04:00

MSNBC: "After uproar, man with breast cancer OK’d for coverage":

Although he was not eligible for traditional Medicaid coverage, Johnson was told to apply for coverage under Medicaid’s Breast and Cervical Cancer Prevention and Treatment Act, an 11-year-old federal mandate designed to help people who may not fit into traditional Medicaid eligibility requirements. But the program only provides care for women....

There is a misperception that Medicaid is for all poor people, when you actually have to fit into a very specific category, much of which is determined at the state level,” explained Jeff Stensland, a health department spokesperson. For example, if Johnson was diagnosed with, say, colorectal cancer or a brain tumor, he still wouldn’t get coverage under Medicaid. South Carolina, like most states, does not provide Medicaid to single, childless adults.

I love one of the comments on the article stating: "Haha... I'd like to see a private insurance company make this decision. Fat chance! They would have let him die."Umm, doesn't this fool realize that the Medicaid program is a government-run program that left to its own devices would have let this man or any other die of breast cancer? They normally don't allow access to the cancer program for men, it is a women-only program. Only because of an "uproar" did this guy luckily get coverage. The next guy many not be so lucky. Just wait until we get universal care.

Gun Owners: Are You Compensating for Something?

2011-08-22T14:13:00.005-04:00

We've all heard it before, guys who carry guns have small penises or some variation of that. I have always laughed at that notion--usually said by people who have no clue. I am reading a book called The Cornered Cat: A Woman's Guide to Concealed Carry which is, as the name indicates a book for women who want to carry guns for self-defense. The author, Kathy Jackson, is rather humorous and discusses the common accusation that "Gun owners are compensating for something. Usually said with an evil grin and a you-know-what-I mean kind of chuckle."

Jackson admits that it is absolutely true; she is compensating for something. In fact, she is compensating for a number of things: For her kids who are too small to defend themselves, for being a sedentary middle-aged woman, for wanting a decent back-up plan if luck doesn't work, and for not "wanting to be the dead victim of the next murder the local police will be investigating after it happens."

If you believe in gun rights, what are you compensating for?

Update: Cross-posted at the PJ Tatler.

"More than 30 percent of the cases investigated by detectives each year are deemed unfounded, five times the national average."

2011-08-21T09:04:00.005-04:00

In response to my previous post, Dave from the BaltoNorth blog sends in this article from the Baltimore Sun on false rape allegations:

The Baltimore Police Department has for the past four years recorded the highest percentage of rape cases that officers conclude are false or baseless of any city in the country, according to The Baltimore Sun's review of FBI data. More than 30 percent of the cases investigated by detectives each year are deemed unfounded, five times the national average. Only Louisville and Pittsburgh have reported similar numbers in the recent past, and the number of unfounded rape cases in those cities dropped after police implemented new classification procedures. The increase in unfounded cases comes as the number of rapes reported by Baltimore police has plunged — from 684 in 1995 to 158 in 2009, a decline of nearly 80 percent. Nationally, FBI reports indicate that rapes have fallen 8 percent over the same period.

Many people mistakenly think that women never falsely report rape. You would think that after all the mess with the Duke Lacrosse team and the resulting books such as Until Proven Innocent: Political Correctness and the Shameful Injustices of the Duke Lacrosse Rape Case, that academics and others would realize the error of their ways but ideology often wins out against the truth.

2011-08-20T07:32:00.002-04:00

WSJ: "College Rape Accusations and the Presumption of Male Guilt:
Pressured by the Obama administration, universities abandon any pretense of due process in sexual assault cases."

Groceries too Expensive? Grow your Own.

2011-08-17T11:26:00.003-04:00

Glenn ordered a book called Edible Landscaping that proclaimed "Now You Can Have Your Gorgeous Garden and Eat It Too!" Since I am in the process of growing tomatoes again in my Earthbox, I thought it couldn't hurt to see what else I might be able to grow in the yard that might be edible. The book shows a number of fruits, vegetables and herbs that can be mixed into your landscaping that provide not only pleasing aesthetics but function as they can be used for food. Given the price of groceries lately, this is a real plus.

The book shows you how to design with herbs, vegetables, fruits, berries, and nuts. One section (page 142) even shows what foods are best for every zone. "Consider your climate before you choose your fruits, berries and nuts." Favorites according to some experts (consulted by the author Rosalind Creasy) included Alpine strawberries, Blueberries, and Chestnuts in the North and Midwest and Asian persimmons, Avocados, Figs and Citrus in the south. For the West, she mentions the site of Dave Wilson who runs a nursery.

Overall, Edible Landscaping is a great book with huge, pretty illustrations and details about how to grow your own edible garden.

If you are growing your own food, what do you find grows best in your area?

The Raw Food Diet: Is the Cure Worse than the Disease?

2011-08-14T10:19:00.004-04:00

This morning, I am reading through a book called The Complete Idiot's Guide to Raw Food Detox. I know, I know, why am I torturing myself with such stuff? I don't know. I find nutrition and the way people think about it interesting.

It does make me wonder what the point of a raw food diet is, however, when I read the section on the "Symptoms of Healing" that are a "cleansing reaction" to a diet of nutrient-dense raw foods. Common cleansing reactions include:

Headaches
Body aches
Fatigue
A coated tongue
Itching or rashes
Slight fever

The author describes his reactions to a cleansing spa in Thailand where he was fatigued and ended up with the "shakes." He went to bed early with "a mild fever and chill" that kept him wrapped up in a blanket. He did say that he woke up feeling symptom-free but I am left wondering why substituting these symptoms for the symptoms of a non raw-food diet are any improvement.

It's not a ringing endorsement of the raw-food diet. I have enough trouble without going through all this to "feel better." Anyway, didn't they just find out a lot of this stuff is bunk--kind of like colon cleansing?

2011-08-12T14:13:00.002-04:00

Amy Alkon has an interesting post on whether or not short men should wear lifts:

Women, across cultures, are typically attracted to men who are taller than they are. Some women will date and marry shorter men, although it seems to help greatly if a man makes up for what he lacks in height by having piles of money and a private jet.

My question: What if a guy's the perfect man -- minus three four inches (in height, ya gutterbrains)?

What if he makes up for some of that with lifts in his shoes?

And let's say he would always wear those lifts, except at the beach and in bed.

Would you be able to overlook the actual height difference if he made himself taller in that way? Would it be a turnoff?

I never had a height preference when it came to men, but many women do. Would you wear lifts? It seems kind of absurd to me but then, I don't have to deal with the problem.

Question of the Day

2011-08-10T16:21:00.003-04:00

I read that French President Nicolas Sarkozy disrupted his vacation to fly back to Paris for an emergency meeting to review "the economic and financial situation." Remember the French heat wave of 2003 when thousands of elderly people died in their homes while the administration and families stayed on vacation in August? I thought that "socialists" were supposed to care more about people than money. Or is this just a lie?

Men Living Longer: Women and minorities hardest hit?

2011-08-10T12:31:00.005-04:00

The New York Time's opinion page has one of those Onion-like titles that really makes you shake your head just hoping it's a parody: "Is America Ready for More Old Men?" (via Instapundit):

A recent Times article noted that the number of men age 65 and older increased by 21 percent from 2000 to 2010, nearly double the 11.2 percent growth rate for women in that age group.

What are the implications -- the benefits and the costs -- of having more men around longer? While most experts say it may be only a blip, some demographers say that a surprisingly rapid rise in the number of men could cost society even more in retirement costs, since they earned more than women and would collect more, and they would add to the long-term care problem.

But it's not a parody, it's dead serious and a bunch of "experts" pose a debate about how men dying as quickly and efficiently without bothering women is the best outcome--oops, I mean the debate asks, "How might this narrowing gap change society and male-female relationships?"

Opinions seemed to focus much on the negative aspects of men's longer life on women. For example Stephanie Coontz, author of A Strange Stirring: The Feminine Mystique and American Women at the Dawn of the 1960s says " .... a woman trapped in an unhappy marriage might not find her husband’s extended lifespan very beneficial. Among unhappy couples, even a few extra minutes a day with one’s spouse raises blood pressure and lowers immune functioning. So imagine the toll that extra years can take."

Another paragon of compassion, Susan Jacoby, author of Never Say Die: The Myth and Marketing of the New Old Age seems to think men's sole purpose in life is to care for women. The man's death is a "price to be be paid by a woman." His life is not important in and of itself. Only women seem to have that autonomy. She says, "When a husband dies, the price for women -- and society -- is both economic and emotional. Women will likely face their closing, sickest years without a partner to help care for them. That’s one reason nursing home residents are overwhelmingly female." Note no mention of the huge cost to keep women in nursing homes. Most older men are dead. I guess this is better in her mind.

As they say, living well is the best revenge. If I were male, I would strive to live as long as I could and collect as much of the Social Security benefits and other entitlements as possible. After all, men in the past have been putting into the system for years only to die and give their benefits up--usually to older women. Now perhaps the tables are turning and more men will be collecting. It's only fair.

Does Meredith Whitney Read?

2011-08-10T11:26:00.004-04:00

I was surprised to see a story at CNBC with the title: "Tea Party Made Up of 'Freaked Out White Men': Whitney:"

“Call it Tea Party, whatever you will, the fringe element is I characterize (as) freaked-out white men who are unemployed and have been unemployed for three years and they’re scared to death,” she said. “Three to four million of them are about to roll off unemployment benefits in the next three to four months. This is only going to get worse.”

Democrats looking to hold the White House and regain full control of Congress will need to take note.

“For this reason you have to deal with the structural issues,” Whitney said. “If you are a Machiavellian Democrat you want do deal with this issue and defuse the Tea Party as fast as you possibly can because this poses the biggest threat to their re-election in 2012.”

If Whitney read at all, she would know that not only was the Tea Party started with the help of female bloggers and activists but the face of the Tea Party is female:

Many of the tea party’s most influential grass-roots and national leaders are women, and a new poll released this week by Quinnipiac University suggests that women might make up a majority of the movement as well.

I wonder what Whitney's agenda is for calling the Tea Party a bunch of "freaked out white men?" Even if men are involved, why the hate?

Is she just trying to show what a “trooper” she is because she is tired of being attacked by Democrats and this is her way of sucking up? If so, what a coward.

Cross-posted at the PJ Tatler.

Making College Pay

2011-08-09T09:28:00.003-04:00

I am reading a very helpful book about choosing colleges entitled Making College Pay: Strategies for Choosing Wisely, Doing Well & Maximizing Your Return. The great thing about this book is that it looks at college in a rational business manner and tries to help the reader take the emotion out of choosing a college. Most colleges, the authors (two savvy sisters involved in business and academia) say send the brightest students and others glossy brochures making it look like college is one big party. Maybe it is but it's an expensive one that might leave you with a hangover.

The book focuses on the real cost to families, rather than just the student and how a family may not get a good return (or any at all) on their investment. "Separating Fact from Fiction" is a good chapter warning the reader about the real facts of attending college such as:

Only 57 percent of students who enroll full time at a four-year college actually graduate within six years.

More than one-quarter of students who start college drop out before the second year.

The book shows with side by side comparisons how many of the classes at the "elite schools" are not much different than those at the university no one has ever heard of. There is a chapter on "comparison shopping" that helps a student narrow down his or her choices and focus on three basic goals:

1 )Finding a college that appeals to your interests, fits your aptitude and improves your marketability; 2) Choosing a school that fits your family's financial resources and minimizes cost, and 3) making sure that you increase the odds that you finish and get the degree.

Overall, this is a great book for parents and students looking to get through college without going broke.

Cross-posted at the PJ Lifestyle blog.

2011-08-08T06:07:00.002-04:00

CNBC: "The ten most hated jobs." Note that most of them are performed by men.

Is the Economy Stressing Your Family Out?

2011-08-07T08:16:00.008-04:00

I saw over at Rasmussen Reports (via Instapundit) that 67% of respondents felt that their family was being stressed by the economy:

The latest Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey finds that 67% of American Adults say the state of the economy is causing more stress on their family. That finding is up 10 points from this time last year . Twenty-seven percent (27%) say the economy isn’t causing their family more stress.

The survey also indicated more arguments with friends and family members:

Still, 43% of adults say they have gotten into an intense argument with a friend or family member about economic conditions in the country. That's up six points from 37% last year. Fifty-five percent (55%) say they have not gotten into a heated argument with a friend or family member about who is to blame for the state of the economy and how it should be fixed.

Senator Marco Rubio recently discussed the split in this country "between those who believe the government's job is to promote 'economic justice,'" i.e., the redistribution of wealth, that the government's job is to determine the equality of outcomes in people's lives, "and those who believe the government's job is to promote 'economic opportunity.'" Rush Limbaugh points out correctly that "economic justice" is not moral--it is socialism or Marxism and I agree with his point. But that is a separate issue.

As for family arguments about the economy, my guess is that family members are most likely to argue along these lines. Those who believe in "social justice" are arguing with those who believe in economic opportunity. It is sort of like the fight between Ayn Rand's characters in Atlas Shrugged. There are those who believe in taking from others and those who believe in the right to their own production. This isn't a fight that will be resolved easily and the bad economy is emphasizing the differences between how family members feel about these issues.

Is the economy stressing out your family members? Do you argue with them about the economy or just try to keep the peace?

Cross-posted at PJ Lifestyle.

Are People Becoming Ruder in the Obama Economy?

2011-08-05T08:13:00.006-04:00

I saw over at Rasmussen Reports that 76% of Americans feel that people are becoming ruder:

A new Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey finds that 76% of Adults say Americans are becoming more rude and less civilized. Just 12% say they’re becoming kinder and gentler, while just as many (12%) are not sure.

Well, Amy Alkon has been writing about rudeness for years but it does strike me that people are getting a bit nastier even lately. Mainly (and this is completely anecdotal), I have noticed drivers honking and acting out more.

Case in point. I saw a driver yesterday honking angrily at a truck for going what he thought was too slow. The other driver, angry that he was honked at, slowed down to a crawl for a mile or so, trapping the car behind him and letting him know what he thought of the angry behavior. This is just the tip of the iceberg. I have seen drivers lately acting even worse.

Although the Rasmussen post suggested that it might be technology and cell phones etc. that is causing increased rudeness, I wonder how much of the free-floating hostility is a reaction to the horrific economy, even for those who voted for the current administration. Maybe, the policies that are driving this country into the ground are also causing bad and hostile driving. Or maybe it's something else.

Anyone else notice an increase in hostile driving or other hostility in the air recently? What do you attribute the anger to?

When Vegetables Attack

2011-08-03T11:40:00.004-04:00

I recently went to my gastroenterologist who seemed appalled when I told him I was eating bacon everyday. "You need some fruits and vegetables," he stated. I assured him that I had tried that diet. It didn't work for me. I ended up with a heart attack while I was a vegetarian and later found out I was allergic to a number of fruits and vegetables. Yes, I realize that fruits and vegetables do not cause heart attacks, but frankly, I sometimes wonder if they prevent them. They also make me sick and kill my stomach so forgive me if I can't see the benefit of large amounts of them in my diet.

However, masochist that I am, I decided to read up on some healthier alternatives to bacon (are there any?). So I picked up the new book The Complete Idiot's Guide to Plant-Based Nutrition off my shelf that a publicist had sent me and decided to see if I could find some compromise between no plant foods and a few. I'm glad I did.

The book is written by dietician Julieanna Hever who seems up-to date on most of her research about food. For example, there is a lot of controversy surrounding tofu and soy products and its link to cancer or possible interference with thyroid function. In a section called, "Is Soy Safe?" the author makes a case for how soy can be part of one's diet. Eating it in moderation, avoiding processed soy products, and using only organic soy products are suggestions. Okay, at least she addresses it.

After reading about the joys of a plant-based diet from the book, I am re-thinking my boycott of almost all fruits and veggies and might give a few a try. But there is no way I am giving up my bacon.

Do you ever wonder what your dreams mean?

2011-08-01T13:10:00.004-04:00

Many times as a psychologist people ask me what their dreams mean. It's sort of hard to come up with an answer if you don't know much about the person's life. And the last dream books I read were mostly old ones like those of Carl Jung such as Man and His Symbols. So,I was grateful when a publicist from Adams Media asked if I wanted a review copy of a new book Into Your Dreams: Decipher your unique dream symbology to transform your waking life. The book is a fun way to learn more about yourself during your sleeping hours.

Unlike many dream books, this one goes beyond the "one size fits all" interpretation to give the reader ideas about what his or her particular dream means. Basically, the reader learns how to decipher their unique dream symbology and apply it to their waking life. The first part of the book gives a brief summary of the history and nature of dreams. The second part gives a listing of various symbols and some guidelines for possible meanings. The book is supposed to be more of a guide than a "dream dictionary."

Overall, it looks like a good book if you find your dreams interesting, troubling or recurrant and want to understand them.

What dreams have readers had that you find the most interesting or puzzling?

Weird comment of the day

2011-07-30T07:58:00.004-04:00

Over at the Washington Post, there is a rather pathetic article entitled "Why are we in this debt fix? It’s the elderly, stupid." In response, a commenter agrees with this "angel of mercy" with the following:

MarkMacDonald:
Thank you Mr. Samuelson for stating flatly what I have believed for many years: seniors are eating the seed corn of the future and there is no end in sight. I am 54 years old and have made a commitment not to live longer than 70. I will work as long as I can and have no desire to retire at all. We all know that the elderly are by far the wealthiest group of Americans and yet their demands on current and future generations are insatiable: they want to retire earlier and the expect more assist...See More
7/29/2011 8:37:59 AM EDT

Some of the responses to this weird comment asked the same question I had. How is he going to carry out his "commitment" not to live longer than 70? It's an odd thing to say and I wonder if he is really thinking through what he is saying? It's easy to say you will do something rash like this when you are not actually 70 but I wonder when the time comes what his thought process will be? And why should anyone else want such a depressing end? I know people who are 70 who can run circles around younger people, why should they be the target of such blatant prejudice and hate?

2011-07-29T13:47:00.002-04:00

The Washington Times: "States no longer wedded to idea of alimony for life" (Link fixed, thanks!).

Is Michelle Obama trying to kill me?

2011-07-28T07:52:00.001-04:00

I have a post up at the PJ Lifestyle blog asking "Is Michelle Obama trying to kill me?" that looks at the new changes to Happy Meals. Go take a look at it and read the comments --some are quite entertaining as well as insightful.

2011-07-27T14:38:00.001-04:00

Ed Driscoll at PJ Lifestyle: "The no kids-allowed-movement is spreading."

2011-07-27T07:38:00.002-04:00

I was at a law conference last night where there was a reception for the Federalist Society, a group of libertarian and conservative legal scholars. I have been to this reception a few times over the years and this year seemed to be the biggest turnout yet (though maybe some were just there for the free food and drinks). I spoke with a number of bloggers, including David Bernstein, from the Volokh Conspiracy and author of Rehabilitating Lochner: Defending Individual Rights against Progressive Reform and one of my favorite books You Can't Say That!: The Growing Threat to Civil Liberties from Antidiscrimination Laws. It was great to see and talk to so many people who support and write about individual freedom and libertarian ideas. It's a sharp contrast to the news and media culture that we live in at the current time.

2011-07-25T15:44:00.003-04:00

Buffalo Books has a good interview up with Barbara Oakley, author of Cold-Blooded Kindness: Neuroquirks of a Codependent Killer, or Just Give Me a Shot at Loving You, Dear, and Other Reflections on Helping That Hurts.

Will women ask to see men's biceps before having sex?

2011-07-25T11:50:00.004-04:00

I read this article in the New York Times (via Hot Air) entitled "Scientific Advances on Contraceptive for Men." This paragraph caught my eye:

Of course, women may have to trust that their partners are using birth control, as men do now. But at least one method, hormone implants, visibly bulge from a man’s bicep. “Guys like it because they can show it off,” Dr. Amory said. “Proof that the male is contracepting"...

So there is one method of birth control--the implant--that is visible and lets women know that the man is really using birth control. Wouldn't it also be helpful for men if women had something similar? Instead of just having to trust that a woman is taking pills, shots, etc., a guy would be able to see something tangible.

I actually like the idea of male birth control because it gives men more control over their reproductive lives. Right now, they simply have to "trust" that their sexual partners are using birth control. I wonder how women will feel when they have to do the same? At least if the guy is using an implant, it will show. But men? No such luck.

And honestly, wouldn't the feminists be all over it if women had to show the same kind of transparency? Hypocrites.

Should teens have sex at home?

2011-07-25T05:48:00.002-04:00

Stephen Kruiser at PJ Lifestyle linked to an article over at the NY Times entitled "The Sleepover Question." The article was written by Amy Schalet who is a professor and author of a forthcoming book Not Under My Roof: Parents, Teens, and the Culture of Sex. Schalet seems to think that Americans could improve their family life if they let kids have sex at their home:

Would Americans increase peace in family life and strengthen family bonds if they adopted more accepting attitudes about sex and what’s allowable under the family roof? I’ve interviewed 130 people, all white, middle class and not particularly religious, as part of a study of teenage sex and family life here and in the Netherlands. My look into cultural differences suggests family life might be much improved, for all, if Americans had more open ideas about teenage sex. The question of who sleeps where when a teenager brings a boyfriend or girlfriend home for the night fits within the larger world of culturally divergent ideas about teenage sex, lust and capacity for love.

What's your take?

Men and women do similar amounts of household chores.

2011-07-22T14:01:00.005-04:00

A reader sent me a video segment from the Today show discussing a study showing that married men are spending slightly more time at household chores than married women without children: 8 hours and 11 minutes for men vs. 8 hours and 3 minutes for women. With women with children, they did only 20 minutes more than men. Note the male suck-up in the video who says the bad rap against men is justified. Even when presented with evidence to the contrary, he can't keep from criticizing his fellow man. Though I don't typically use the term "mangina," I think this man fits the bill.

The video is here--just click on where it says, "You may not want hubby to read this"

2011-07-20T12:40:00.002-04:00

My post over at the PJ Lifestyle blog: "A Bridal or Glass Bikini?: Who designs this stuff for real women?"

Textbook Rental on Amazon Kindle

2011-07-18T14:41:00.003-04:00

I just saw on Fox Business that you can now rent textbooks on the Kindle. I went over to Amazon to check it out and read this:

Kindle Textbook Rental is a flexible and affordable way to read textbooks. You can rent for the minimum length, typically 30 days, and save up to 80% off the print list price. If you find you need your textbook longer, you can extend your rental by as little as 1 day as many times as you want and just pay for the added days.

Given the price of textbooks these days, this seems to be a great idea. Where was this when I was in college?

2011-07-18T07:34:00.002-04:00

Ed Driscoll has an interview up with Ben Shapiro, author of Primetime Propaganda: The True Hollywood Story of How the Left Took Over Your TV.

2011-07-18T07:29:00.001-04:00

John Hawkins at RWN: The Slow, Painful Coming Death Of The Independent, Conservative Blogosphere.

The Warrior Ethos

2011-07-16T14:23:00.006-04:00

Glenn received some new books in the mail from author Steven Pressfield and one that caught my eye was The Warrior Ethos. Pressfield has some great books that have sage advice such as Do the Work that explains how to overcome resistance and procrastination. The great thing about blogging is that I can now procrastinate about doing work while reading a book about how not to procrastinate and call that work for blogging. Oh, never mind...

Anyway, Pressfield describes himself as a writer who writes about war:

...external wars and internal wars, wars ancient and modern, real wars out of history and imagined wars that exist only in speculation.

The The Warrior Ethos was written for our men and women in uniform, but its utility, I hope, will not be limited to the sphere of literal armed conflict. We all fight wars--in our work, within our families and abroad in the wider world. Each of us struggles every day to define and defend our sense of purpose and integrity, to justify our existence on the planet and to understand, if only within our own hearts, who we are and what we believe in.

One interesting section called "The Warrior Archetype" discussed the archetypes of psychologist Carl Jung and looked at the stages we pass through on the way to maturity:

The warrior archtype clicks in like a biological clock sometime in the early to mid-teens. We join a gang, we try out for the football team, we hang with our homies, we drive fast, we take crazy chances, we seek adventure and hazard.

The lessons we learn in this "warrior" phase, the book says, are with us our whole lives as we move through our different life phases. What is learned in the warior phase carries over to being a good father, mother, husband or wife. Finally, the last chapter sums it all up: "The hardest thing in the world to be is ourselves."

How do we get to the point where we understand who we are, what we believe and how we want to live? This book asks a lot of questions--it's up to the reader to find the answers. It is also available in a Kindle Edition here.

Cross-posted here at the PJ Lifestyle blog.

"Burnt-out" or just working like a man?

2011-07-14T12:55:00.006-04:00

Over at the Daily Mail, there is an article on "the burnt-out generation." The word "generation" would imply that it would include men, but no, the article is about how women work too hard at home and work. The piece discusses a book by Dr. Joan Borysenko who wrote Fried: Why You Burn Out and How to Revive and she had this to say:

Dr Borysenko believes women suffer so severely because they are more likely than men to be people-pleasers who ignore their own needs.
Trapped in a cycle of trying to do their best, but not realising the toll it’s taking on them, they end up in a cycle of despair.
‘Burn-out is a disorder of hope. It sucks the life out of competent, hard-working people. You lose motivation and vitality,’ says Dr Borysenko, a Harvard-trained scientist and psychologist.
‘It happens when you feel you can’t stand it for one more minute. You have such thoughts as: “I hate my life.” ....

Dr Borysenko says women close to burn-out often put themselves last on their own list.
‘Women in burn-out exhaust themselves by doing, doing, doing,’ she says. They also become cynical and negative about life. Feeling relentlessly put-upon creates a martyr complex and a raging sense of resentment and indignation that often makes burn-out victims feel justified in lashing out...

She is worried about the toll on mothers trying to do it all, especially now that a job is no longer a matter of choice for many, but is instead essential to keeping the family finances afloat.

Funny, feminists have always told women they "could have it all." Now that they do, they are all a bunch of martyrs, no different than the way the 1950s housewives were described by feminists. Have you noticed that women are always portrayed as a bunch of martyrs who "never put themselves first," no matter the circumstances? The solution to their woes always seems to be to get more "me time."

I often watch men drag themselves to work or do things that call for sacrifice without complaining or sometimes, they have a heart attack or other health problem that no one really cares about and certainly, they get little sympathy.

Men are also adapting to new roles and doing much more in the home as well as working. People just call that "life" if you're a man. If you are a woman who works too hard, you are "burnt-out" and need help. Maybe "burnt-out" is just another phrase that means "work like a man." Feminists and their suck-ups are always saying that women are "superior" to men, but when I read articles like this one, I'm not so sure.